How could i get over this?

Question

I was sexually harassed by a close person at the age of 5, i still remeber every thing, in details, the three times! i blame my self that i didn't react! i was a little shy girl, (& at the age of 22 i m still shy & discreet) i believe that, that was the start of all my faults..
I still see that man & talk to him as nothing happened , now he has a wife & 03 childs.. i don't know what to think of him, or what to do to forget that..

thank you so much, admitting that it was not my fault make really feel better, .. its a good start i think, & may be i should as you said talk to a counsellor.. thank people, its my first time to talk about & i fell much better.

Answer 1

That's really shitty that that happened to you, but you shouldn't blame yourself. It's his fault for taking advantage of you and harassing you.

I think you should try to confront him about it. I mean, it might be empowering for you, and even if he doesn't react, at least you'll have told him how you feel. You shouldn't let what he said to you affect you like this.

Answer 2

First let me say this to you. Sexual harassment is not the fault of the victim at any age. You were five years old at the time what did you expect yourself to do. At that age you do not have the vocabulary that you have now. You do not have the physical strength that you have now, you do not have the knowledge or comprehension that you have now. At age 5 you probably did not even know that what this person was doing was wrong. So please do not blame yourself. Put the blame where it belongs on your victimizer. Now that you are an adult you have to make the decisions in your own life. You are allowing this person to continue to victimize you by you talking to him and acting as if nothing has happened, You are giving yourself mixed messages. Until you face what he did and acknowledge what he did, talk about what he did and confront him with what he did you will never be able to get over it. Take the power away from him. Tell him you remember what he did when you were a child and that you will never forget it or forgive him for the hurt that he caused you. Then walk away.

Answer 3

It breaks my heart to read your question.

I don't know you at all, but what I do know for a FACT is that it was not your fault. You were not to blame in any way at all. If you find your thoughts going that way, you need to stop - take a breath - and tell yourself it WAS NOT your fault.

If at all possible, I would try and find a counsellor or therapist to help you deal with this.

It does concern me that he has 3 children. While it is not your responsibility, I would urge you to tell someone, somehow, even anonymously - what this man is capable of.

Answer 4

You would perhaps do well to go to a therapist, rape counselor, and tell them immediately! Please do not confront him first, he may be violent. Go get professional help. It is your right to take care of yourself and do whatever you need to get past this. This is a painful, complicated issue and honestly an answers forum like this is not going to be enough (or give you the answers that are right for you). Please talk one on one with a professional.

*And having said this, a caveat: not every therapist is right for someone. If you don't like the first one, search. You deserve to heal from this (and perhaps protect others from this pedophile) with someone who you are comfortable with and treats you with the respect, love, and compassion you deserve.

What if he is abusing his own children, or their playmates?

Please go talk to someone who knows about this stuff now!

I put in a couple of links for help, I'm sure you can find more.

This is not your fault. Not one bit. Good luck, and my prayers are with you.

Answer 5

As for shame, it is not your dirty, it is his, and as for guilt, you need to take action to deal with that. Perhaps you could become a rape victim counselor. Guilt comes from perceived inaction on the part of the self. Of course being 5 years old at the time you are lucky to be alive; trying to do something to him may have got you your death.