My parents are fighting constantly now about the others relatives, money, and whose job it is to do what. They fight in the living room every night and Im in there with them and sometimes my brother. We usually yell at them and curse at them to shut up and it only works for 5 minuets or so. There fighting can be heard throughout the whole house and next door. I think they are getting a divorce; my dad was fighting about it with her a minuet ago. I need help to get them to stop fighting.
2007-12-19 13:00:34 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Awww, sweetie. The fighting doesn't necessarily mean divorce, but it COULD be a sign. Sometimes people grow and change so much that they just aren't compatible anymore. My advice would be for you to sit down with them and in a calm way explain to them that their constant fighting is hurting you and your brother, and that they need to get it together for your sake.
2007-12-19 13:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry that you're in this mess and they're making it hard for you by tugging you both ways. My folks divorced when I was 11, but it was over alcohol so I knew I wasn't to blame. They both worked me for information about the other one but I was smart enough to not comply and soon they quit. Unless your mom is a total monster it might be overall better for you to stay in the U.S., but you have to study this situation really hard and make the decision that's best for you. Are there any other U.S. relatives who could put you up for a year or two to give you a little distance from them both? Talk to a counselor at school and see what they advise, especially about outside help. Flying alone on a plane is okay as long as a parent helps you and you pre-arrange things with the airline. Good luck. Come back and ask another question to let us know how things are going.
2016-04-10 08:39:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing you and your brother can do is sit both of your parents down and let them know how this is effecting you. They will either make a choice to stop the fighting in front of you or solve the problem, which may be divorce. Also, when you sit them down talk about how you feel about if they were to get a divorce. But don't you stress yourself out. There is not alot you can do, your parents are the ones who are adults and should act like adults.
2007-12-19 13:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by springful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you cannot get them to stop fighting, they can either work things out or get a divorce. Sometimes it is better in the long run for everyone including you and your brother if they are separated because it seems like they are unhappy together. I think it's very selfish on your parents' behalf to fight in front of you and your brother.
If their fighting is really getting to you, I suggest to tell a close family member that you can trust and have them talk to your parents about how their actions are affecting you and your brother. If you don't have a family member you can talk to, I suggest you request to speak with your school counselor/school social worker.
2007-12-19 13:12:07 · answer #4 · answered by Jaxi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I'm unfortunately also going through the exact same thing. My parents fight all the time too. Screaming and throwing things, and saying horrible things to each other. Worst off, they each use me to vent. It's awful, and I'm sick of it.... so yes, I feel your pain. You shouldn't feel responsible to try to make them stop fighting. There's absolutely nothing that you can do, because it's not up to you; it's up to them.
I guess about the only thing you can do is to try to get away from it if you can. Busy yourself with something else, turn the tv on and go to your room. Let them work it out for themselves. It's not going to help anything by you sticking around to be in the middle of it.
Bottom line is, all you can do is take a look at what they're doing, and make sure you DON'T do what they're doing when you're in a relationship. Learn from their mistakes and do your best not to repeat them.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-20 18:16:59 · answer #5 · answered by als535 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, i'm sorry you are in such pain... the sad truth is, you can't control what your parents do, or their relationship. they are wrong for fighting all of the time -- some people don't know another way to communicate except for yelling, screaming and cussing.
Perhaps the lesson to learn from this is not to yell, scream and cuss at people... it doesn't sound or look nice, and there are other ways to solve issues.
You can also tell your parents how you feel -- when they are not arguing, ask them to LISTEN to you. Let them know you don't want them to answer, but think about what you say for a day or two.....then tell them how you feel... such as "i feel scared when you argue", "i am nervous that you are divorcing", "i feel embarrassed when you yell at each other".... etc.
You can even write down what you FEEL before you tell them....
i can't think of another thing...except if you are stressed out about all of this, talk with your school counselor... they are trained to help with feelings, too...
take care.
2007-12-19 13:13:24 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents went through the fighting stage. Shouting from upstairs to downstairs etc it was awful, I feel bad for you and your bro to have to listen to it as its not fair to you guys. So my parents used to fight, then they just stopped talkingto each other and ignored each other and avoided each other, then a few years later they divorced and it was a relief!
So the whole process for my parents took about 10 years. I wished they had gotten divorced sooner as it saved a lot of stress. They stayed together 'for the kids' but in the end it did more harm than good for them to stay together for us.
Its not always a bad thing if they divorce, it happens to 50% of marriages in the US so its not unusual.
2007-12-19 13:06:29 · answer #7 · answered by Toast 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my parents have been divorced for year. i remember them fighting all the time. even though i didn't want then to get a divorce and i was so upset when they did. as time went on i learned that the divorce was for the best. they don't fight any more and they are both happy and Friends. talk to your parent you are closer to and get some answers. even if you don't like what you here it could be the best for your parents=)
2007-12-19 13:07:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can ask them about it separately and talk about it they wish too, but they need to work through the problems themselves. You didn't do anything to cause them to fight. Love isn't easy and everyone has rough times where they forget they even love each other. Just be there to help your brother, its all you can do right now.
2007-12-19 13:15:13 · answer #9 · answered by Bumblebee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents were fighting all the time too. this was when i was young and they would fight with myself and my bay sister sat in the room with them. One night they where both sat there in their chairs. I got my baby sister and sat her on my mother lap and i sat on my dads lap and i said. " mom,dad. I am fedup with hearing you fight all the time. can you talk. like adults. and they did. it works. you have to tell them from your heart how you really feel. and they will feel your sadness too.
I hope that it works for you.
Tell them that Christmas is for family to be happy as long as you are all together.
best of luck!
2007-12-19 13:08:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋