How do you build confidence?

Question

I don't know but mabye i'm a moron for asking this but how do overcome being in a situation where you continously put yourself down. I've been going through a stage in my life where i feel like i'm just not good enough for ANYTHING. Why do i feel this way, the inadequacy has hit home and i can longer focus on important things anymore. I can't even enjoy simplist endeavors like conversing with my fellow post-secondary classmates.What the hell is wrong with me, do i need councelling?

Answer 1

I mainly work with adults, but if you are still in a school setting (middle school, high school, or college). I suggest speaking with your school counselor. They are a excellent source of information, suggestions, and encouragement. Also, if you are in the teen ages (12-20), I will speak from work / personal experience and knowledge, during these ages we are very vulnerable to low self esteem, we commonly think we are the center of attention. For example, I remember walking down the halls of school thinking everyone was staring at my shirt (often that is not the case). :)

-Norman

Answer 2

According to my understanding after reading Maslow is you need to get your simple stuff done to your satisfaction because they are the potent detracters from the higher virtues.

'Maslow postulated that needs are arranged in a hierarchy in terms of their potency. Although all needs are instinctive, some are more powerful than others. The lower the need is in the pyramid, the more powerful it is. The higher the need is in the pyramid, the weaker and more distinctly human it is. The lower, or basic, needs on the pyramid are similar to those possessed by non-human animals, but only humans possess the higher needs.

The first four layers of the pyramid are what Maslow called "deficiency needs" or "D-needs:" the individual does not feel anything if they are met, but feels anxious if they are not met..... Needs beyond the D-needs are "growth needs," "being values," or "B-needs." When fulfilled, they do not go away; rather, they motivate further.

The base of the pyramid is formed by the physiological needs, including the biological requirements for food, water, air, and sleep.

Once the physiological needs are met, an individual can concentrate on the second level, the need for safety and security. Included here are the needs for structure, order, security, and predictability.

The third level is the need for love and belonging. Included here are the needs for friends and companions, a supportive family, identification with a group, and an intimate relationship.

The fourth level is the esteem needs. This group of needs requires both recognition from other people that results in feelings of prestige, acceptance, and status, and self-esteem that results in feelings of adequacy, competence, and confidence. Lack of satisfaction of the esteem needs results in discouragement and feelings of inferiority.

Finally, self-actualization sits at the apex of the original pyramid.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow

Before you work on your esteem needs you need to relax and get the other stuff put into a nice routine, like comfortable.

Answer 3

Children get self confidence by way of positive
feedback from the people around then, mainly
their parents. Mature adults get self confidence
from knowing that they are competent. In other
words, the source is external for children and
internal for mature adults.
You are making the transition from childhood
to adulthood. You are becoming aware of how
complex and challenging the world is. You have
become aware that your competence is not yet
up to the task of dealing with the life ahead of you.

I have two bits of advice that should help:
1) Understand the cause of your feelings
and do not expect too much of yourself.
You have lots of time to grow and overcome
problems.
2) Strive to be competent. If there is a
subject in school that you could become
really good at, throw yourself into it.
Be the class star. If you are good at sports,
strive to be the best. From knowing that you
are really good at something will come self
confidence.

Answer 4

I am 15. I know how you feel. I went through a stage of this, but I am getting better now.

If you can find someone to talk to, it will make all the difference. If you have difficulty confiding in people like I did, start keeping a journal. Track your moods and thoughts in it. I know it sounds cheesy, but that does help. And after a while, go back and read your older entries. Think about things like "Did I make that situation any easier for me?" "How can I handle that better next time?". Put these sorts of thoughts and positive thoughts into practice.... You'll get there!

Best of luck :)

Answer 5

Well first go and see a doctor.Your maybe starting a little depression that's why i tell you to see your doctor.And be positive and don't stress yourself that's not good aether,take one day at a time and stay with positive people cause negative people will take lots of your energy,that's what happen to me,i am trying slowly to change negative to positive.

Answer 6

don't set your expectations so high maybe?
just enjoy life and whatever the outcome, just take it and have fun with it

Answer 7

dont take life so seriously
and look at your self in that mirror smile and tell your self your are your own god

Answer 8

set your goals and treasure your achievements. also, keep in mind that experience is the best teacher.

Answer 9

I suggest you get counseling.


P.S. you look good so stop worrying about it =)