I'm getting my kids nothing for christmas?

Question

my kids aged 11 and 13 CONSTANTLY fight and argue with each other, they give attitude when asked to do the simplest of chores, my daughter does not turn her assignments in on time at school, my son disrespects all authority, even as I am typing this they are screaming at each other, the screaming almost always turns to physical aggression that I have to intervene in, at this point, I have told them that the only things they will get for christmas is new socks and underwear, and a new outfit to wear christmas day, has anyone else ever taken such severe action towards their children, and if so, what affect did it have.

okay, for all of you who are convinced we live in a violent household and taught our children to be aggressive, I should have stated that our son, the 13 year old has alot of issues, ocd, adhd, bi-polar, and alot of times acts out aggressively, he's been in the special ed. program since he was 3, I know it's not all his fault, but alot of times, his anger management/behavioral problems affects the entire family, please, unless you've walked a mile in my moccassins, don't pass judgement on us, we love our children, and are doing the best we can with the hand we've been dealt.

Answer 1

thats reasonable. or maybe you SHOULD buy them something and tell them that their not going to get it until they behave.

Answer 2

I have 2 things to say and I hope you take note.

First off.... Tell them that if they continue to be like that you will take 1 items away from them for a week. If they then continue hold it for another week. Then if that keeps going take it fora month. Than a year. Tell them that they can NOT earn that item back no matter what because of there actions. If that doesnt help than take another one. Items such as game systems laptops, cells phone etc.. Like I said keep your word. If you say a week its 7 days not earlier not later. That should be very effective. If they cry or get mad about it take another item. If they continue to get mad about it take another. Take items until they know whats right and wrong.

Now for the No-Christmas gift. I find that sad. Christmas comes once a year. Every year everyone get excited that Christmas morning. You see gifts under the tree its a great feeling. I think you should get them what they want. If they don't show they are worthy of it simply take it away. Give them a break. I know they deserve a bit more. Its very cruel to do that and it seems that you are trying to same yourself big bucks for there actions. I think if they saw that under the tree it would be shocking. I mean come on! Something you wait 365 days for. Give them what they want.

I hope you consider these options. Trust me it will be very effective and you will see a change within months. And please give them gifts. Its Christmas. You have to forget peoples mistakes and move on. Its time to be happy

Hope this helps spent some time writing it,
Sillyup100

Thanks!

Answer 3

I feel horrible for you. As a retired Social Worker, I have seen children that have had these types of health issues. What your son needs is a good structure in a setting in which he will flourish and succeed. He needs all the intervention he can get with the help from a behavior specialist, his dietician, his physical therapist. I would recommend that you restart your networking with a good team that works with each other and not against each other. Ask your pediatrician for the right network. I bet your dollar, you can change the out come to a positive one. And with -holding Christmas from them makes it much harder is not what you need to. It adds additional stress towards you as the parent. You need to be solid with your instructions, and stand your grounds. Your son and children need to know that you mean business. I would start making a board, with different color paper on them for each child. Put a whole day's routine on. Starting with 7:30 am getting up, til the last shore at night getting ready for bed. Try to follow with the help of your children going down the list, and see if this brings somewhat calm to your house hold. If the kids doe their chores right, praise them, give them a token. You can purchase tokens in a game store or Wal-Mart. Fill a jar for each child with it. when they see these tokens fill up the jar, let each child, deside what he/she would like to have. Like extra time on the TV, or extra time playing computer games etc. Get the hint? They need structure. Especially kids with ADHD and OCD. Also I believe in some behavioral therapy would not hurt. Good luck. You can email me anytime. worked with children in Head-Start. Know from experience! Hang in there!

Answer 4

Yes, I have.

What you might want to do is possibly seek advice from a teacher, councilor, fellow parent, or even a pastor or deacon of a church.

You also, not saying you are a bad parent, may want to catch up on some parenting books.
You could also research forums or documentations by psychiatrists or other child care professionals.

I won't sugar coat it! If you carry out with your punishment, which you should, there will be ridiculing actions by your children. Do not fret though! They will most likely gain more respect for you as time progresses.

Good Luck,
Only here to help

Answer 5

I would tell them that because they were so horrible that they are not getting anything but clothes for christmas. If family gives them gifts fine but that is all they get. But I would have bought them something and hid it somewhere maybe at a friends house and in a few WEEKS if they are acting better tell them they deserve it but that they better not think that this wont happen again and that you can do this every holiday birthday christmas easter all holidays.

Answer 6

heavily? there are a great style of varieties of circumstances that "does no longer have a Christmas" otherwise. I grew up very undesirable and generally have been given socks and panties from Santa and my (uncles and aunts) might deliver a doll or some form of toy. I never had a undesirable Christmas in spite of the shown fact that. yet what approximately babies that have not have been given great prolonged families? What approximately single mothers that truly make greater suitable than the daycare invoice and characteristic exhusbands who do no longer pay baby help? What approximately babies whose mom and dad particularly make sufficient to pay the charges? Or babies whose mom and dad do make sufficient funds, yet spend all of it on drugs. My artwork generally adopts some families each and each 12 months, and that they generally have a baby with particular desires. those are families who spend all of their funds on scientific costs for his or her baby and generally basically you will artwork simply by fact one confirm has to stay with the youngster in any respect circumstances. final 12 months we bought a splash female a particular wheelchair for Christmas simply by fact the kin did no longer have the potential to pay for to purchase a sparkling wheel chair and the youngster had outgrown her previous one and hadn't been able to "get around" for months. i in my view do no longer basically like the term "otherwise does no longer have a Christmas" simply by fact i've got self belief that many babies might desire to acquire little or no grants and nevertheless appreciate Christmas (like I did while i became a baby), yet there are severe subject concerns with poverty in u.s..

Answer 7

I don't think withholding xmas in itself is going to solve your problems, but it's not a bad place to start. They need to be on a more strict schedule with REAL consequences that you follow through on - consistently. (Don't say you're gonna do something & not follow through. So if you've told them they're getting nothing - give them nothing. Just don't go & give it all to them a week later.)

The day of my oldest son's 6th b-day party, my kids totally trashed my house while I was in the shower (cocoa puffs covered my living room). I cancelled his party and did not reschedule. My son has never forgotten, and neither have all the kids who were invited. (Their parents like to remind them.)

Answer 8

My aunt did this once.
Her kids didn't believe her.
Then when they actually did get nothing for Christmas, they were like "wow...we really ARE that bad??"
They got over it and turned into better people.
But they also had their parents videotape fights and anger "swings" and made them watch it when they were in a good mood.
They saw how nuts they were,and what they were doing to their family.

Answer 9

yes.
in fact, you did the right thing.
this will teach them the lesson about not fighting, etc..
and you can always use a pair of new socks and underwear!!
My mom always used to give me this for Christmas... I wasn't bad or anything, we were just from a poor family and that was all she could afford so I grew up not spoiled and this characteristc of my personality helps me in life right now.
So have them experience that... maybe they will elarn.. espeically th 11 yr old one
:)

Answer 10

I've never had such a severe action, but I think you're right to limit their christmas gifts to essentials. That way, the're not going without and it'll hopefully make them realize that you are the mother and in control. "Santa" doesn't deliver presents to 'bad' kids, and you're not obliged to either!

Answer 11

Wow, it is good you are been strict with them. Well, they will learn from their actions. At least you are buying them new socks, many children dont get nothing for Christmas.