is my midwife cold or are all first prenatal visits this impersonal?

Question

i was looking forward to my first prenatal visit at 10 weeks pregnant and was disappointed at how it turned out. my midwife was quick and impersonal. she checked my breasts, allowed me to hear the heart beat and asked whether i was taking prenatal vitamins. within minutes the visit was over. i felt that she didnt take the time to provide me information, this being my first pregnancy, nor did she ask me if i had any questions. i was wondering if this is normal, if this is standard procedure or whether i should look elsewhere where i feel comfortable. i was also considering the option of a doctor and wondering what others thought of midwife vs. doctor. thanks

Answer 1

I used an older Dr. who is alone in his practice. His wife is his nurse It was the BEST! I had seven miscarriages prior to the birth of this daughter. He and his wife quelled my crazy's and were good people. I'd look for another provider.

Answer 2

Yes, it does sound like she was rather impersonal. Usually midwives are known for being more "warm" or involved then the typical doctor tends to be... but obviously this isn't always the case. It sounds as if you're still early in your pregnancy... so I would make it a point to try out another midwife to see if they mesh better with you. You could give it one more visit to see how she is with you. Bring a list of questions you have and see how the interaction goes. be respectful that she probably has many other patients... so don't take up TOO much of her time... but expect to have your questions answered.

It's important that you feel comfortable with the medical care provider during your pregnancy. It will make the whole process more enjoyable for you. You should not feel rushed or treated like just another "patient". There should be a mutual respect.

I spent my whole pregnancy with a doctor who made me feel the same way (rushed and uncomfortable). I was stressed a lot because I worried how he would be during my delivery (if he would really listen to and care about my birthing plan, etc.) and I had to get a lot of my answers elsewhere because I always felt rushed and uncomfortable.

If I ever get pregnant again I will definitely take the time to find someone who I am comfortable with... since I am PAYING them ... so I realize I can hire and fire and expect proper care. You should realize that to.

All the best! Congrats on your pregnancy!

Answer 3

Look elsewhere. Choosing a midwife should involve you being completely comfortable. She should be caring and considerate, and take as much time as you need to explain things and put you at ease. Keep looking, this isn't the right one if she didn't do those things. Having a midwife is all about being comfortable and supported during your pregnancy and when you give birth. Don't settle for less than you were hoping for, or why bother having one? Any doctor can be impersonal, a midwife should be special

Answer 4

The Midwife may be pushed to see so many patients per hour (compliments of the administrator's policies). In her defense, she may have had another appointment that was an emergency or had to go off to a delivery.

I would recommend trying one more time and bring a list of questions with you. When she comes in, ask her to give you some time to ask some questions at the end. If she is not willing to take that time without a valid explanation, I would find a different midwife. Believe it or not, 10 minutes with a patient is considered a long visit in many clinics (because a practitioner can only see 5 or 6 people per hour)

I've had an Ob/Gyn for my first delivery and a Midwife for my 2nd. I'd go with a midwife over an Ob/Gyn any day. My midwife allowed me to be in control of the delivery where the Ob/Gyn did not.

Answer 5

Hi, my friend is pregnant and she said her midwife was like that too. However, she also said that her midwife had to see something like 30 women that day. Could be your midwife is the same - just ridiculously busy and not able to give you the time you deserve. That having been said, I think you have a right to reasonable care, which includes asking you if there is anything you are concerned about.I doubt whether you will get much more time from your doctor, probably less! Better to sign up for NCTclasses?

All the best with your pregnancy!

Answer 6

I clicked on your question earlier but my son is in corpsman school and was on the phone -- sorry for the late response....I have had two -- both are men now. BUT here's what I worry about -- midwives are NOT doctors and especially being your first baby, why would you choose a MW over a doctor? I'm just curious....with something as precious as my child, I would not trust ANYONE else....sure, I COULD deliver a baby but I can't handle and emergency. You have no idea how many things can go wrong in delivery -- reason WAY BACK IN "THE DAY" -- a lot of newborns and mothers died in childbirth. I would NEVER advise anything else. Do you know that you could have a "diabetic pregnancy?" (VERY COMMON - even if you are not a diabetic)!! I did - I would not have known had I not had a doctor and my son would have 1) been mentally retarded; or 2) died.....and I'm not a diabetic - never have been and my baby is now 19.

Answer 7

If I were you I would go with my gut. IMO you should feel comfortable with every aspect of your visit. This is a person you are going to be asking for medical advice and trusting with the health and life of you and your baby. So if I were you I would either speak with this midwife about your concerns, perhaps there was a reason she acted so abrupt that day or just nicely let her know you will be going somewhere else for your prenatal care.
Good Luck and Congrats. PS..I was just blessed with 2 grandchildren via a midwife and I think it was a wonderful choice on their part. The pregnancies and deliveries were great. (one ended up being c-sec by the doc and other natural by midwife). Go with what YOU are comfortable with and get references!

Answer 8

Well I've never had a midwife before, but my understanding was that the benefit of a midwife was the one on one time you get with them. I thought most people built relationships with their midwives. My doctor is more personal than that. He schedules his appointments far enough apart so he can take time to sit down and talk with you about any concerns you may have. (Then again my doctor is the best in town. He's got such a gentle nature. I couldn't even feel when he gave me my pap) If she is too busy to spend that time with you it might be more worth your while to go to a doctor who has been through a little bit more training. Not saying a midwife isn't fully qualified. I know they are. I'm just saying that if she is going to treat you like you are in a doctor's office, you might as well be in one. I'd suggest that you ask around and see who people prefer. If it happens to be a doc then go to that doc. If it happens to be another midwife, go to her. Best places to ask besides peers are hospitals and health departments. I got the recomendation from my health department and I'm very pleased. I've never met a man who is so in tune with what a woman needs during pregnancy. Word of mouth is the best way to find a good doctor. Good luck!

Answer 9

I would consider switching. This is my first pregnancy and Im 39 weeks today. My doctor seems to be the same way you are explaining that your midwife is. She is always very quick in and out 5 minutes top. She hasn't checked to see if Im dialated or anything yet. Im due next Thursday. It is quite stressful, so if I was you since your still early enough into your pregnancy find someone else, It will make you a lot happier, Im sure!!!

Answer 10

Midwives are merely well being care works that furnish look after pregnant women human beings. each and every so often they do homebirths, on the request of the mummy, yet not constantly. I actual have a midwife, a nurse practitioner, and a doctor that I see at my health center. I met them each and each of the 1st flow to, and then I see frequently the nurse and midwife for in many situations used appoints. The well being care expert and midwife will the two be there for transport, however the midwife would be in the time of the entire exertions technique. She is greater of a time-honored potential of help in the time of the entire being pregnant. Your concern must be completely distinctive although, so do not problem approximately it and merely ask at your appointment. Make a itemizing of inquiries to invite now so which you do not ignore something once you're there.

Answer 11

It sounds like you got a dud for a midwife. Especially since this is your first. You need to be made to feel special and tended to. I had my first two with male Doctors and it turned out that they were absolutely the best! They took their time, answered all questions and really seemed like they cared. I don't think it matters between a midwife or Doc. Depends on the person. It's not to late to switch to someone else. Congratulations, by the way!