He says that the only thing he lies about is smoking because he promised me that he would stop smoking, but he lies about other things too. I feel so betrayed. WHY DOES HE LIE TO ME????
2007-12-19 11:20:52 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Smokers who don't want to quit will lie left and right about quitting. You cannot force him to stop. He needs to want to quit to actually quit... people who are addicted to something won't quit because someone else told them to. So telling him to just quit and expect him to do it because of you is pretty silly and unrealistic.
I'm not sure what other things he's lying about, but it is indicative of poor communication in the relationship. He doesn't want to tell you things because you probably will be very upset and mad. Do you have a hot temper? Do you scold him and yell at him about things that, in the end of the day, aren't that big of a deal? The way to fix problems in a marriage is to fix them TOGETHER. Not for one person to command the other person to not do something.
Now, if he's lying about serious things like other women... you have bigger problems on your plate and they need to be addressed ASAP.
2007-12-19 11:43:00 · answer #1 · answered by Cochy 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He lies to you because he is a liar. People lie for various reasons and that's one you will have to figure out for yourself. I have a sister that has lied since she was a small child. I have no idea why then or why now. Usually what she is lying about isn't even important but once in a while it is about something important and I can't trust her to tell me the truth. You're in the same boat. You can't trust a liar about anything. So how much he lies about is your decision. Remember that you can't do anything about what someone else does, you can only control your own actions and how you react to bs. Lots of luck. It's hard to have a relationship with an untrustworthy person.
2007-12-20 14:50:49 · answer #2 · answered by towanda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be because he does not feel like you can accept the truth. People always say if you tell them the truth they will understand, but when you do they "throw a fit", but then don't understand why it is hard to talk to them. If you really are an understanding person, then maybe he is just afraid to disappoint you for some reason. The only way to really find the answer is to call him out on it, and get him to tell you. Pretending like you don't know he is lying about the other things will not make it go away.
2007-12-19 11:30:19 · answer #3 · answered by adrian s 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your entire situation, however from the info you provided, I would say because he knows it would hurt your feelings or stress you out if you knew the truth. Keep in mind that if he really values your feelings he wouldn't make promises that he can't keep. Another piece of advice is always go with your gut feelings. If there are issues with your sex life or level of intimacy and you feel he's cheating then there is a good chance that you are right.
At this point you should sit down with your husband and let him know exactly how he's making you feel but remember keep the tone of your voice down and talk not yell.
2007-12-19 11:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by Jaxi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it really depends ont he guy, could be because hes affraid of how u would take it that he hasnt stoped smoking. make sure he really wants to stop because he might be hiding it cuz he really doesnt. Also make sure to let him know that even if he does do it, u would rather know than not know and that it is worse that hes hiding the fact than actually doing it. tell him u'll work with him to finally stop and that u know its hard and takes some time. basically make sure he knows he can come back to you and tell you anything without you throwing a fit, but obviously there is an extent to which he can push that i mean u cant always let him off on anything.
2007-12-19 11:27:35 · answer #5 · answered by khalood_86 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, what else does he lie about? And you can't tell me you have NEVER lied to him. Haven't you ever said "nothing" when he has asked if something was wrong? That's a lie.
But we really can't answer your question about why he lies to you, if you don't tell us what he lies about.
2007-12-19 11:32:05 · answer #6 · answered by grim509 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He lies to you because he has no respect for you. If he loved you and respected you, there would be no need to lie. A successful marriage is built off of honesty, if he can't be honest with you.. then what keeps the marriage together?
2007-12-19 11:27:48 · answer #7 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This can happen a lot. My suggestions are to talk to him, person to person, and see what he says. If it never works out, I suggest you can just leave him if you feel so betrayed. Because betrayal isn't a very good feeling. :(
2007-12-19 11:27:29 · answer #8 · answered by jadeyjadey123 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
smoking is a hard thing to quit.. i now becasue i have tried several times.. stop nagging him about it.. express your deepest concerns about his health and then let it go he will quit when he is ready.. what other things ahs he been lying about.. you never know they could have stemmed fromt he same issue of not smoking for example.. I'm going to a mates place... when really he is just looking for an hour away from you so he can have a ciggie
2007-12-19 11:25:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
because for some reason if he tells you the truth you will probably go off on him...smoking? there could be alot worse things going on...
2007-12-19 11:24:36 · answer #10 · answered by loriloriloriloriv 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋