Psycologist?

Question

my dad died november 1st and i do not know how i can get through christmas

Answer 1

Yes see a PSYCHOLOGIST

Answer 2

I'm so sorry about your dad.

I think that the best thing to do is not to run away from the grief. It is going to be hard - that is natural and appropriate. If others in your family want to gloss it over, I would suggest seeking outside support - a support group, books on grief, or a therapist. It is critical to honor your process and the reality of what has happened. Don't bury it, and eventually you will begin to heal in a real way. Although it will never be "okay" that your dad died, the pain will eventually become less frequent, and eventually even less intense. Good luck.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad.

When my Grandmother passed away in 1997 December, all I seen at the table we are at was an empty chair. It's also still hard for me, I think I'm still greeving. Her Birthday is January 1st.

Answer 4

Know you are not alone in that reality of loss and that those that go before us are released from their burden. Peace. You shall get through Christmas with everyone. God bless us everyone.

Answer 5

Years ago my father died on Thanksgiving. Needless to say that first Christmas was something we (my mother, sister, brother and I) had to just kind of get through. Years later my mother died the day after Thanksgiving.

Don't think about Christmas right now (hard as that may be). Just do what you have to do to get to the day, and when it gets here try to kind of make your way through the day, doing what you can (exchange a few gifts maybe), but knowing that its ok to cry too. If there are things you and your family could change a little that would probably help just for this year.

If you've never had a special breakfast before try doing something like that. Change the kind of dinner you have - just for this year. It doesn't mean you can't go back to tradition later. If you can do something to make someone else's Christmas a little nicer do that kind of thing.

If you just kind of realize that you won't feel like celebrating, and that you shouldn't expect to be "all happy", it can help. If you can kind of get your mind into thinking, "This is a different kind of Christmas this year" but not "How can we have a happy Christmas" it can help because you know, going in, the day will be quieter and different, but there are ways to spend time with family, have some conversation and a few laughs (in spite of it all) and find ways to keep everyone's mind off the sad thoughts (as much as possible).

You probably won't get through the day without crying any more than you probably got through the wake without crying, but I'm guessing you had times then when you weren't crying and were kind of able to talk to people.

Christmas isn't going to be a happy affair for you this year, but remember that your father would hope you find some niceness for yourself and family members, even if you can't be cheerful.

Do your best to try to be a little cheerful-ish for your family members, and they should try to do the same for you.

This may sound difficult (and kind of awful), but try not to let yourself think about your father on that day, if at all possible. (Of course, you will, but try not to as much as possible.) The way I figured it when I was going through it, my parents would have wanted me to get through the day the best way I could. They would have understood if I had to try to get thoughts of each of them out of my head as much as possible, if that's what it took to get through the day.

I wish I had something to offer to make things easier for you, but the reality is the day will be a difficult one. Chances are, though, you'll be surprised to see how you can actually get through it "sort-of-ok-enough, for the most part".

If you and your family can just kind of "do the minimum" (enough to do a little something nice but don't expect yourselves to do "the whole, big, Christmas thing") it would probably help.

I recall only one thing about the Christmas after my father died (my mother handing me my gifts and me crying) and one thing after my mother died (the fact that even though I didn't put up lights in the windows I put one single white candle in the big living room window just to kind of acknowledge Christmas). You'll get through the day, and chances are years from now it will be a forgotten Christmas.

You'll get through it. My condolences on losing your father.