I got married about 7 months ago and my husband and I have been dating for about 7 years. We do very well, I think we have a good marriage. We both want children but when is about the only argument we have, I would like to have children now, I have been a nanny for 5 years and I am ready to take care of my own children and family. He wants to wait a few years, his excuse is he is too busy with school 1ST year MBA 1 ½ to go. My opinion is when he is done he is going to be busy with his new job, he also thinks we need to be finically stable, not possible. I think there is no perfect time and I am ready. I do not want to push him but I think really he is just scared.
2007-12-19 11:04:08 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we are twenty four and twenty five
2007-12-19 11:13:25 · update #1
I know the responsibility I have raised two children now 5 and 6 not my own, the whole nanny thing. I am fully aware of the fact that I may have to do the work on my own and I am ok with that.
2007-12-19 11:20:39 · update #2
YOur husband is thinking ahead, financially and educationally which is really good, maybe thinks that you can`t financially support the baby well enough, regardless of how well you two are doing now. It is really normal for a male to be scared of starting a family, it doesn`t ruin their life by having children but it will impact them massively. And if you are ready now, you will still be ready in 5 years time.
2007-12-19 11:18:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is true that there is never the right time or enough money. the question you should ask yourself is are you willing to take full responsibility of child care and while he is in school if he can't help you with the baby without resentment? Baby requires ALLOT and tough to do so on your own, all though not impossible. You guys should compromise on time maybe? Like get preggo 9 month before his planned graduation time? then you'll have two things to celebrate in your life.
Besides, you ARE young and have plenty of time. Use it to be selfish! I wanted a baby since I was 18, and boy am I glad I waited till I was 30. I love it, but I also love the fact that I got to do so many things I can't do right now and won't for the next 10 years.
2007-12-19 11:15:12 · answer #2 · answered by Kitten 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that there IS no "perfect" time; I agree with your husband that you guys still have time to play and get some things accomplished before jumping into being parents. There really isn't any fair way to make someone want children *right now*. If you believe that he's sincere in wanting a family, just not this second - give him time. Maybe you can discuss it and set some sort of a timeline that both of you can agree upon (say, start trying for a child in 2 years). This way there's a clear goal to be working towards; an expectation.
2007-12-19 11:20:53 · answer #3 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, best to compromise!
Tell him he makes a good point and you understand he might be scared. You want kids now and he wants them in 5 years, so make baby after he graduates in a year-and-a-half, which will them buy him another 9 months before kid is born, for a total of 3 years, EXCELLENT.
This is excellent test for for both of you to learn to compromise in best win-win for both as possible. It will be an exercise in patience for you as well. If he is good man, he will agree with a just compromise, maybe he needs to think about it for a little while (like less than a week) and that's ok.
Dear spend this time just the two of you and your own personal interests outside of kids. Cator to your soul with meditation or mantra, to your mind with a hobby or passion (or get some work experience if you're not already, please consider some humanitarian work to help less fortunate) and to your body going to yoga or dance class or to the gym and cooking great, preferably vegetarian meals. Or catch up on friends and great movies.
Make most with hubby now, from simple pleasures of jacuzzi and champagne to trips, etc.
When hubby is busy, money you earned and saved now, will help you not work, so you can be busy with baby, since hubby will be busy anyways with job. Seems you may have fear not having hubby around more when baby comes. Do you not live near parents and friends with kids?
Getting financially stable is excellent idea first!
That's right, do not push, find win-win compromise.
You'll be great mother, I know it!
2007-12-19 11:33:54 · answer #4 · answered by Lil Blousou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, realize there's no rush. If you are healthy and get plenty of exercise and eat right, you should be able to have children much later, like after he secures a job once finishing his MBA.
I agree with your logic of having the time while he's in school. My husband is going back to get his MBA next fall and that's when we're going to start trying for our first kid. We're in our mid-30's so time is of the essence for us. But I want him to do well in school, so we decided if the first year is looking too hard, then we'll postpone our babymaking. Getting an MBA is tough and for him to get a great job he needs to do well, so I can definitely see why your husband wouldn't want the distraction. You two need to find a compromise. I would suggest waiting until he graduates and gets a job.
2007-12-19 11:28:55 · answer #5 · answered by Peace 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not ready, you need to wait. If you get pregnant behind his back (stop using birth control, etc), you may be raising the child on your own.
2007-12-19 12:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by rlb1961 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Cat hates my husband?
2016-10-11 23:01:54 · answer #7 · answered by Gardie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do younger girls like me?
2017-03-24 00:31:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Allow him to graduate then get busy. Economically he is correct !
2007-12-19 11:10:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Woman at work like my husband? wwyd?
2015-11-30 06:20:13 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋