I want to have a baby, but my husband can't decide...?

Question

Before my husband & I got married 2 years ago (I'm 34 & he's 37) we both assumed we would have children.We got married, a few months later realized we both thought maybe we didn't really want kids. First year of marriage we both were consumed with the idea of not having children & told family & friends this. Everyone was supportive. Last xmas we visited my niece & nephew (6 & 4) who we're very close with & just had the most amazing time. After we returned I started having these odd feelings of doubt that my decision to not have kids was not the right one. I told my husband, because we promised we would tell each other if we changed our minds. He was a little freaked at first, but since has lightened up, but still thinks he may not want children. My feelings are getting stronger & I'm not sure what I should or should not be saying to him. I don't want to try to talk him into it, but I'm not getting any younger. CLOCK IS TICKING MORE & MORE..Any advice? He thinks it's hormones

Answer 1

get your husband to somehow spend more time around kids. thats what i had to to with my boyfriend. im only 23 so it might sound wierd getting advice from someone so young. for the longest time i said i didnt want kids. we have been living together now for a year and saving money to get married. my feeling changed after my brother and sister got married and now i have a niece and nephew. and my best friend has a son along with many of my other friends. when i tried talking to him he would seem kinda angry and either change the subject or talk about all his friends that are married and have kids and how they dont go out and have fun anymore. so for about the last 6 months i have my friends and family bring there kids over and i even volunteer to ababy sit on occasion. he actually started bringing the kid stuff up now. little by little he would say things like im naming it if its a boy or he will make comments about things on tv that he likes and dont likes related to kids. i finally came out and asked him when i could come off my birthcontrol and have a baby. so we set a date and now i wait lol... i would try bringing kids around more. let him toss a football in the back yard a few times and see how he acts..

Answer 2

This doesn't sound like an impossible situation at all. You both promised each other you would talk about it if either of you changed your mind! You're talking about it, that's good. At 34, you really don't have to get pregnant tomorrow, so relax and keep talking to your man! I know several couples who elected not to and they are too old now. They all have regrets about this. Babies are a lot of hard work, but they are worth every minute of it. You will both fall in love with your own child. It's not an easy decision.both need to be involved! Good Luck

Answer 3

I say you wait until those feeling have a chance to really think about how this will change your life in a MAJOR way. It is not all cute little bundles of joy, believe me, I have heard from my friends with kids they could murder their husbands who are of no help but expect them to be Playmate of the year every night.

If hubby is freaked, best to let him think more about this too. You NEVER want to get pregs when either party is not sure.

This is a one of the most important decisions you will make, next to a marriage partner, make it very carefully and wisely. You are still young, if you were 40, I'd say your time is getting very limited.

Answer 4

Wow that's tough. It took me and my bf a long time to conceive (like 7 years) and now I'm 33 and scared that this is going to be my only chance. I am totally elated that I"m finally having a child, but I always wanted a big family and I know I won't because of my age. And it makes me sad to think of it like that. I would say talk to him again and let him know of the risks in having kids at an older age. Would you ever consider adoption, saying he were to change his mind in a few years? I know that was something I was contemplating when I thought I wasn't going to be able to conceive.

Answer 5

ok its totally normal to feel as tho you want kids. its part of life and as you say your not getting any younger, thats correct. so nows the time to sit down with your husband and ask him once and for all. you need to tell him how you are feeling again and you have to just be honest and he should be able to at least listen to what you have to say about having children. you also have to remember tho, that if might tell you things you dont want to hear but you too can get through it together. good luck and i hope you do have a baby.

Answer 6

well i would just keep talking to him, telling him how much it is efecting you and it seems from what you said that you and him have a good relationship. so just keep on him little at a time ya dont want to over do it . and i would say in some cases maby just stop taking your birth controle and get pregnet and then there no other choice for him but to get used to the idiea but thats not the way o go on that but i wish ya the best, and good luck

Answer 7

Sit down and talk with him about how his life would change as a father. Discuss how exciting it would be to have a little child to teach things to, play with, and love! If your husband loves you, he is a good man and will surely love a baby! Also, pray about it. Your man will have a change of heart. God bless!

Answer 8

I know a lot of couples who regret not having children. If you do decide, than I would start soon. Age will catch up to you, and it will become harder and hard to get pregnant!!!

Good Luck!!!

Answer 9

i think u need to tell him that u need to sit down and talk
then sit down and have a heartfelt talk
and convey ur feelings with full emotion
just let him kno that it is ur dying wish to have children
and ask him to do this for u