My x girlfriend and I have a 8 month old son and another on the way. She recently filed for full custody even though she has him all the time. I asked her why she would do that even though she has him all the time and she said its for security. She never wants me to see him. I really believe she has some kind of motivation for doing this. Whats the reason a woman would want to do this even though she has him all the time anyway?Whats the benifits for her? She said she wasnt gonna go for child support at the time but things are changing about that right now. I think shes really trying to screw me. Any advice?
2007-12-19 09:56:24 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Full custody gives her control over his life. She doesn't have to consult you in deciding where to live, what daycare to put him into, what school, where he spends holidays, or in the event of illness, what medical care he will or will not receive. She can also say when and how often you can see him. Having full custody doesn't mean you are free from paying child support. It simply means she doesn't want you interfering in the child's life. If she has him all the time anyway, she probably doesn't consult you regarding him now, and it sounds like you don't even visit, so nothing is going to change as far as you are concerned. If you want a part in raising your kids, then I suggest you fight this with everything you have in you. Otherwise, you will just be a financial contributor.
2007-12-19 10:17:22 · answer #1 · answered by transplanted_fireweed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH so wrong she will still get child support child support is totally seperate from visitation and custody. The only way you don't have to pay child support is if she asks you to sign off from your parental rights and only then does child support stop.
The plus side for a woman to have full custody is she doesnt have to have your permission to do anything. She doesnt have to keep you updated about the child she can move when she wants do as she sees fit.
If you want to see your child go to court and fight this get a visitation schedule going. Otherwise you will pay child support for your child without being able to see him. You need to have a court ordered visitation agreement.
Do not for one second think if she gets full custody you won't have to pay child support because you will still have to pay.
And do not listen to people telling you to take the child and not take him back. Unless you have court papers giving you physical custody or some type of visitation. The last thing you need is a court battle on that will cost you more then fighting the full custody battle. Don't do that.
2007-12-19 18:04:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'am not sure but...I believe from experiences I have been through are 1. If you 2 are married, I believe you have just as much rights to the child as she does. I do believe that there is a chance she will have custody but, you also have rights to see your child. You must pay child support. Whoever has full custody than the other pays the support ( trust me if she thinks the support is going to give her extra money to shop she has another thing coming because it costs big to raise a child. I'am still somewhat raising mine and they are 25 and 29. Did it basically on my own for the past 11 yrs. No support. 2 full time jobs plus wherever I was able to cut coroners. She has a big suprise ahead of her. Parenthood does not stop at 18. At times it begins all over again at 18!!!!
2007-12-19 18:08:30 · answer #3 · answered by Sansue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice petition the court for shared custody. Most of the time shared custody has no child support arrangement. You pay for your part when you have him and she pays for her part when she has him. Most judges now a days are opting for shared custody especially if both parents live in the same town.
BTW Twiggy is right, there has to be some sort of legal documantation of custody. Here is what happens if you don't get that. J is married to S. S didn't want to move out of her parent's house to live with J, so J and S are seperated. It is not a legal seperation or anything like that legally they are still married. S decided when she had their child that he wouldn't be allowed to see the child in the hospital or anytime since. Since J and S have no custody arrangement, S can deny J to see their newborn daughter and there is nothing J can do about it. Yes J is a member of my family.
2007-12-19 18:02:19 · answer #4 · answered by christina h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the amount of Child support varies depending upon how much time the children spend with each parent. For example, let's say that, based on your respective incomes and her having full custody, the court order you to pay $500 per child each month. If you share custody and have the kids 20% of the time (every other weekend and one evening a week), that could go down to $350 per child per month. If you share custody evenly, it could go down to $50/month each.
These numbers are just for illustration purposes. You would need to check your state laws to find actual figures.
If she has full custody, you also have limited legal rights with regard to how the child is raised.
2007-12-19 20:35:06 · answer #5 · answered by rlb1961 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 boys and I am a mom. Me myself would not seek full custody for the simple fact they are not only mine they are my husbands as well. Sometimes it is a head game and she may be seeking full custody for security. All it gives her is a piece of paper that states pretty much you have to give the child back. Right now she has physical custody. If you wanted you could pick the child up and you dont have to give it back. Your best bet is to let her take you to court for full custody and protest it or pick the child up and gain physical custody where she will have to take you to court to even see the child
2007-12-19 18:02:26 · answer #6 · answered by jengoodwin05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is going for full custody it's probably because she is going after you for child support. Once she files custody papers the state will automatically go after the biological father.
You have the right to see your children and you to can go after custody. If she has full custody that means more child's support from you. If you have joint custody it's less.
2007-12-19 18:02:59 · answer #7 · answered by ffjdawg74 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are paying support-as you should then you should petition for joint custody with physical custody being with her since she has the children all the time-full custody gives her the upper hand-joint means your interests are considered and you should be paying support -it only makes you look bad in the eyes of the court if you aren't. You are also entitiled to visitation on a regular basis provided you have a decent environment for that visitation and you are responsible and not on drugs or alcohol-good luck-get yourself a lawyer asap
2007-12-19 18:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, hire a good attorney, it's against the law for her to keep you from your children. That's why she wants full custody, she thinks she will have more control. Ask for shared custody, there may not be child support paid and if so it will be lower. It will guarantee you a life with your children!!
2007-12-19 18:01:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There needs to be a legal agreement about who has the kids. Joint custody or full custody or whatever. And if she has full custody you may be obligated to make child support payments, but you would be willing to do this right because they are your kids right? Right?
2007-12-19 18:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by Twiggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋