It seems to me that the spouse that is with-holding sex is creating the potential for their spouse to look else where.
It seems only logical that eventually the neglected spouse would look else where.
So by causing the problem does the same spouse deserve the outcome?
2007-12-19 09:44:42 · 26 answers · asked by snack_daddy10 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Interesting that people always try to "justify" the actions of the spouse withholding sex.
If a person speeds they deserve a ticket. If they do something bad then they deserve something bad in return, kind of like karma.
Regardless of what answers I get from you people I do think a good chunk of people cause their own problems in their marriage and "sex withholders" are idiots for not seeing coming.
2007-12-19 09:56:50 · update #1
It's complicated. You married because you loved each other and there was presumably a certain expectation about sex. It's not okay to ask someone to be sexually faithful and withhold sex completely.
But that doesn't mean that if your wife isn't in the mood one day that you get to cheat. If the sex is really infrequent or non-existent you should talk to your spouse about it ask if there is something bothering them that is preventing them from being in the mood. If they claim that there isn't, calmly explain that there is a limit to how long you can be expected to go without sex.
2007-12-19 09:51:29 · answer #1 · answered by Lemon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Two people in love don't withhold sex. I would say that if your spouse is withholding sex, it's probably as much your problem as it is his/hers. No one deserves to be cheated on, so no, cheating isn't the answer to a marital problem. And that's exactly what you have: a deeper problem than withholding sex. If you can't get to the root of it by discussing it with each other, and if you can't agree to going for counseling, then one of you doesn't want the marriage to continue....and there you have the problem out in the open. In that case, give the dissatisfied spouse the freedom he/she really wants, and get on with your life.
2007-12-19 10:04:31 · answer #2 · answered by transplanted_fireweed 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to say they "deserve" it either way, but in my opinion, cheating is absolutely inexcusable, no matter the circumstance. It's really easy to get "caught up" in the moment, and stray, but if you're truly devoted to your resolve, there's no excuse to cheat. It happens VERY often, and there are ALWAYS excuses, but I don't think it's an answer and/or a resolution to anything.
It's on the other spouse that strays to ACT on the the desire for sex with someone else if the other is withholding sex. There are other ways to resolve the need for sex, even if it means divorce from the one who's withholding sex.
Yeah, it's natural to look elsewhere. We all want to feel wanted, needed, and sexy. But that doesn't mean we break the promise we made to each other just for sexual needs/wants. This is where the phrase: "Marriage is work" comes from.
And, if you don't believe in divorce, you shouldn't believe in adultery either. Know what I mean?
2007-12-19 09:59:02 · answer #3 · answered by Impavidsoul 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think a spouse could use that as and poor excuse for cheating, but there is a root cause to the with-holding of sex. All marriages face there difficult times, I'd suggest some very open and honest conversations about what lead up to the "with-holding" ...there are probably things on both sides that need to discussed and heard. Maybe counseling or maybe its time to move on, but you will only know that once you get to the real issues. Cheating will only compounding and blurry things.
2007-12-19 10:00:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO spouse deserves to be cheated on--but trying to talk out the problem would be the mature thing to do. Withholding sex is very childish if done by either sex
2007-12-19 09:54:24 · answer #5 · answered by wildirishrose19522000 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No one ever "deserves" to be cheated on. But a person preventing sex does create an opportunity for a weak willed individual.
2007-12-19 09:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No person deserves to be cheated on for ANY reason! You try to work it out with your spouse and if after exhausting all possible methods of rectifying the situation and if you're not really in love (and it is my opinion that if you cheat you do not REALLY GENUINELY love your spouse) you divorce. In the meantime, you masturbate.
2007-12-19 09:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by Marina 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No she deserves a divorce before she deserves to be cheated on...
If your wife doesn't have any justifications for withholding sex from you...get counseling...and if that doesn't work...get divorced.....If you can't remain happy and satisfied in your marriage.....why stay married to a woman who withholds sex?
2007-12-19 09:49:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
"withholding" as in with a motive of some sort? Or do you mean spouse is just no longer interested? There is a huge difference. And no, you are not entitled unless you separate and make it an honest thing.
2007-12-19 09:48:17 · answer #9 · answered by Twiggy 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
It depend on what you have been doing if anything. My spouse starting using drugs and drinking and I was scared to sleep with him anymore. He was hanging out without me around for 3 or 4 days, come back home and I did not want to sleep with him. Of course months later he left and got his own apartment and left me with no money because he now wants to sleep around. So search yourself and see if you have done something that might have caused this and try to fix it if you care enough.
2007-12-19 13:25:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋