Do you realise how self centered we are?

Question

We kind of secretly execute self centeredness even when we help people.

YOU help people so YOU don't feel bad. You care, but the main reason YOU help them is so YOU don't feel bad if you didn't.

Did you realise this? I was thinking about it and dawned on me..what's your perspective?

Answer 1

Hey!

Yeah, I figured that out when I was thirteen. See, I am EXTREMELY empathetic, and I actually feel what other people are feeling. If someone is crying, I freak out because it makes me feel sad and guilty. SO I try to fix it. But only because I'm feeling the same pain they are.

Humans are selfish by nature. It is part of how we are. There are some unselfish things that humanity does(i.e. a man running out in front of a moving vehicle to save a child. He's killing himself to save someone he doesn't know, doesn't care about, and whose pain he does not feel, and, plus, he has no time to think of the guilt he may feel afterwards), but that is a true rarity. And, quite frankly, no one knows how they'd act in such a situation unless they happen to find themselves in one. We'd all like to think we'd be the kind soul to run out in front of the semi to grab the three year old, but very few people actually would.

So, yeah, humanity is extremely self-centered. But don't underestimate the power of empathy. There are plenty of people who do not get affected when they see someone crying. They just shrug and say its none of their business. So, self-centered or not, it's still a good part of anyone's character.

Luv ya,
Tashi :)

P.S. When I speak of empathy, I'm not talking psychic. I'm just talking about the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

Answer 2

Ah... but here's the rub: IF you are so self-centered, WHY do you feel bad if you don't help someone? Or feel good if you do? A truly and completely self-centered person wouldn't give a fig about other people. Other people aren't yourself.

Yes, most socially conscious people do get the feelings you describe. This doesn't negate the fact that what they are doing is helping other people! There are, after all, LOTS of ways for us to feel good or bad. The fact that we choose one over another says something, no?

Even supposing that every act is at least a little selfish, there are certainly some that are MORE selfish than others, right? Or are you suggesting that the term 'selfish' has no meaning whatsoever since it can and must be equally applied to all things?

Answer 3

Yes actually we are totally mega selfish.

Yes you can help people because you enjoy helping. Anyway that doesn't make it wrong. It is ok to enjoy something.
Our morals make us help others, to make ourselve feel good.

Yes so we do it for ourselves in a way, but meanwhile we do help others.
It isn't neccesarely all bad this 'self centered mechanism' ... helping others is a win-win situation, you help the other, and you help yourself at the same time :-)

Answer 4

Street Ryda - The Roman philosopher, Epictetus, stated almost 2,000 years ago that "No matter how it appears, everyone does what they do for their own selfish reasons."

Tony Robbins in his book, Unlimited Power, updated this concept to: People do things for one of two reasons: 1) it makes them feel good or 2) to avoid pain.

Everyone is self centered

Answer 5

You are 100% right..

WE are selfish self centered creatures and we are so ingrained with it that its probley just something we are passing down to our offspring..

Does it truly bother you so much that we are?

I embrace the fact that I am selfish! I love it!

Answer 6

Socrates said "know thyself."

There is also a Spiritual practice called "centering." So it seems that there might be a reason for the phenomenon you are speaking about.

This reference is just to show that it might not be all bad.

This resource is all about this kind of search for who we are... and how to go about finding our True Self.

Great Question.. Thanks.

Answer 7

Everything in the interest of self-interest. You can argue that everything is done for some self-motivation or interest.

Answer 8

I understand what you are saying, and generally its true, but there are definitely exceptions to that. What about people that lay their lives down for others? What payoff is there for that seemingly selfless act? none because they are dead! True selflessness, while rare, is possible.

Answer 9

Actually, yes, man is self centered. Only when God comes into the picture can he be anything better. . .

Answer 10

I am one of the most cold hearted people you will ever meet. If I do someone some "good", it is because I felt like it, not because I felt "guilty" about not doing something.