my bf of 3 years just told me when he was 18 his mom told him his real father is his grandpa! so his mom slept with her dad and had him! this is so gross to me, what kind of dna problems does that cause? and what about kids? that would be wrong for him to have kids? its just messed up to me...can someone give me more info??
2007-12-19 08:29:33 · 15 answers · asked by lovemyparadise07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you are thinking marriage seek counselling (as this seems to be troubling you) and DNA tests.
If it is a relationship that is not going to end in marriage then just get on with enjoying your boyfriend and don't worry about it.
2007-12-19 08:41:15 · answer #1 · answered by *:·.♥.·Dellta¨*:·.♥ 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
First of all, do Not let it change the way you feel about your boyfriend. He must trust and love you a LOT to tell you this :0)
Now, was his mother molested? If she was young and was forced into this (most likely the case) then she should not be blamed either.
I would definitely avoid being around the father/grandfather but see if he would be open to therapy. Talk to your bofriend about this.
A dr should be able to tell you about the effects this could have on any future children.
Most definitely I would either keep children away from the father/grandfather or make sure that he is NEVER alone with any EVER!
Whatever you do, do not let this change the way that you feel about your boyfriend. It may be freaking you out right now but this was actually a positive step as it shows his commitment to you and gives you the opportunity for this to either deepen your love or drive you apart. It is your decision.
Just remember: he is NOT responsible for the circumstances surrounding his conception so do not blame him for something over which he had no control.
If you believe in God, pray for guidance, understanding and the wisdom to do (and say) the right things
Good Luck! :0)
2007-12-19 17:01:25 · answer #2 · answered by WHITETIGER 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would agree to go see a DNA testing, just incase they can find something that may have gone wrong genetically, that would effect children with this man.
I'm guessing there's nothing wrong with him. Since he did not even know about this until years later. It is possible to have no problems genetically when incest has occured.
On another plus side, you and him have totally different gene's so your chances are pretty good that things wil be fine between you both.
Still he may need help understanding and coping with what he has found out.
And the grandfather if he is still alive should be thrown in jail, or shoot. His poor daugther, and your bf......all the pain this man has caused!
2007-12-19 16:48:41 · answer #3 · answered by Kellyn25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suspect that for your BF to be at risk for in-breeding problems that there would need to be a longer lineage of inbreeding. I don't know for sure. I would think (not know) that the first concern would be how your BF feels deep down inside, how he's affected by this knowledge...so many questions and feelings tied to this. Wow...
I would start asking his relatives about medical history, ie, twins, MS, heart disease, and other things that run in the family. My strong feeling is that there are more emotional, than fertility/offspring, issues here. What's amazing is that grandpa is still alive, I'm suprised someone hasn't shot his dic* off by now!
All the best in your search for answers and peace...
2007-12-19 16:41:43 · answer #4 · answered by LOVEISTHEANSWER 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His mom was probably raped by her own father dear. Until you have known a close person most don't understand!
It shouldn't cause any dna problems unless he decides to have a kid with his MOM!
Get over it, give him a break, and if your grossed out over it, do him a favor and let him have a careing understanding GF!
2007-12-19 16:51:39 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Creepy. I assume your boyfriend has all his fingers and toes? Incest is one of the most powerful taboos in ALL societies, for good reason. I can't believe that she even told anyone. Anyway, you should always get genetic screening done on any fetus from your BF or any other male for that matter. This sounds too soap opera like for me to believe. I really wonder if this is true, or for some reason his mom told him a huge lie.
2007-12-19 16:51:23 · answer #6 · answered by IplayadoconTV 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds sick but remember it isn't his fault and probably not his mothers either! The real question is genetics! If you are serious with him and want marriage out of it, you both should go see a geneticist. He will be able to tell you the risk! If it isn't serious enough, then get out of it as I can see this potentially being a problem to you when he touches you! It is in the back of your ind!
2007-12-20 00:05:06 · answer #7 · answered by james h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both agree that kids are in you guys' future, you can go to a genetic counselor, who can test DNA and see if there is the chance for any problems down the line.
2007-12-19 16:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by duncanhines1920 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, (and perhaps I'm shallow) I'd run away from this situation. I know every family has problems, but this is quite large and influential. I would not want to deal with this.
If this stuff happens in their family, I would not want to be exposed to those type of people. How does the rest of the family act. Also, I would not want to have kids with him. I would not want that type of history in my kids background.
2007-12-19 16:55:03 · answer #9 · answered by J'adore 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow that would be quite the bombshell to find that out. I would absolutely suggest genetic counselling to make sure if you have kids in the future there would be no problem.
2007-12-19 16:52:31 · answer #10 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋