2007-12-19 08:27:44 · 26 answers · asked by oldbabe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sorry for your loss. I know it's difficult. I lost my 18 year old daughter in April this year.
It seems all of the "firsts" are really difficult.
My suggestions are to find "like minded" people to help you through this difficult time. I have supporters that have endured the same loss at one point in their lives that help me during this time. I can call them anytime..........day or night and they'll be there.
Pray, pray, and pray some more...........I was doing fairly well until the "emotional" season hit. God gave His son so He understands. Speak to God, He'll listen.
Wishing you well throughout this time of grief and I'll pray you heal soon.
God Bless
2007-12-19 08:37:55 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very, very sorry for your loss. It has't been such a long time since he died. You have to take it one day at a time, sometimes even just one minute at a time. There is no set schedule. Coming to terms with such a major loss is different for everyone. Grief is a personal thing, there is no right or wrong. Don't ever let anyone tell you what you should be feeling and when you should be feeling it. But little by little you feel better. And one day you'll realize it doesn't hurt to think about him as much. And then you'll be on your way. In the meantime, lean on the support of your family and friends. If you can find one, a grief support group can be a very helpful resource. It helps to talk to people that have been where you are. Hospice groups can be wonderful support systems and you can find them in your phone book or through a local church or hospital. Take care of yourself. Good luck to you.
2007-12-19 08:46:21 · answer #2 · answered by shadowdog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are or how long you were married. The longer you spend with someone the more difficult it is to get over. It makes sense because you have more memories. It is easy to give advise. Tell you that you control your feelings. So you can turn them on and off when ever you choose. it isn't that easy. You are experiencing the most extreme feelings of loss. Your life won't be the same. But then even if he were still alive, there would be change. He will live on in your heart forever. The memories that you carry are yours alone. You know that he would want you to live your life. Enjoy and embrace it. Life is a gift that we so often take for granted. His ended too soon. We never know when loss will occur. When it does, we are never ready for it. Believe in your heart that he will always be with you, and he wants happiness for you.
2007-12-19 08:52:12 · answer #3 · answered by Tetonka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is an awful thing to deal with and it hasn't been that long so you need to give yourself time to heal. The feeling will go away in time but you also need to make it happen as well and not let the loss consume all your thoughts. Try a support group which would at least allow you to talk to other people who have gone through the same thing. Maybe they can offer you some good advice on how they manage to cope.
2007-12-19 08:40:03 · answer #4 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take more time. The first holiday season is the worst. It does get easier. Support from family and friends can make a big difference. Also some personal counseling will help. I'd recommend a book called Rebuilding, When Your Relationship Ends by Dr Bruce Fisher. It outlines the stages we go through and helps you see where you are at.
2007-12-19 08:31:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband died 2 years ago December 16. It is a hard thing to deal with. I was only 29 years old with 2 children. After 2 years I still think of him. You know like little things, songs he used to sing to us, movies he used to watch.... But it will eventually get easier as time goes by. Good luck to you and hang in there. You might want to try a counseling group for widow's. They also help alot.
2007-12-19 09:10:48 · answer #6 · answered by wolf lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must have been in love very much with your late husband. However, you need to accept his death and start looking ahead to the future. This feeling will not go away over night, but if you meet someone down the road that could give you joy again, then life will be smiling at you again.
2007-12-19 08:33:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hasn't been a year yet.....give yourself some time and Your in the grieving process.....and it takes time.....Been There....
I am sorry for your loss, My husband died 5 years ago and it's still hard and I have my days where I cry.....it really will never go away but the feelings will not be so heavy.
This is your first Christmas without him so please be nice to yourself.....
2007-12-19 08:41:25 · answer #8 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny, the loss of a companion takes time July was only 5 months ago. I am truly sorry for your loss. I know my mom had it bad for a long time my father has been gone 8 years. But you need support, friends family, church group. Good Luck
2007-12-19 08:34:46 · answer #9 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry to hear about your loss. In general there are 5 stages to grief, Shock, Sadness, Anger, Bargaining (e.g.If i had/hadnt done this, it wouldnt have happened), and Acceptance. People tend to feel these not necessarily in order and can go back and forth between them, but in the end there usually is Acceptance. In general, people tend to feel somewhat depressed for one year, but, in the end there is acceptance. That doesnt mean you wont miss him, but just that youve accepted that that they have died. Its very individual, so its hard to say, but yes, your feelings will change over time. take care of yourself and surround yourself with people that love you.
2007-12-19 09:04:36 · answer #10 · answered by minerva 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋