His ex has issuses. She demands things one and and then backs out on them the next. His mom and her decided since the youngest child is sick that she(the grandma, his mother) would staya t home today and watch him. This is fine but there was no phone call to let us know that these were being planned on. Now the ex is saying he can't have the boys on CHristmas eve, even though this is what was arragned prior to the divorce.
2007-12-19 08:27:00 · 9 answers · asked by Amanda M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to step out of this. You are not married to the man. He is the only one that should be fielding any issues between his ex, his mother and his kids. His mother is the kids grandmother and she has every right to maintain whatever type of relationship she wants with the ex in order to spend time with her grandchildren. And you have no say whatsoever.
2007-12-19 08:49:22 · answer #1 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some ex's play games. Just ignore them. As for the grandmother, you cannot stop her from being part of the ex's life.
Unfortunately, I know because I am an ex. I remember one Christmas, grandma got sick and called me to cook dinner for the family. Well my exhusband and his new wife is who I ended up cooking for. I have been divorced over 11 years now, I am always invited and included in the families Christmas. There were other holiday's that I was invited to as well.
I have moved on, but now my husband and I go to the same family outtings with my ex.....Sounds strange, but we do it for the children anyway.
Grandma always says, you divorced her, but I didn't. And that is the way it is. Just find a way to suck it up and do it for the children.
2007-12-19 08:47:53 · answer #2 · answered by blueeyes_unever_4get 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all there is no "we" to do anything about it. Who the hell are you to tell this lady no to be close to her daughter in law?
Divorced or not get use to the fact that your JUST a girlfriend She IS and ALWAYS will be family. In case it slipped your simple little mind she is the MOTHER of her grandchildren. You need to sit back and mind your business none of what you said has anything to do with you. YOUR THE ONE WITH ISSUES seeing as how you don't already know this. Grow up and get some business of your own to run interference on.
2007-12-19 08:52:35 · answer #3 · answered by THIC007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These are things that the two parents need to get together on and decide. Even though you are a part of his life now she still is the mother of the children and they will have to get along. At times this may seem difficult, but as the gf, you don't have a say and just need to bite your tongue on these issues. Sorry, but that is my opinion.
2007-12-19 08:34:20 · answer #4 · answered by Bunny 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if your boyfriend allows her to manipulate him that's his problem not yours and if his mother wants to remain friends with his ex that's her business to. Now she doesnt want the kids to spend christmas eve with him even thought this is how the arrangement was made by the court prior to their divoice than let him notify the court. You stand by your man and dont interfer with his kids and exwife it will only cause more problems for him.
best of luck
2007-12-19 12:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having had to deal with a crazy ex myself I can tell you the best thing you can do is to get used to it and try to get along with her, or get out of the relationship because it never gets better. the ex will interfere anytime they can in lots of ways, like tell the children that if they begin to love you and call you mom they must not love her anymore and other such things, so the kids are always in a state of confusion. Now that mine are in their 20's they are finally figuring it out but trust me the best and easiest thing for you to do would be to walk away now, so unless you really really love him and see this being a lifetime thing it is going to be a hassle as long as she is around
2007-12-19 08:35:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's YOUR boyfriend...............but HER exhusband and the MOTHER of HIS child, sorry but you just can't compete. And all new girlfriends think the ex is CRAZY, I hate that! We are women and we KNOW how men are so why do we fall for the line of sh*t he gives us that she's the one who is crazy. Trust me in a few months you will probably know exactly why she's "crazy", he will most likely do the same things to you!
2007-12-19 08:48:06 · answer #7 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't you hate when people say..."let the parents deal with it" Iit isn't your place to deal with it..."?!
I'm a step mom, I know this all too well...
Talk to your boyfriend- have him tell his mom that he would like to know when she and his ex are making arrangements for the kids- he is their father and has a right to know!
As far as Christmas Eve goes- tell him to get the divorce decree out. He needs to read over it and see what it says about holidays and when he gets to celebrate Christmas with them. If the papers say that he gets them on Christmas Eve (like my husband's does) then threaten her with taking her back to court on contempt charges if she doesn't let you guys get them.
Be prepared to deal with this forever...Good luck!
2007-12-19 08:45:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
let his mother have whatever relationship she wants to have. the fact is, YOU are involved with a divorced man. he has kids with her, so he is permanently bonded to her, crazy or not.
if the mother isn't adhering to the custody decisions, then take it to the court. your boyfriend has to do it all. since you aren't married, it's not any of your business (not being mean). he's got to deal with her and his mom. unless you are married, you have to stay out of it. it's HIS battle.
good luck, and hang in there.
2007-12-19 08:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋