what should I do?

Question

I'm happily married, and have a lovely daughter.
I do go in to chat rooms, but runaway from guys that want to cyber or even ask me what i'm wearing.
I let everyone know that I am married (guy or girl). but lately. I've been talking to a guy that not only knows about my family but asks how they're doing.
I'm not falling for him, but I do find myself flirting with him a lot!
I enjoy talking to him and do consider him a friend, so I don't want to just cut him off.
any real advice would be a great help.
thanks

Answer 1

Cut him off. I was in the same situation and when my husband found out he freaked, especially when he new we were flirting he knew we never had met or crossed any lines by referring to sexual things but my husband was very hurt and offended he asked me what was he not giving me that I felt I needed to go elsewhere. I also saw it very innocently because I haven't been in many other relationships before and thats when my husband told me how a man can use that to his advantage so when problems arise thats when things may change, so to be on the safe side he told me to cut it off, so i did. I wont risk hurting my husband or losing him over some cyberdude. Not worth it

Answer 2

Keep in mind that many romances have started out as "just friends" online. Not that, that is bad, but as you state you are happily married with a beautiful daughter. Why would you want to take a chance and screw it all up.
There are ways your husband can pull up your conversations from the chat room if he ever got suspicious. Would you want him to read some of your "flirting"? If he did how would he feel and what would it do to your marriage?
Having friends online is great. We can oftentimes tell and say things online that we can't say to our significant other. But we have to be very careful not to cross the line and confuse friendship with romance.
The best defense is a good offense. Discuss your online friends with your husband. Be open and honest with him and if he is an understanding husband he will accept that there is nothing happening. But beware of that big green monster known as jealousy. Because it can and will raise it's ugly head. I know I would be a bit jealous if my significant other were carrying on a regular visitation with a person of the opposite sex online. Besides if he is really aware of what happens online he knows there are a lot of guys out there who will talk like a friend, act like a friend and be there for you when times are bad. So much so that you become dependent on him for emotional support and answers to your problems. Then all of a sudden he gets into the sexual side of things and before you know it he's got you doing things, maybe on cam or watching him on cam just so he can get his rocks off.
So the long and short of it is yes: ok to have online friends just be careful and open and honest with your spouse.

Answer 3

Check out "emotional affairs" on google. It is not appropriate to have intimacy with members of the oppsite sex that goes beyond what you might share with your husband, for instance, confidences etc...

It is really easy to get sucked into emotional affairs on the internet. He's got it sweet. He's not living the daily grind like you and your hubby raising your daughter. He just gets to be funny and witty and "really understand" you now and then on line Don't go for it mate.

Also, just ask yourself would this be appropriate with a guy in the real world? I would feel suspect flirting with a guy on line, and would not like it if my partner was doing it with some chick. What you do about it is up to you, but you obviously feel that you are starting to cross some line as you are asking for advice here.

Tell the guy you're starting to feel uncomfy with your on line chatting and just give it a rest? The "excitement" about this guy will wear off. He's not even real in terms of offering you any real friendship. That's your hubby doing that.

Answer 4

Two words is Danger Zone. If you do not see him that way he might see you in that way. If you limit the visitation and conversation to public places and you can tell you husband that you talked to him, and the content, then he is an ok friend. If you would hide anything I just listed, then you should honor the marriage and consider it a sacrifice for your husband. A new friend will present itself, and you might be surprised how thin this friendship is when you really challenge it. Marriage should be protected as it is a institution of God, and giving yourself to another even in a relationally manner could lead to further problems, and you will not be happily married anymore.

Answer 5

I know you don't want to just cut him off but what may seem like innocent flirting and chit chat can easily escalate into more. You may thinks its just fun and conversation but you really don't know what motives he may have. Being a married woman myself I would sever the tie now. If you cherish your marriage why risk allowing yourself to become infatuated with this guy. I would explain to this guy why you won't be conversing anymore and leave it at that.

Answer 6

Well - if you are not falling for him - why are you worried about it? Seriously - if you treat it as a regular friendship and keep it that way...then...?!? No big deal! But if you think that you might fall for him - or maybe you already have - then I would end it! You are the only one that can truely figure this out... The fact that you are worried about it makes me think that you feel a little something more than friedship - so ask your self if you would want to risk it!

Answer 7

I think that as long as this friendship doesn't go further then it is o.k... the question is does you husband know you are talking to him and what would you partner say if he read the emails you were sending him... if you think you will get a bad response then you are probably doing the wrong thing... try and stop any emials that your husband wouldn't like to see and i think you will feel a little better..SB

Answer 8

I think you should never get too friendly with a stranger. I can guarantee that man cares nothing about your family. I think a quick hello every now and then and thats it. None of this flirting stuff. You have a man at home and pay him some attention.

Answer 9

You are skating onto thin ice. If you claim to be happily married, what in the world are you doing? If you see it as harmless, go, right now and tell your husband "all about it". And be sure your daughter is present to hear the wonder-ness of your news.

HINT: (emphasis added) STOP it NOW

Answer 10

I think that it's okay to have an online friend of the opposite sex but just make sure you set boundaries and don't cross the line where an innocent friendship turns into an emotional affair.