I need to bond with my horse!?

Question

I have just been given my horse who is a veteran, the problem is he doesn't seem to want to spend time with me and just likes to be left alone to do his own thing. He's a loner in the field too and seems to like his own space. He's a pleasure to ride but with my other pony we had a great connection and I'd like to build the same thing up with my new horse. Does anyone know of any in-hand excercises or similar that may help us get closer?? Links to any relevant websites would be great also. Thanks!

Answer 1

I work with dozens of horses every week, and they are all different. This horse just prefers his own company. Maybe with previous homes he spent a lot of time on his own. In my experience, it is better to wait for him to come to you rather than force it. He will come round in time. Have you tried the Kelly Marks/Monty Roberts website? Click on forum and post your question there. I'm sure you will get lots of valuable advice.

www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk

Answer 2

I had the same problem 12 months ago when i got my new mare.
She just did not want to know me and i felt really upset that we were not bonding like my other horse and i have.
I just spent loads of time with her, grooming her, giving her treats and getting used to riding her as she is an ex race horse, very different from my other horse.
We have now got a really good bond and if i go into the field she will walk next to me and follow me all over.

Just give it time and patience, it will happen dont fret. My mare some days just does not want to know me, i just leave her to it. Sometimes when i go on a morning she can be a crabby cow and when i go on the afternoon she gives me loads of love.

xx

Answer 3

Relationships take time, whether between a horse and rider, or between two people. You can't rush friendship, either. But you can do things to help your horse like you. Some horses are stand-offish as that is part of their personality, some horses keep aloft until they get to know you, some horses have had bad experiences with people or have been sold so many times they hate to trust anyone. Knowing why your horse is a bit stand-offish will probably give you insight what to do.
I know many people are going to disagree with this, but I believe that horse treats (if given properly and nibbling and pesty behavior is discouraged) is a way to make your horse like you. I have owned many horses who start off being cool and even hard to catch, and within a few months neigh when I enter the pen and walk right over to me. The secret is - giving 1 treat when you catch them and not handing out treats all the time, and not accepting pushy or pesty behavior. I do not agree that all treats make all horses bad. My young horses learn to accept treats in certain regular times and they do not bite or be bad - I normally give simple old alfalfa cubes as treats as they are cheap and have no sugar.
Next, spend time brushing and grooming and being with your horse. Even things like mucking out their stall, doing chores nearby, all that can equal quality time. And as much as possible, YOU should be the one feeding your horse. The one who handles the feeding is the one the horses notice!
I do think that groundwork can help you bond. I am a fan of Parelli's seven games - I think they teach a horse to focus on you, to try to do what you ask and to communicate with you. I'm sure you can easily find out what the games are and learn to do them. Doubtlessly other people have super games to play with your horse that would work as well, I'm just familiar with Parelli's.
I would try to make riding fun, even though it can't be a game all the time. If you have to work in the ring all the time, try new things. Trail obstacles, working over rails, swinging a rope from his back, learning to follow a slow cow, those are all exciting things for an older horse who thinks he's done it all. And trail riding is also fun for many horses.
Good luck. I would really encourage you to be patient and just keep putting in daily time. It can take a full year before you really know your horse, and that will happen one day at a time!

Answer 4

I hadn't seen my horse in a while( 9 months to be exact :( ! ) since Friday. When I went over there , he rembered me but we didn't have the same connection. I brushed him ALOT and fed him some treats, a little extra grain ( just a little handful by hand). i also took him for szhort walks around the barn and into the pasture. I took him to parts in the barn he usally doesn't go and he seemed to be excited, not scared, but happy. I also dressed him up as Santa but I don't think this helped the whole bonding thing LOL. So thats what I did and it helped. best wishes!

Answer 5

Be fair with him. When he does something good, praise him. When he does something bad, correct him, and move on. That's the biggest thing horses respect.

Just spend time with him. Talk to him. Spend extra time grooming him, stroke him. Learn the Parelli games. Learn Showmanship. Have "fun" days where you just turn your horse out in an arena and let him run, roll, and just be a horse. Don't just work him everytime you see him. Make him want to see you. =)

Answer 6

It takes time to bond properly - I reckon it takes a year to really get to know a horse, so be patient. Also some horses are more sociable than others. My first mare was always a bit aloof, fantastic temperament and I could do anything with her but she wasn't very affectionate. I had a gelding who was a real people person and my current horse is in between the two!

Respect the new horse for having his own personality. Spend time grooming, poo-picking etc - basically just be around him.

You could try the parelli games but the proper kit is expensive....try this link:
http://iceryder.net/7games.html

Answer 7

Give it time. You and he will become friends. Does he like sweet apples? Or some other little treats? Visit him socially in the field and offer these things. When it gets warmer and you can sit in the field, bring a book with you, and maybe something that plays nice music, sometimes animals react to this. My brother used to love the band Queen and used to sing the entire album A Night At The Opera to the cows when he was in the dairy milking them. They seemed to like it!

Answer 8

horses can be just like people - some sociable, some loners. You wont be able to change the fact he likes his own company, but you might be able to build a better relationship with him by spending quality time with him - grooming him, all the time talking to him and giving him treats, so he will associate you with pleasurable things.
Some people might consider this bribery on your behalf - but hell if it works go for it!!
xx

Answer 9

hmm it sounds like your horse is kinda the shy guy. Maybe while hes grazing, go take a book or something(not an ipod, these dont work-they make you less connected) and sit near him. You can happily read aloud to him or be silent. see what he likes. when you go to halter him, does he run from you? if he does, turn your back on him and when he walks towards you, step backwards, until he eagarly walks towards you out of curiosity. when you go to greet him, breathe in and out with your nose, through his nose. i did this with my horse for ahwile, and soon he started treating me almost like a horse too- and he would give me a low nicker when i went to go catch him. becasue he does the same nicker to his friends, i know it means "hello". some days, bring a piece of carrot, apple, dried fruit, sugar cube, horse treat with you. make him work for it though, put it in your hand, and let him smell it, then walk. he should follow you. in the ring, start off talking to him. dont constantly chatter or he will get bored. horses need to also know that you are in charge- so dont always praise- disipline, and he will respect you for a rider, not a kid.
after the ride, be sure to take off all his tack first, and carefully. let him know you adore him :) after a bit, go to the ring and as a cooldown, dismount, and teach him to follow you. this builds an incredible bond. by doing this, use the tip of the riegns and lead him slightly at first. soon, he will get the hang of it, and just follow you everywhere. im very proud of being able to jump off, not even look at him, and set up jumps. he just follows and i know he will. he waits for me to move the poles too!! its adorable. and when you walk by the pasture, call his name (i say heeey bud) and use the same voice you always use. he'll eventually get used to it and look up every time you call him. its a wonderful feeling to bond with your horse!! i wish you good luck :)

Answer 10

round pen? or small arena? put him in and make him canter around without lunge line or whip. Use a lead rope like a lasso to make him go. keep him moving. study him while u r shoulder to shoulder with him as hes going (just keep with him as he goes aroud) it sometimes takes a long time. but wait.. it may take a couple of lessons before he does it. okay when he puts his head down and starts to chew turn away from him, do not look. he comes to u. if u pet and he shies send him up, if he doesnt turn and walk, he should follow. PS. do not take your eyes away from him until he makes the signal. if this isnt working for u.... brush him thoroughly while talking, hang with him in the pastur (rubbing him and talking), sing to him when rididng. Stick up for him.