Short and Small Guys.. Can life even get worse?

Question

I'm 20 - 5'8" - 135 lbs, and I have blond hair and a baby face. This is definately not the first post on the topic of being small and miserable. Most people respond by writing something along the lines of, "Women don't care about looks. Just personality." I think people are confusing how things should be with how they really are. The truth is- all the girls i've met aren't even willing to find out what kind of personality I do have. All of them are waiting for that tall, dark and handsome guy to come along and sweep them off their feet. I guess the message I am trying to send to all of you small guys out there is this: Yes, being small sucks. Other guys make fun of us, and the majority of women are only looking at the tall guy over our shoulders. It's a fact of life, which nobody can deny! All we can do is try to bulk up, or pray to God for a miracle.

Does anyone have some input? I'd really like to know what the girls out their have to say.

Sorry peeps. I didn't mean to appear overly bitter on the subject. I've had a low self-esteem for years, and anger & frustration seems to be the only answer these days. Another question - I was abused when I was younger, could this influence an exaggerated low-self esteem. I'll probably post this as a separate question.

Answer 1

A lot of people have already posted to your question, but I figured I'd add a little something for you. I am 21 and I can tell you that you are probably just looking in the wrong place for dates. The only flaw I can see that you are expressing here is your self-esteem. That might be why women aren't as attracted to you. NOT because of how you look. You may just feel that is the reason because that's how YOU feel. I think you should post a picture of yourself. (Your avatar pic is tiny) You may be surprised. Don't beat yourself up. Keep your chin high and smile. If you try to exude a little bit of confidence, you'll be amazed at the change in responses you get. Good luck, honey.

Answer 2

Okay, if you think you are 'short', then omg. I actually prefer shirt guys, and once had a boyfriend who was 5'1". So its alright. Don't be miserable with that fact. All my friends would love you, if you have a good personality. Not sure if this is a good answer...

Answer 3

This is guy to guy talk, forget the psychology stuff for a minute. You're right girls like taller guys, if you listen to GQ or cosmo. I see girls ALL THE TIME with shorter guys in college, some girls just dig them over tall guys. They might seem less threatening than some 6'5" monster. I am 6'2" and my girlfriend loves that i am tall. But here's the thing, SHE likes that i am tall while there is a girl that would HATE that i am tall. I think you are trying too hard with girls and associating thier rejection of you with your height. Have you ever thought about your low self-esteem bringing you down, and girls pick up on that? Girls love a high self-esteem! Who doesn't? Your height is more a concern with YOU than anyone else.

Answer 4

Well, first things first, you aren't that small. It's not like your 5'3". Second, maybe you don't like tall girls? You didn't say. I'm 6'5" and my best friend is 5"7". My wife is 5"7" and his wife is 5"10". The tall girls always loved him. Lastly, He's forty now and he looks great. A little greying at the temples but he looks 30. Whatever your feelings are, I got to tell you, you have a lot going for you, based on what you say in your post. Be patient, as you get older, the tables are going to turn on the tall, dark and handsome fellows. They are going to turn stooped, old and dumpy.

Answer 5

Why are you so upset about this?? If your problem is love well this may sound like a hallmark card but hey come on isn't that what helps us sometimes? Anyway, all you have to do is find the right girl, some one who likes blonde's, isn't tall, and one more thing you have to do is accept yourself. If you think that your this short gross guy with absolutely no confidence who would want to date you. When you like a girl you look for some one that likes themselves. Just have some confidence in yourself and enjoy your life, I mean come on plenty of stars are small etc. I mean look at Justin Timberlake, hes skinny has some what of a baby face and yet girls love him do you know why??? Because he has plenty of confidence and enjoys his own life.

Answer 6

Ok Look, it's like this. Us guys, we like women with big brasts. BUT, when it comes to choosing a mate, that plays a very small role, doesn't it. I mean if a guy is determined to have a girl with big breasts he is stupid.
same goes with a guys hight. Yes, a tall dark and handsome guy is ideal for any girl. But when it comes to choosing a mate most girls aren't that bothered about a guys hight.
I am 5'7" and I have no issues with my hight. I did when I was younger. But now it means almost nothing
Keep in good shape. that's far more important than your hight. The shape you keep is far more a reflection of your personality than your hight.
If you're waiting for some girls hee to say that it doesn't matter you're wasting your time. I fyou make it so important in your own mind, then you are creating a problem for your self and no one can fix that problem for you

Answer 7

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Dan, we here in Wisconsin understand the dilemma of divorce for the male partner. They don't treat men too well who file for divorce who have children. Like you, I too live in a small town and find that everyone seems related, so much so that I've made the comment that Wisconsin families don't seem to have many branches on their trees! Your best bet is to wait till spring to file!!! Winter divorces go very badly for the men! Summer ones tend to go a bit easier. I divorced in California and got custody of the kids, made her pay child support, and pretty much cleaned up from her filing! If at all possible get her to file! I talk with many guys here who filed and we sort of had a support group for a short time which helped many of them. Bottom line is don't be a nice guy, if you want to survive after the divorce! Go for the kids! Now the final bit of advice, if at all possible forget the divorce!!!!!! It's a bad idea! Who cares if the love is gone! Be there for the kids instead. Treat your wife like a best friend instead of a spouse. And by all means if you want "her" to start trying more, go for about 3 months without even hinting about wanting sex. Find excuses to not have it. She will go nuts on trying to fix the problem!! Good luck!

Answer 8

i used to think that same way in high school because people were very shallow then. Now that im 19 and in college, i've met nicer people, they've matured and are more accepting of my personality. The majority of the people at the college i go to look over my height (hehe, no possible pun intended), and i've been closer to more people in college than in high school.

The people who only look at the looks and the physical aspects are more superficial and will grow up eventually. Just try to surround yourself with the people who like you for you.

I'm 19 y/o, 5'5.5" at 125 pounds and most people don't seem to notice the height in college.

Answer 9

I think it's unfair that you would make a sweeping generalization of all women based on your experience with some of them. I'm 5'9" and I've dated 2 men, one was 5'6" the other 5'7" and both weighed between 137-145 and it was their confidence that attracted me to them. It had absolutely nothing to do with their height or weight at all.

Answer 10

For what it's worth, you are NOT small. I've dated several men who were shorter than me and even shorter than you and I liked them for who they were, not their height/weight. If you were abused as a child, that may have a lot to do with having low self esteem and low confidence and that's an issue you will need to work on.

I suggest not worrying about what you can't change and focus on the things you can change. Your height...you can't change. Your weight and your confidence you can definitely change.