Everybody tells us we need to contract someone or ask for family in order to help us on the first weeks after birth... we do not see it that way. What is your personal experience ?
2007-12-19 07:26:33 · 26 answers · asked by Bignol 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Well, I can tell you what, my mother and mother in law both came to stay with us for 1 week each... and it was great. By day 6 or 7 we were tired of both of them (hehe) but it was very valuable!
Having a baby isn't just about changing diapers and feeding... the mother is going to be exhausted before the baby even needs her attention - she just went through a big ordeal physically and emotionally. I needed another woman to help me understand some physical things and get me through some of the emotional things. If she is breastfeeding, she will need help... because its a learning experience for everyone.
There were be very sleepless nights for awhile... and the need to nap during the day is incredible! Lots and lots of laundry... and who will be making your meals and shopping for things while you're both completely engaged in this new little baby?
People around the world get by just fine without help, but I come from a family that has the attitude "it takes a village to raise a baby." If nothing else, think of the mom... this is just a new baby for you, but she has an array of other firsts she is going through also... good luck!
2007-12-19 07:51:39 · answer #1 · answered by amber 18 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not "absolutely necessary" but it is a god send if you can get someone to come and help you out. Because in those first few weeks, for mom especially, you're not going to be getting much sleep which means you'll be tired and napping when the baby does and doing house work right after having a baby isn't such a fun thing to do. So yeah, having someone come over, clean up a little, cook a meal or two, and just hang out is very helpful and will cut down the risks of postpartum depression from being stressed out and tired.
I had a c-section with my son so we spent the first week after leaving the hospital staying at my mom's house that way we wouldn't have to deal with meals or house work at all. It was great, it made it much easier once we went home because by then we knew his routine and it was easier to work around it.
2007-12-19 16:34:14 · answer #2 · answered by Dani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES YES YES.
The coming of a new baby is very overwhelming on both mom & dad. Mommy will be tired, sored, sleep deprived and BF and within 1 day the house will be a mess. It's very nice to have someone helping around. I find it sweet that you ask, shows that you at least have listened to some advice and wanna make sure your wife is comfortable and ok.
In my personal experience, we hired help just for the 1st 6 weeks, I had 3 months maternity leave so I though 6 weeks was ok and hubby agreed. When the 6 weeks were getting closer I asked him If we could use her till the end of my maternity leave, he said sure. When my maternity leave was almost over I said Can we keep her LOL. He said sure, in fact it was about the same $$ than a daycare (a little less) she had been in the house with me for 12 weeks already and she knew the baby, and trusted her enough to leave the baby with her. To make the long story short she's been with us almost for a year. I like it better to have a nanny than take my baby to daycare.
Depends on your finances, etc. My parents live away and my inlaws are old people and it would have been too much for them to deal with a newborn.
Some help is very nice and necessary.
Good luck and congrats to you and your wife.
2007-12-19 16:04:18 · answer #3 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how well the delivery went. I had to have an emergency c-section and had a blood infection afterward so I was very ill. After 8 days in the hospital I was home, but I needed tons of help! My husband was working a few hours a day so he was home often to help me but my Mom also stayed with us for 2 weeks. It is hard after a c-section to take care of a baby. I wasn't allowed to lift anything over 10 lbs, so I couldn't carry the baby in the car seat, and I wasn't allowed to drive at all. I did really need people around to help out with cooking and cleaning for sure since my hubby is not so good at that stuff ... I would always make sure I had someone to help out even if the birth was easy and complication free.
2007-12-19 15:54:39 · answer #4 · answered by Alberta Mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It definitely helps to take the load off the couple. My husband and I were planning on it just being the two of us, but the kid is a lot of work. And you don't get much sleep. We aren't big on asking for help, but my mom has been right there for us and it's a little less stressful. I am the housewife and my mom comes over and does laundry and cooks dinner and watches the baby while I take a nap or take a shower. I've been more active than I should and I'm paying for it now, because I've been having pain and still bleeding.
My husband said he'd do the housework but he comes home from work and he's exhausted. Things just don't get done.
Just break down and have someone help you a little. You'll appreciate it in the end.
2007-12-19 15:36:23 · answer #5 · answered by captainlualbano 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not necessary although having an extra hand around the house really helps. There were times after I had my son that I was so thankful that my mom was there to watch him while I napped or showered or even went to the bathroom for that matter. My hubby had to go back to work 3 days after I had our son so I felt overwelmed for the first couple days following. I'd say really the only time you will really need an extra hand is at night. It will be very exhausting for your wife if she's the only one getting up with the baby at night. Try taking turns getting up with the baby unless of course she needs to nurse or something. Work as a team and you guys will do fine! GL!
2007-12-19 15:53:49 · answer #6 · answered by chichibaby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I did just fine with him taking some time off of work. I did have a c-section though, so I had a longer healing process. But after a week, I was fully capable of caring for him. So, I would imagine it's probably a little easier after a vaginal birth, as the healing time is a little shorter.
My Grandmother would come by once a day just to give my hubby a break, or help with laundry or whatever, but we did just fine on our own, and I'm glad we got to spend our first few days as a family alone.
2007-12-19 15:31:20 · answer #7 · answered by mr.gaddis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not necessary. We were on our own with no help following both of our daughters' births. My husband took three days off for the first baby and two weeks for the second (mostly to care for our elder daughter), and everything was entirely fine.
I think it would have been more stressful to have family or hired help over at that time. I would have been thinking about housework and keeping my "guests" entertained, and I might have been self-conscious about being exposed while figuring out breastfeeding. Also it hurts for the first few days, and I valued my privacy while I was hurting.
I definitely preferred having those early days to ourselves and just having some time alone to enjoy our new family.
2007-12-19 20:35:40 · answer #8 · answered by mnpto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my sister come stay with my with my second and it was a tremendous help mainly because there is a lot to be done around the house. All I wanted to do was sleep and take care of the baby. My husband worked, when he got home he was tired. So my sister would help clean, cook and take care of my other child as well as watch the baby so I could get a few hours of shut eye at night and shower. It is just a nice help to have them there for the first few days to a week when you get home.
2007-12-19 15:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by PG with #3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not absolutely necessary but if you have it take it. I had a c-section so we decided to stay with my parents for a while and it was great help, two days after we got home water started leaking from my stitches and I had to go back to the hospital if my mom wouldn't of been there it would of been real tough for us. Also whenever she had extra time she would take the baby out of the room so I could catch up on sleep, she sort of trained me to do the bath, change clothes quickly so he wouldn't get cold change diapers fast enough so wouldn't go all over the place, it was a lot of things that eventually we would of learned but the sooner we learn the better. Good luck and congrats!
2007-12-19 15:43:27 · answer #10 · answered by Jaanali's mommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋