what should I do with the money from my in laws.?

Question

In July my husband and his father got into an argument and my father in law called my husband some really nasty names. Then a week later his mother did the samething. My in laws have been trying to manipulate us since the day we got married and have said some mean things and have done horrible things to us. Not knowing how to handle the situation went for counsoling and it was recommended since we have 4 young to children to "love from a distance" until they can behave. Since July they have made no effort to see our children not even a phone call. So the other day was suprised to get Christimas cards from them with a 50 check for each my children with a note saying that they are praying that their parents would let them visit. We chose not have a close relationship with them because of their verbal abuse towards us in front of children should we give the money back due to the nasty note or keep for my children who are 4,3,2,and 9 months

Answer 1

I do not get along with my father - but when he gets a bug up his butt and decides to play "Daddy" I cash the check and put it in a bank account for each of the kids.

I figure why should the kids not benefit because my father is a twit.

Answer 2

Open or deposit the money in an account for your children and put the money there. Keep all notes and leave it for when they get older and say nothing. Write them a thank you note and tell them the money is in the bank for their future and you appreciate it.

Back door blackmail is all it is. Gift goes to the kids....kids get it. Blackmail doesn't work for what problems you have with them.

Try though to establish some means for the grandparents to see the kids. It's an important relationship to establish. But you are right in not making money one of the factors to be bought off or paid off. Put every dime though into the kids funds. It is their gift.....not yours.

Answer 3

They are reaching out to you.

Doesn't mean all is solved, but they are reaching out to you at Christmas time. Peace on earth, good will to men, you know?

I am sure your counselor will have prepared you for the day when you start to re-establish boundaries, right?

Well that time is now, so if you haven't been prepped, get on it because if you let Christmas go by, you may regret the lost opportunity for a long time as it will be harder to reestablish once you shun them during the holidays.

Call your therapist right now if you have to because s/he has their own holiday plans fast approaching and may not be available much more before Christmas.

Tell 'em I sent ya! :)

Answer 4

Start college funds in the kids' names. Deposit any funds in that. Since they sent them for the kids, you should apply it to the kids, and avoid them accusing you of taking the money. You can also deposit money yourself. By the time the kids are college age, they should have a tidy sum to help them.

** Note: This is a general discussion of the subject matter of your question and not legal advice. Local laws or your particular situation may change the general rules. For a specific answer to your question you should consult legal counsel with whom you can discuss all the facts of your case. **

Answer 5

seems his folks have decided to "love from a distance". Send them a 200. check from your kids. No grandparent can go without those babys very long. Your relationship with his mom is the key.I would work that side of the street,after all she has marital and paternal bonds that will make them listen.

Answer 6

YOU don't have to decide. The money is for the children and they are not in the arguement. Buy them something nice and tell the 4 year old to write a thank you in crayons and send it.

Answer 7

it's you and your husband's fight with your parents!...let the kids enjoy the gift...it's theirs not yours

Answer 8

Bank it!!!!