having a kid?

Question

im 22 years old and im haveng my first baby i been with my wife for about 3 years . heres the thing im scard i m happy that im going to be a dad but i have no money not enouf to suport a baby . and my wife isnt working .she is goin to school for phleobotamy . and wont be done till after the baby comes. im not sure wat to do . i am glad that ill be a dad . and i love my wife but we are having some problems (on the past OUR past) so that is making me even more worried . it seems like me and her will be ok as long as we let the past go. but im just very nerves right now . . so i know i realy didnt ask a Q but does any body have any advise for me . kid and relationship wise . especialy money wise

Answer 1

Many couples have a child when they think they don't have enough money to support a family. They're probably right, but the children come anyway and most families get through the financial hardships just fine.

Children are a blessing. Give your child the most precious gifts a parent can give -- Love, time, praise, education, emotional support, gentleness, compassion, direction, discipline, ethics, etc... Trust me, that child won't remember the expensive toy as much as they will remember that you treated them & their mother with love & respect!

Answer 2

Congratulations on your child, it is really neat thing, and as you are finding out, life changing. The money thing is really a good question, the answer here is it is not as bad as you think. Formula and diapers are the worse part. I would have a baby shower and see if you can get the car seat/baby high chair things that you need(do not run out and buy new). Otherwise get connected to a christian ministry to get these items, which might help you with your wife relationship issues. It sounds like you need to maybe build trust again on both sides and decide if you are going to try to build a marriage on God's principles(Eph 5) 1 Peter 3) or if you are going to stumble through the next few years relationally. This will help you and your baby. Money wise, get on a budget, write down all expenditures, for help www.crown.org. Otherwise you are nervous which is good, you will really be resourceful and put energy into doing the suggestions above. You should be excited because this could be the opportunity you have been waiting for to grow up your relationship with your wife, have a great family, and move into your future. Being married with kids is fun, if you are doing it biblically and occasionally knowing that you need help from people.

Answer 3

It really doesnt' take as much money as you think to have and raise a child. You and your wife need to make some simple sacrifices and be willing to accept help. Most women have baby showers where most everything is given to you. You can find many things at second hand shops and if you call your local health department they will have suggestions for you as well. There are places and ways to get help, you just have to seek it out. It's not as challenging as it feels right now. Almost every man I know has had some big fears when their first child came along. You're not the first nor the last to be in a position like this. It will all be fine. If you're a member of a local church - many of them will support and help in a gazillion ways.

Answer 4

As much as you think you should wait to be "financially stable" to have a child....that day will NEVER come. You will find something else that you have to do before you have a child. I'm not saying you should just have a child whenever. I read an article once that if you break down the cost to raise a child for 18 years, it works out to about $5 or $10 a day....not that bad. As for helping with money, sign up for all of the formula and diaper websites. They will send you free samples, and coupons that you can use. One formula company sent me coupons for $11 off, I would buy the can of formula that cost $11.29. I would go into the store with all the coupons in hand, figure out the cheapest way, walk out of there with enough formula for a couple months and only would have spent $10 or $15. If you do sign up for the websites, do like we did....we used our address and our families addresses, so we had all that free stuff being sent to multiple places. You will be fine, don't worry

Answer 5

First of all congratulations. You'll get to find out real soon just how much a baby cost. I guess it's too late to tell you now that in order to give your baby adequate care it requires a lot of money. Daycare, diapers, formula, medical...etc. I don't want to make you feel bad but you should have thought of that before you two get pregnant. But cheer up. Because the most important thing to a baby is that he/she has a set of parents who love him/her, cares for him/her, and are willing to make sacrifices for him/her. So here is what you can do
1) Enlist help from familes, anything and everything helps. Don't say no to anything
2) Look for private homes instead of daycare centers, they are cheaper
3) Your wife should get a part time job
Daycare, diapers, formula, medical are the four most important things to care for a baby in his/her first 2 years. Make that a priority. Everything else will have to come after that.

Answer 6

Kids, money and wifes,,,, there is always something that can be scary about it, but you have to take it how it comes, dont stress over it, it will only make things worse, live each day to the fullest.

Think about the people out there that want a child and cant have one..its hard but the outcome will be worth it. we are never ready for alot of things. just treat her good and everything will work out in the end for you.

Answer 7

Your feelings are pretty normal and actually tell me you will be the best dad you can be since you are thinking ahead. I dont know what you do for work, but it might be time to look for a better paying job before the baby comes. You may also need to start checking into more job training for yourself to secure a good future for your family. And if all else fails, you may have to get temporary assistance from DHS. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Get 2 jobs, put the money away, as much as possible, if you are really in need of money or food for the baby u can always ask ur state what kind of services they can provide for u, if u really need it though, but try to get a 2nd job, and whatever u make from that job, put everything in the bank or in envelope, but don't use it untill u need it for the baby.

Answer 9

You will have to find a way to supplement your income. You can do that by getting another job or by getting a better paying job. I would also suggest that your wife get a job when the child is old enough (as long as she makes more than you pay for child care).

Having a child means making sacrifices.

Answer 10

You should go out and get another job to supplement your income if you are worried about not having enough money for the baby. Everybody is nervous about the arrival of a baby...it is a scary thing.