My husband & I recently married after 1.5 yr dating & 1.5 yr living together. He's divorced but have a 4 yr old son w/ his ex-wife. His ex-wife is being vindictive, using her son to cause trouble because:
+ she's blaming me for not being able to reconciliate w/ her husband after they were separated. They were separated & he date other women before I entered the picture, but since he was dating me when she filed the divorce - I'm to blame :)
+ for taking her place
+ for being nice to her kid, whom is now my stepson too.
+ encourage my husband to be more involve in his kid's life, and make sure he knows his rights - husband can't read English well so he's intimidated by the law + court stuffs.
+ get along with his parents, etc ...
I read numerous Q&A on ex-wife issues & do understand that it's a normal psychologically for her to be jeolous, mean, ... When I was the gf, I just ignore her and let my bf deal with it but now that we're married, what should I do?
2007-12-19 06:42:10 · 7 answers · asked by kwyenie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The ex-wife & son will also be in my life and effect me. The kid is so young, there will be years of parenting ahead, I don't want him growing up being "stuck in the middle" and us having conflicts and trouble every few days.
I read a suggestion to sit her down & talk to her. Should I (or we,my husband & I) even try to talk to her? ... that is if she agrees to have a talk. How should I approach her to assure she don't feel threaten (I don't want to be his mom, just another person to care for him) ... or should I just let her be and hope time will make a difference?
I know there are ex-wife out there who gets along with the stepmom. Can you give some suggestion on how we can get along civilly if not great.
2007-12-19 06:54:00 · update #1
Well we all agree, the x no matter what sex they are can be that way, thats y they are the x's right?? I have the same issues with my husbands x wife. I would be here venting all day if I told you everything that she and I have gone through, and still fo through.
Today alone I guess she got what was coming to her but in a bad and unfortunate way... Her new husband found out he has Cancer and he has already lost one nut and about to loose the other it has also spread to his liver I guess and he may not make it through the summer. I guess what goes around comes around thats all I can say.
I feel very bad for the man, and to bad it's not her really but if you treat ppl bad then bad things are bound to happen to you someday, may not be right away and you may never think that they two are connected but they are.
I say swallow your pride and be the bigger one here don't let her get to you, she is only doing the crap because you are egging her on by letting her know it bothers you. TRUST ME ! been there done that, and when I stopped it stopped...Not saying we get along now but at least I don't feel as though I am competeting for my husbands attention.He love's me as your love's you let yourself be happy and let her be who she wants to be,she will get bored.
2007-12-19 07:11:57 · answer #1 · answered by Juicyfruit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Legally theres not much YOU can do here unless she threatens you in some form or another. Your husband needs to step up to the plate here and tellher that he doesnt appreciate her attitude toward you and if it doesnt stop,then he will sue her in court for harassment and that should stop her. If needbe,he can tell her that you both have contacted a Paralegal (me) and that should really make her do some thinking. His life is now with you and not hers anymore so she just needs to butt out except for matters that involve their son. Now if she threatens you,then thats a totally different matter for which you can sue her for harassment and threats made against you. Hope this helps and Happy Holidays
2007-12-19 06:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not much you can do about how other people behave. Just keep on doing what you are doing, being nice. Keep an eye on the child, if the ex is starting to become mean to the kid you may need o protect the child and take legal action.
2007-12-19 06:51:09 · answer #3 · answered by petra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to understand her. Don't give in just see where she's coming from. Funny thing is my wife and ex-wife are best of friends now. It's a little odd sometimes but it works for us. The kids are happy too.
2007-12-19 06:48:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
is this a sparkling difficulty or new boyfriend? a chum of mine is amazingly close along with his ex spouse--she is married to #3 and he's single. They "love" one yet another, yet do not want to be married and share a daughter now in college. He asked me if i concept it replaced into astounding; and actually, i think of a dating of anger and resentment could be lots worse. She is dedicated to her husband and he's actively searching for a mate. in the adventure that your boyfriend and ex have constantly been like this, i could think of not something of it. this is the "after marriage" existence they have worked out.
2016-10-02 03:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex is very vindictive and My wife (now) just does what she does best That is being a lovely person and treating my children like they are hers.
Try talking to God he does wonders
2007-12-19 06:47:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
my girlfriends ex-husband does the same thing. i think it is her way of guilting him in to doing what she wants. this behavior is childish and unacceptable, he needds to put a stop to it and for your sake don't let it get to you. She will do whatever she can to try and cause problems between the two of you. if by picking at the little things about you it upsets you, in turn your patience with him will shorten and cause problems. so my advice to you is to ignore her childishness and try to help him deal with it like adults do.
2007-12-19 06:48:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋