Thou shall not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
Thou shall not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
Thou shall not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
Thou shall not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are transparent.
Thou shall not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
Thou shall not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
Thou shall not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
Thou shall not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.
Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
Thou shall not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
Thou shall not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.
Thou shall not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
Thou shall not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4a.m.
Thou shall realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
Thou shall not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
Thou shall not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
Thou shall remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
Thou shall show remorse when being scolded.
2007-12-19 06:34:16 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
I am posting this so Oliver and Taz will take note, I will put a copy lower so that Pugly and Marisol can read it too, seems to apply to the dogs in my house as well as the cats!
I love the one about walking in front of humans, that darn cat has tripped me at least 100 times! One time, she went "sailing" accidentally (no she didn't get hurt) Please add, thou shall not barf in the "mommies" hair when she is sleeping, this is NOT a conditioner! Thou shalt not dig claws into leg and "knead" the "mommie's" thigh. Thou shalt NOT claw the pantyhose Thou shall NOT eat the bread through the wrapper, though shall NOT open the bag of catfood from the bottom, especially when the top is already opened. .Thou shall NOT pee in her purse! For Oliver, thou shalt NOT knock the dog over when he is going to the bathroom, the neighbors are laughing! It is OK to walk your dog, after all, Pug is your pet too. My cat thinks he owns a doggie!.
More stars, More stars!
2007-12-19 08:42:41 · answer #1 · answered by slk29406 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
you forgot a few---Thou shall not sleep wrapped around thy humans neck at night so that with each breath you take has fur in it. Thou shall not sit in the food which is on the table when there is a dinner party going on. Thou shall not come onto the table and proceed to eat out of thy humans plate.Thou shall not at 5am jump on the bed and keep pushing thy head into thy humans mouth until the human wakes and pats and loves the cat.Remember this humans--- a dog says about humans, you feed me, you love me, you play with me,you must be a God. A cat says of a human,you feed me,you love me,you play with me, I must be a God.
2007-12-19 06:46:18 · answer #2 · answered by lonepinesusan 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A man, his wife, and three children were visiting China and brought their cat with them to a restaurant. The cat was meowing for milk, and not knowing how to speak Chinese, the father motioned to the waiter, pointed to his cat, and then motioned to his own mouth, trying to convey that the cat wanted something to drink. The waiter, wanting to make a good impression, quickly complied, picked the cat up and brought it into the kitchen. Twenty-five minutes later, the waiter brought out a covered dish for the family dinner. The waiter proudly uncovered the meal; he was serving the family cat, cooked the traditional Chinese way.
2007-12-19 06:58:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh my stars and garters....I hope the Lord has mercy on my poor Cammie, or she's looking UP with a fan rather than down with a halo about now!
Her thing was parking in the middle of whatever I was trying to read or write. Book, newspaper, crossword - didn't matter to her. I think she believed newsprint and ink weregood for her backside.
2007-12-19 10:35:07 · answer #4 · answered by karen star 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha oh they are all so true yet another night of a cat catapulting itself from the wardrobe onto me in mid sleep! I think you missed thou shall not sit in the hallway and scream at 3am!
2007-12-19 06:44:47 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Shira has a cold and won't get along with my new cat that I just found by the dumpster at Del Taco. She was so small and crying. I almost fell when I was reaching for her but she is a darling. I wish Shira would just get along with her.
2007-12-19 07:00:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
My cats choose not to obey them - and several more.
What a breath of fresh air - I have had a really good giggle at this and at some of the answers. Well done.
2007-12-19 07:37:11 · answer #7 · answered by annie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is fantastic, thank you. Also: "Thou shalt eat all the food on thy plate and not walk off in distain" "Thou shalt not behave like a trollop in public, rolling on your back in the middle of the pavement for fuss is tacky in the extreme"
2016-04-10 07:57:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My cats broke all the rules, but they know that I have a squirt gun handy and I can shoot them in the head at any time I feel like it. We haven't had to think about capital punishment at my house.
2007-12-19 08:00:47 · answer #9 · answered by GENE 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No they don't and it is high time they learned. My dogs don't obey half of them either. Is there a Sunday school for animals near here?
2007-12-19 06:40:06 · answer #10 · answered by doxie 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋