my now ex wanted me to get pregnant and im 3 months preg. we recently had a big fight and as soon as i went to work he packed up and moved out. weve been together for a year and some months. first he says he loves me, next he says he's not dealing with me again. im confused. should i try to work it out with him or should i just let him be him?
2007-12-19 06:17:14 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let him go. You don't need that loser in your life. I feel bad for your child. But, the jack ass will be paying! Good luck!
2007-12-19 06:56:37 · answer #1 · answered by tom_gpp 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometiems people on these boards amaze me....child support is always the first answer when someone wants to get back at their child's father right?
Well I guess instead of getting pregnant because he wanted you to, you two should have been talking about what the future holds for you two BEFORE you considered getting pregnant. But what's done is done and now you have to decide what to do for you and your child. The best thing to do is move on and start planning your life for you and your unborn baby.
I'd try and keep track of the father and give him the call the day you go into labor and let him know what hospital you'll be at. Let him decide if he wants to be there or not, after all, this IS his child too. Some people panic and say they don't want to be involved and later on realize they made a stupid and selfish choice and decide they want to step up and be a parent. Give him that chance and NOT because you're being nice, but because you're doing it for your child's sake.
If he chooses to blow you guys off, then move forward and take him to court for both child support and visitation. They will want a DNA test since you two are unmarried. He can pay his child support and he will also be allowed to visit with the child.
I know it's hard right now and you're probably a bundle of emotions, but focus on that baby first and foremost. Everything will be okay. There are lots of progarms to help people out that are in your position. I'd also start trying to plan on what you'll do when the baby is born as far as providing for him/her, where you'll live, insurance etc.
Best of luck!
** ADD **
And just because he says he doesn't love you, doesn't mean he won't love this baby. There are LOTS of people out there that have children from previous relationships or marriages and they don't love one another but they would do anything for their kids. Being a good parent isn't about how much you love your spouse or significant other.
2007-12-19 06:30:46 · answer #2 · answered by Momto2inFL 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Gently: Explain that you understand he too is scared and worried about the baby. It's cause of a lack of knowledge, but assure him- you and him can learn together. Afterall, it would be two of you up against one tiny, weak infant- I'm sure together you both can handle it. Besides, between the two of you- I bet you'll out smart the baby into thinking happy!
Firmly: Explain that your body is going through some major hormonal changes ON TOP of all of the same fears and worries he has. Let him know that your mind is not right at this time and that you WILL do and say things that aren't really nice (he should firmly tell you when he's had enough, or even go for a car ride, but never run away.) Point blank- He needs to man-up or he'll be forcing you to garnish his wages for child support= which you really don't want to do, but for the best interest of the child, he forces you to.
If you feel you are not ready to have this baby either: call 1-800-BETHANY. They will help you from exactly where you are at.
2007-12-19 06:30:03 · answer #3 · answered by Xanadu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let him go otherwise you will be back on this site in a few months again.
I am telling you he will not be there for you or that baby your living a fantasy that all young girls have.
Life is not like the movies reality is if he left he will never be there for you even if you get back together he will leave again.
I don't care how you are being most men are very patient with thier pregnant girl.
He may have wanted to leave before but tried to make it work because of the baby.
You will be raising that kid alone and have a hard time finding a nice guy when you have children
2007-12-19 06:22:09 · answer #4 · answered by lisalisa 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just let it be...This is what he wants. U have a special gift inside that no one can take away... I was in ur shoes a few years back and to make a long story short, I loved my boyfriend so much It didnt matter to me that I was pregnant all I wanted was him. He was too involved with drugs and his friends that he didnt give 2 cents about me. Well after my daughter was born he shaped up a bit but 19 days later my baby died in my arms. I hate my self for not letting go. I hate myself for not paying attention to the things that really mattered. Please do not make the same mistake as I did and dont chase the things that have no value! U have a beautiful life a head of u and i prey u and all women in our situation make the right decision. I have a handsome beautiful little boy know but my baby girl is gone forever! Theres no replacement there. Andrea
2007-12-19 06:29:49 · answer #5 · answered by Drea 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thank your lucky stars you found out what an immature schmuck he was before the baby was born, move on and go for child support. Single parents can do just fine. I raised my son alone until he was 3 and I met and married the right guy. He is now almost 6 and he is great. You do not need the added stress while you are pregnant.
2007-12-19 06:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by kei 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he wants nothing to do with you then list him as the father on the birth certificate when the time comes and sue his sorry a.s for child support. You can even inform him of your intentions now if you so desire and see what happens. It sounds like he was out to do one thing here and he accomplished that, so now he needs to take full responsibility for his actions or pay the price for it. Good luck
2007-12-19 06:38:21 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As hard as it is to hear it let him be. There is no point in chasing after a baby when you have one on the way.. He is not a man as a man regardless of wanting to be with the woman would take care of his responsibility of his children. Also, it was not to smart of you to go along with the parenting idea he wanted with a man who could not buy you a ring and marry you first.
I don't understand you ladies who live with your boyfriends play house wife with no benefits of being married.
2007-12-19 06:36:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont let it hurt yo uif he dosent want to be with you raise the child in a healthy inviorment and make sure if he wants visitation to go through the proper leagel terms children need father figures
2007-12-19 06:22:20 · answer #9 · answered by ashley v 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Child Support.
2007-12-19 06:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋