marriage on a break HELP!?

Question

me and my man have been together for over 4 years wit hone child together. i need a break badly.
how long did you and your spouse have a break for?
when coming back together did it work out?how long?didi it go back to the same thing like before arguing and stuff?
was it worth the break?
how did you both decide it was time to come back and be happy like you once were?
please help me im 22 and its just been so hard with this relationship by love is dieing for him and i dont want that to continue i want to lovehim like i once did.

Answer 1

Nope, you don't get a break. When your relationship is not working you turn TOOOOO the relationship for help. Not away from, not on vacation, not a cease-fire.
You might consider taking your baby and you to a trip to grandma's house for a few days, or go to a lake overnight and listen to the wind blow. You might TELL your husband that you are needing a break from the fighting. Here is how you do it:
No matter what he says or does, you say NOTHING. If he threatens you, or starts yelling, get in a taxi and go to a motel with your baby. If he prevents you from leaving, call the police and have him arrested.(kidnapping)
If you say anything at all, say I am not going to argue, and then DOn't~! It takes 2. He may jump up and down, he will bait you, he will tease, and berate you. Let nothing work.
When he calms down, and you can have a conversation, tell him arguing is over. Tell him it can end with you two figuring out how to talk respectfully and working things out-or it can end with him losing his happy home. Do not make a threat you are not ready to back up! Immediately.
You decide to be happy like you once were. If you can't do it alone then get professional help. Even marriage encounter from a church is helpful. I went alone because he would not go.
Having a child can be very stressful on a couple. You may have post-partum issues. He may want his bed bunny back and has a mommy instead. Who knows?
Ask him and hush while he answers. Don't argue-try to find out what the truth is.
A good idea, no matter how old your baby is, to go on a date with your husband every week. Gives everyone a mini-break, good for the sex dept, too.
Another possiblity is to join the military reserves. Every month you get a weekend away and get paid. Of course, now, you may end up in Iraq.
Good luck.

Answer 2

Well u think about it, how it would be, would u expect him to be alone, or what if he finds someone and his excuse would be because he was alone, u might think differently of this but he might think that this is it, that u're breaking up for good. I don't think it would be a good idea to go on a break, when u were taking ur vowes did u include for better and for worse except when I want to go on a break, no , u just work things out, and if u want to love him like u once did, why not spice things up a bit. Go on a date, ask ur or his parents to babysit while u go out and enjoy each others company, just something different then u usually do, and feelings will come back. Hope it works :)

Answer 3

We took a two week break when she kicked me out for having an affair. The marriage was in ruins, it needed to be scrapped and us start over. Coming back together was tough.

Not unusual that after four years and a little one, your relationship is no longer what you want it to be. You will never love him like you once did. Don't hope for it; how things were got you where you are now.

Much smarter to create a new relationship with this man. You already know a lot about him, you have a child together, clearly you want to be with him or you wouldn't ask for help.

Several reading suggestions:
"Getting The Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix
"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman

Answer 4

I've been married for 21 years. We've had our ups and downs, but we have never taken a break. I don't know what a break from marriage even is, nor what it's supposed to accomplish. I don't see how a break would magically change anything. It seems to me like you would both be exactly the same people when you got back together.

Answer 5

If you feel you need to go then I say do what's best for you. If your married you should take your vows very seriously and try to make it work. As long as he is not abusive to you then do your best honey and stick it out. A split is a split and things may not be the same after what if he meets someone else are you going to be okay with that.

Answer 6

Sounds like you still love him and you want it to work. All marriages go through the "dry period", it's totally natural. You guys need some of alone time away from the baby. Go on dates, romance each other and I guarantee things will get better, but you both have to want it. Sounds like the flame is still there you need to make it roar a little.

Answer 7

If you take a break, don't count on getting back together. Even if you do get back together, don't count on anything having changed unless you've gone to counseling. Even so, it's better to do counseling together. Marriage is rough when you're young and you have a child. Maybe what you really need is a vacation together to reconnect.

Answer 8

if u decide to separate and hope for the best it wont be anything good of this. when u are far the relations gets more cold and u learn to live without that person. we always regret and need the past good moments come back, but once mistakes are done and marriage becomes hell its nearly impossible to go on.

Answer 9

You are married not dating you don't get a break. You need to work it out or get out of it for good, but don't expect him to come back.

Answer 10

Don't know what you want out of this relationship but seperating is not going to fix it. That's the path to a breakup for sure.