Ahhhhh, what the heck... POP QUIZ! (don't worry, it's a small one)?

Question

... and this in no way excuses you from missing tomorrow's Fall Final Exam.

1. If Brittney Spears failed the California driving test, did she think she had to study for the home pregnancy test?

2. When he gets dressed in the morning, Pete Wentz looks at his feminine jeans and croons what Aretha Franklin classic in their general direction?

3. In Alice Zombie Manson's new best seller: F*cked Up Fairy Tales That We All Want To Read, what song was Zakk Wylde maniacally singing over the decapitated body of Jessica Simpson?
a) Head Games
b) Another One Bites the Dust
c) Only Women Bleed
d) Hit Me Baby One More Time

4. Kill, f*ck, or marry: Fred Durst, Sinead O'Connor, Marylin Manson

C'mon y'all... don't be punking out out on the 4th question or you're all gonna fail.

Answer 1

1. If Brittney Spears failed the California driving test, did she think she had to study for the home pregnancy test?

**Of course she did. She bought Cliff notes, though. And had a tutor.

2. When he gets dressed in the morning, Pete Wentz looks at his feminine jeans and croons what Aretha Franklin classic in their general direction?

"You make me feel like a natural woman!"

3. In Alice Zombie Manson's new best seller: F*cked Up Fairy Tales That We All Want To Read, what song was Zakk Wylde maniacally singing over the decapitated body of Jessica Simpson?
a) Head Games
b) Another One Bites the Dust
c) Only Women Bleed
d) Hit Me Baby One More Time

Trick Question! He was, of course, singing "Sweetest Sin."

4. Kill, f*ck, or marry: Fred Durst, Sinead O'Connor, Marylin Manson.

And I'm assuming death is not an option? It's not? Dang.
Okay...
Kill - Fred Durst. Done.
Marry - well, based on the options above, and since ritual suicide is out of the question - Sinead O'Connor of the two, she seems the least offensive. (Plus, this is not recognized in 49 states, so I'd basically be off the hook).
Oh, man. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what's left.
Dangit. Dangitdangitdangitdangit.

::::Wanders away mumbling to self::::

Answer 2

1. If Brittney Spears failed the California driving test, did she think she had to study for the home pregnancy test?
I don't think Britney Spears has passed a test that depends on brains, not hormone detection, since Kindergarten.

2. When he gets dressed in the morning, Pete Wentz looks at his feminine jeans and croons what Aretha Franklin classic in their general direction?
Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You
(But I've Come Close)

[Its a remix.]

3. In Alice Zombie Manson's new best seller: F*cked Up Fairy Tales That We All Want To Read, what song was Zakk Wylde maniacally singing over the decapitated body of Jessica Simpson?
a) Head Games
b) Another One Bites the Dust
c) Only Women Bleed
d) Hit Me Baby One More Time
B!


4. Kill, f*ck, or marry: Fred Durst, Sinead O'Connor, Marylin Manson

Haha I'd rather do nothing with any of them, except maybe kill Durst. I'd totally marry Sinead O'Connor, but I don't flow that way lol.

& Oh, and death to Manson as well.

Answer 3

1. No, I think she got so stressed about the rigerous mental requirements that come with understanding the pregnancy test that she had to go have a drunk to prepare. "Man, plus means....huh...blue..."

2. Chain of Fools of course (edit: oops, I don't know what I thought I read, but it has something to do with seeing croon twice and for one of them thinking it was cronies. I can only take comfort in the fact that I am apparently halucinating at my desk. The real answer is: I Never Loved A Man (The Way I Love You))

3. D - I don't know it just seems amusing to me.

4. Durst, Kill
O'Connor, man, I really have no feelings, negative or positive about her. It's easier to hate than to love so I say kill.
Manson. Option D - High Five

Answer 4

1. If she could read well enough to study for it then perhaps but she obviously can't.

2. "I Say A Little Prayer"

3. A.

4. Kill Fred
F*ck Sinead - she's really quitre atttractive if you look at her.
Marry - Marylin Manson....for the Absinthe!

Answer 5

1. Does she actually know how to study? I'm not so sure that she does.
2. Respect
3. C
4.
Kill - Fred Durst
F*ck - Marilyn Manson
Marry - Sinead, only if it's guaranteed that we can file for immediate divorce.
Since Fred must be down for the kill spot, that leaves me stuck finding a way to deal with the other two.

Answer 6

1. Whatever she thought she had to do is irrelevant because you have to be able to READ in order to study.
2. (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman
3. A seems perfect
4. KILL - Fred Durst needs to be stopped at all costs.
F**K - Sinead, no other option here.
MARRY - Marilyn Manson, then I'll take his *** to divorce court and reap a windfall in alimony.

Answer 7

1. It's sad that she tutored her sister too.

2. I could go with the obvious, but I think it's a hopeful rendition of "Respect".

3. B.

4. I would kill all three.

Edit: wait...you don't think I'm punking out, do you? Alright, here goes...

Fred Durst - I would beat him senseless with a mike stand.
Sinead O'Connor - it would be a gruesome death by hair clippers.
Marilyn Manson - I'd hang him by a pair of his own fishnets.

Wait a minute...I have to kill, f*ck or marry one of the three of them, using all three options? Oops...I misunderstood.

I hate this question.

Kill - Fred Durst
F*ck - Marilyn Manson (I'd be crying the whole time - you know he repulses me)
Marry - Sinead O'Connor

Answer 8

1- Yes (that stupid @$$)
2- R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
3- Not that I honestly know, but I am picking C based on knowledge of the other three options
4- This reminds me of a certain album from Metallica. I would do the deed by lining them all up in a row and using one single teflon bullet fired from a Glock .45.

Answer 9

1) When did she ever study for anything?
2) '(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman'
3) C
4) Kill ; Kill ; Kill

Answer 10

1 yes, assuredely so
2 R-e-s-p-e-c-t that's what delusional teens give to me!
3 a) head Games
4
Fred Durst.....Kill
Sinead....F*ck no doubt
Marilyn....Kill For Sure