We have a daughter who is 2 and I am almost 12 weeks pregnant. I wanted to stay home with our daughter after she was born but my husband insisted I go back to work so I did. I know we could afford it with me not working but he says it's not fair to him. Our house is always dirty because working full time and being pregnant has taken all of my energy that I have left...I swear this may sound gross but i'm sure our dishes havent been done in weeks....he works swing shift so he even gets days off during the week but doesnt want to help around the house and expects me to do it all. So I told him that if I could stay home I would make sure the house was always clean and there was always dinner on the table every night...but he still refuses?!?!?! What am I susposed to do?? Please help...
2007-12-19 05:04:30 · 17 answers · asked by It's a Girl!!! 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
My only problem right now not being able to quit because I carry the insurance....but I gave him unitl after the baby was born to find another job...but he just laughs...and told me that he was keeping the job he had if that was the case....
2007-12-19 05:20:23 · update #1
Maybe talk to him about staying hom from 7 months until the baby is 6 months to allow yourself time to adjust. Maybe if he sees you can do a lot better as a parent and a wife he will change his mind. If that doesn't work then maybe you could just work part time 15-20 hours per week for now.
2007-12-19 05:11:00 · answer #1 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to make him understand that just because you're not going to a "job" that doesn't mean you won't have one. He obviously doesn't see mother or housekeeper as something he deems worthy of work...and of course he would never do any of that himself because that's your DUTY! Try to make a deal...tell him to let you stay home for 6 months and if after that he doesn't see what a difference it makes then you'll go back to work. But keep reminding him of all the extra cash you'll save from commuting and childcare.
Some men are just pig headed cavemen though...and he may never see being a mother or house wife as a job. He would definately change his tune if you were taken out of the picture and had to try to do what you do! And even without being pregnant he could never handle it!
2007-12-19 05:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by Shiningami_Gurl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could try working at home telecommuting jobs
I worked for workathomeagent for almost 2 years pay was always on time i worked about 16 hours a week before i just got tired of talking on the phone.
http://www.workathomeagent.com/
You make $0.25 per minute taking calls/orders for TV Infomercials and the Home Shopping Club.
http://www.liveops.com/
Almost the same thing as workathomeagent but a little more money
$0.35 per minute.
http://www.alpineaccess.com/external/becomeAgent.html
Customer service work. Pay is $9.00 per hour shifts are 4-5 hours long.
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2007-12-19 05:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by Steffie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that staying home means the dishes will be clean . and being pregnant doesn't mean you don't go to work . but your husband is wrong in accepting such a dirty house . you two should come up with a solution . maybe the kind of work you have is not appropriate in the first place . maybe you should leave it for good .
2007-12-19 05:20:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your kids DESERVE to stay at home with Mom instead of a daycare. At least until they go to school. These days you can't trust no-one. Why should someone else raise your child if you can afford to stay home. It is not about what is best for HIM. It is ALL about the kids. There is no way I would let someone else bond with my baby while I am at work. Unless you absolutely cannot afford to stay home you need to stay home. I feel it is worth sacrificing some things in order to stay home with the kids. You are the Mom and YOU decide what is best for the kids. I am not saying you don't share decisions with your hubby but ultimately YOU are the mama and they need you to protect them.
2007-12-19 05:17:55 · answer #5 · answered by Holy Believer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that he is not having another baby, and he will never know what it is like to be pregnant. It is a HUGE stress on your body.
Explain to him that you would rather raise your children than have an organization or daycare do it. It is NOT easy to be a SAHM, IT IS WORK! Otherwise, we could just leave the kids at home all day and not pay a daycare to look after them. He is being very selfish right now and you need to tell him that he is putting himself before his children AND before his wife.
2007-12-19 05:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by lisa_nicole 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I worked at homestead with my 1st until eventually she replaced into 20 months previous and then I took a factor time activity out of the homestead and nevertheless worked from homestead so i ought to nevertheless help with the money yet nevertheless be in a place to bathe homestead and if my hubby replaced into fortunate make dinner as quickly as a week (ha ha)! i'm 22 weeks with #2 and my daughter would be 3 next month. i'm due in April and my purpose is to industry myself and get greater artwork to do at homestead so i'd be an entire-time artwork/stay at homestead mom while the newborn is born. solid luck!
2016-10-02 02:58:53 · answer #7 · answered by hannula 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you think thats bad?! my fiance thinks he should be the one to stay at home with the kids while I work! if one of us had to i guess it probably would be him because i have a better job and make a lot more money, but we still need his income so i said no! i wish i could but its just not a possibility. i see where he is coming from though, he will feel like he is working his butt off to pay the bills and that you dont have to worry about any of that. and maybe with you not working there will be less 'play' money for the family to use to enjoy his time off.
2007-12-19 05:11:46 · answer #8 · answered by blondie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would do the math and show him the numbers:
cost of childcare/daycare vs. your salary
also, look into how much it would cost to have a cleaning service come in once a week. See what he would prefer: paying childcare for 2 babies and a cleaning service, or having you stay home.
2007-12-19 05:16:51 · answer #9 · answered by Heath 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave him... He feels its not fair that he has to work and you get to stay home. Yet on his days off he doesnt want to help keep the house in order. Does that sound fair that you work, take care of the kids and try to keep the house up by yourself. He sounds pretty immature and selfish to me.
2007-12-19 05:10:04 · answer #10 · answered by puglyparker 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋