My bf is hispanic & he wants his mom to watch our 1yr old while we are in the hospital having our 2nd baby?

Question

She does not speak english and i cant understand very much spanish. Am i wrong for not feeling comfortable with letting her watch my baby while we r gone for a couple days? I feel uncomfortable with it bc i cant commuicate with her even though he can i want to be able to talk to her and tell her things about the baby and things she likes and what she is used to. and plus i want her to be able to play with my nephew who is 4 months older than her so she will be occupied some while we r gone bc she has never spent a night away from us much less been gone away from us for a very long period at a time!! I need advice about what i should do!!!

Answer 1

Well, she obviously knows how to raise and care for children, because you are with her son - so I don't think you have to worry. Obviously, any mother would be concerned if you can't give the specific directions as to what your baby likes, because only you know that. Could the grandmother bring your daughter to the hospital to visit you? That's a way you could check up on her to see that she is doing okay without hurting feelings.

Answer 2

Well I guess this isn't a popular opinion, but I am on your side. I don't think that I would care about a language barrier, but if you are uncomfortable, don't allow it.

And I don't get the argument others are giving that since your boyfriend is alive, obviously your daughter will be ok. She raised him at least a couple decades ago. A lot has changed. Car seats, knowledge about nutrition, etc. People used to give whiskey for teething...

And I'm fairly certain that grandmothers love watching their grandkids just so that they can do all the things the mothers tell them not to do!

The bottom line is, you're the mother. Do what you think is best.

Answer 3

Talk it over with your boyfriend and tell him how you fill. Do you have anyone else that could watch your child? Discuss your options and what would be best for your child. Also don't hold it against your child's grandmother just because she speaks another language, just have your boyfriend tell her everything she needs to know. But if you feel uncomfortable because you don't trust her then don't leave your child with her period.
The only other thing I can think of is that when we had our third child my husband did not stay at the hospital with me overnight he came home and stayed with the older two children who were 4 and 15 months at the time.

Also you are not wrong for feeling uncomfortable, mothers have an intuition and you should follow what you feel.

Good Luck and Congrats.

Answer 4

I have the same issues with my husband and his mother. She doesn't speak much English, and I do have some trust issues. But last week she watched my son and nothing happened. I had my husband translate everything and also left several emergency contact numbers. My main concern was what she would do in case of an emergency. Luckily for you, almost everyone in America knows Spanish nowadays. She did a good job raising your husband so you shouldn't worry. And you can always call and check up on your baby if you're that worried.

Answer 5

There really is no right answer to your question. Whether to vaccinate or not or which vaccines to get is a pretty personal matter. You should discuss this with your doctor who can give you the facts about each vaccine and the risks associated with getting the illnesses they are designed to protect your child from. I guess, ultimately, you need to ask yourself the question with each of the illnesses, will it be OK if my child gets this disease? What will your criteria be for bare minimum? Just illnesses that your child could die from or illnesses that may cause handicaps? Perhaps it would be helpful to research each individual illness and make pros and cons about getting the illness and the risk of getting it. I am mom to 4 children who all received the full recommended dosages of all the immunizations. They were all healthy, active, and strong at 1 year, too. Nothing is 100% needed to be vaccinated against, but there are probably some illness with greater risk than others.

Answer 6

First of all her not speaking english should have nothing to do with anything. I think you have hidden dislike stowards the culture because why else would you feel uncomfortable? Unless there's something you haven't said. She's a grandma and before that a mother. How do you think she took care of your boyfriend?? She doesn't know how to speak english, but what about you learning spanish? It is the second biggest language! Maybe instead of having doubts about her next time look at what you could do differently like educating yourself too.

Answer 7

Why would it matter, if your baby is only a year old? It isnt as though the difference in language will be an actual barrier anymore than the fact that a 1 year old doesn't speak in sentences yet. I wouldn't worry about it.
You don't specify if your boyfriends mom is your baby's grandmother, but if she is, it seems off that you would be this uptight and anxious about her caring for her grandchild. You should be spending time learning to communicate with her, if she wants to spend time with your children - learn some spanish and help her learn some english.

Answer 8

I am sure that your future mother-in-law would not do anything to harm her granddaughter. You have to trust her. She's a mother too, remember? This lack of trust may be and may cause tension in not only the relation ship between you and your bf's mother but the two of you as well. You don't have to be able to speak any particular language to be able to tell what to do with a one year old. I understand you're apprehension but your daughter will be fine. Don't stress - concentrate on getting that new baby into the world safely. Happy holidays!

Answer 9

my grandson is Hispanic and white his grandmother also can't speak any English but she loves her grandson as much as I do my daughter also trust es her to babysit for her in fact she babysits more than I do because I also have a granddaughter and they are 3 months apart in age one is 9 mo and the other 6 mon. my granddaughter has a grandmother who doesn't want anything to do with her so I end up babysitting more for her but anyway this is your child and if your motherly instincts say she will hurt your child then no but if she loves her and will take very good care of her let her what can a 1 year old and a 4 month old play anyway.

Answer 10

She'll be fine, relax. Write down a list of things she really needs to know, and have your b/f translate it for her. Mind you, I don't get why your b/f will be away a couple of days? Surely he can nip home once the baby's born, and go back to collect you both? In UK hospitals he'd only be able to stay with you all the time if there was something drastically the matter with one or both of you, which I assume there isn't. you don't even bother going to the hospital till you're fairly well dilated. My second, I was home again with my bundle of joy inside 26 hours of leaving home, even with a minor hiccup after the labour (me, not her).