When my husband & I have sex, I can always tell when he has masturbated within the last 10 hours or so. It's just not the same and I feel like I'm getting "leftovers". (Same meaning not as big, hard, etc.) I don't mind him doing it, don't get me wrong, I just wish I could get some without getting the leftovers. I want it & give it to him at least once a day so I don't understand why he can't just wait for me. If it didn't seem "different", I wouldn't care. He's in between jobs and is home all day for the next 3 weeks and I know what he does when he gets "bored". So, now I feel like I have to wait 3 weeks for some GOOD sex. Why can't he just wait and why is it so different when he does masturbate, prior to us having sex, verses when he doesn't? Are all men this way?
2007-12-19 04:53:06 · 20 answers · asked by Nina Lee 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
LOL, my husband isn't cheating on me or getting it elsewhere, I'm 100% sure of that. (And, no, I'm not being naive.)
2007-12-19 05:07:58 · update #1
We have talked about it. He knows I can tell a difference but that doesn't seem to stop him from waiting until I get home. I don't want to nag him about it so I'm asking here b/c I'm just trying to find out if it's normal. I don't remember noticing this with past boyfriends.
2007-12-19 05:09:52 · update #2
No, he's not addicted to porn.
2007-12-19 05:39:09 · update #3
laceandcurls... I agree, most men don't do it every day when they are getting the real thing. He seems to be the exception.
He's in between jobs b/c he is starting a new one and his old employer wasn't too happy about it and let him go before the date on his resignation letter. That's a whole other story.
2007-12-19 05:41:35 · update #4
Oh Nina! I had to laugh because my husband is soooo similar!! And to the ignorant poster....no, it does NOT mean our husband's are "doing someone else". What a moron...only a guy would answer like that! Anyways, my husband always tells me when he does it...okay, ew...TMI....and I do notice the difference, but it's not a huge one...I mean difference in the hardness, amount, etc!!! Ohh...goodness, and I'm at work right now!! (fans herself)
So, have you talked to your husband about it? What does he say? And once a day....wow!! My husband would be jealous! We just went EIGHT weeks without it!! I think every couple is different though...different needs and wants.
I really hope this all works out for you!!
2007-12-19 05:05:28 · answer #1 · answered by Lovin' Life As Mama & Wife 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You didnt say if he has access to porn. It makes a big difference. Having sex with lots of beautiful women that you have no obligation to is more satisfying than the same woman.` Whats more porn as you know is addictive. That explains why not wait. You are right about left overs because the energy is different. As he gets older you will probably find sex becomes more about energy and less about wall banging pleasure. Talking to him and letting him know you can tell the difference brings it out into the open. The question of the century is if he will want to work on the problem. It ofcourse will be a lot easier if he wants to do better. If you are not careful you will lose his trust and respect by being insensitive and demanding. Try to understand that if all men are the same then all women are too and that is not fair. We are all different!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love Grampa B
2007-12-19 05:28:53 · answer #2 · answered by Grampa B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
huh. i prefer it when a guy m/b's first.... he lasts longer and tastes better!! :D Why can't he wait? Of course he can wait. He chooses not to because he doesn't want to. And no, not all men are that way. But you knew that. It's pretty obvious that sex is a major part of your relationship, and that for the most part, you both find it mutually satisfying. Consider yourselves very very lucky. Three weeks is nothing compared to a lifetime together. If this problem continues to mount though and you find that he prefers m/b to giving you even the leftovers, or that it's inteferring significantly with your lives together, that's something else entirely.
2007-12-19 05:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by barbarella 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmmmmmm I dont know about all men.. Have you asked him about it?//
Tell him how it makes you feel and that you can notice a difference.. that could be all it takes..
He might be doing this so he lasts longer... doesnt *** too quickly when you guys do do it...
I have never had that problem myself.. that I am aware of.. no one has ever said anything to me about it at any rate.. I seem to be just as hard.. etc.. the only difference being a little less "volume" in the amount of ejaculate if I have masturbated within the last couple of hours...
2007-12-19 04:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stress takes a toll on all of the men around, and yes some get board, and do things of the such, but been called leftovers, that is a new one, take time and sit down and talk to him, change something sexual, try new things, sit down and search the net, and try to find something different that will spice up yours and his sex life, talk to him about trying something called control, it is like giving him something for is wait for you, play a sex game that allows you to say something like you can't do anything till i get home, tease him make him want you even more, thier are many ways ,, i could go on and on .
2007-12-19 05:03:27 · answer #5 · answered by Iceman T 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Geez is his masturbation the reason he is between jobs? I know men masturbate but most don't do it daily especially when they are getting laid on a regular basis. My husband is the opposite, when he masturbates, it gets harder during sex. Never feels like "leftovers".
2007-12-19 05:34:07 · answer #6 · answered by Leather and Lace 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The strange thing it shouldn't make a difference whether he masturbates or not. You really shouldn't notice, except to the amount of sperm released.
More so if it has been 10 hours or so as you mentioned, there is something else there.
2007-12-19 05:39:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...Let me say this...Are you in the mood as much as he is...men will masturbate whenever the time and the erge is readily available...It is normal...we love to do it...And it is something that we can take control of when it seems that everything else around us as well as our sex-lives is not under our control sex is amazing for us anyway we can get it baby...Just try to see if maybe you can get on board with his drive and it should be smiles all around for you both...Talking about it now with you..Has put me in the mood so excuse me please but I need some private time now...Lmao...
2007-12-19 06:16:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answering only for myself, an ex-girlfriend did mention that she noticed same thing as you. That was then, this is now; as long as I get laid regularly, I have no desire to engage in extra-curricular activities by myself. Everyone is different though and if you're getting it daily, you're getting more than I am. As for your hubby, he must be a sexual athlete.
2007-12-19 05:49:27 · answer #9 · answered by JackO07 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Turn him down one night and attact him in the morning, You will get the first one of the day that way. Then when he gets "bored" later he will have to deal with the left over one.
2007-12-19 06:53:21 · answer #10 · answered by chinamigarden 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋