I have been VERY happily married for 18 yrs now. however my husband flirts all the time non-stop 24/7. Even our children have called him on it. I will admit i have issue's with this and get VERY jealous towards the woman getting his admiration. Yes I know that i knew this before marrying him. I guess I just assumed he'd stop. I have had several conversations with him about this and he says he doesn't do it. Can anyone offer some suggestions....I would greatly appreciate it!
2007-12-19 04:25:41 · 18 answers · asked by Spacey~Stacey's Place 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all I would just like to say DON'T listen to all these negative people griping about "well you knew he was like this, why did you marry him". Nothing about his flirting is your fault. My husband flirts too but it doesn't bother me because I know he just has a very outgoing personality and he's just like that. I guess the biggest question is will your husband's flirting lead to something else with another woman. If not then I would say that you should consider yourself lucky to have been in such a happy marriage, I mean he might flirt to boost his own ego but if it's not something to be concerned about then you should just look at is as he may flirt with other women but he married the one he wants to be with. My husband and I are very happy because even though he may flirt (all friendly nothing inappropriate) he still compliments me and makes me feel great.
2007-12-19 05:02:41 · answer #1 · answered by angel32984 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
well my dear - if I were to speak plainly as if I did not know you, I would tell you that you can't change him especially if you knew this going into the marriage. You don't marry someone hoping they will change, you marry someone because they are as perfect a match for you as there is out there in the wide world. If this didn't bother you before, you have to look at what changed WITHIN you so that it bothers you now vs. 18 yrs ago. Of course your self esteem is a major factor in this as well as trust and security in the marriage and you know this can break a marriage. I guess maybe you should take some time to think if you want to be in this marriage as it is now, forever or not. I honestly couldnt imagine either of you with anyone else knowing you and knowing how long you have been together. I can say play the game back but games do not get you anywhere except further hurt. Altho I can never resist giving someone a taste of their own medicine. So the bottom line is, talk to him, tell him how it makes you feel. See what he says and go from there.
2007-12-19 05:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by bbq 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he is just having harmless fun at your expense. It is not right if it makes you uncomfortable, but however It could be the fantasy he has by flirting that keeps him from straying. also if he is a people person it makes him feel good to cut up, and since he does it in front of you,, be glad he is not doing it behind your back.
Now for the test,, next time you go out in public, flirt a little with a guy right in front of him, if he says anything just tell him well that is what you do,, chances are he will just laugh at what you did and say cool, and not make a big deal out of it,, if he dont, then he doesnt see the flirting as harmfull
2007-12-19 05:48:09 · answer #3 · answered by john d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It don't matter if you knew or how long you've been married...you married him because you loved him and he is out going and fun to be with and yes it hurts watching him flirt and make eye contact with other women. I know first hand and it don't get any easier...it hurts and we can speak up and we can say how we feel and how it's breaking our hearts but it won't matter they will say I'm not doing that and be all defendant..... we just say ok what ever
I was once told to start flirting like he is make eye contact like he does and when he sees someone else looking and flirting with you like he isn't and when he says hey that's new or you shouldn't do that or gets upset with the other male for giving you attention that he isn't or is giving to another than you say what you do it.... put that shoe on the other foot! personally I have not had the nerve to do it yet but it is coming....
2015-05-17 23:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by CAROL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and tell him you're sick of the flirting. It shows his lack of respect for you and especially if he's doing it in front of the children.
Then, let him know you cannot deal with the constant flirting and that it's an issue the two of you need to work out. He needs to compromise with you and stop, out of respect at least. If he loves you enough there should be no need to flirt with anyone else.
And, if he refuses, tell him you want to see a professional in marriage counseling to help resolve this recurring issue.
2007-12-19 04:56:47 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This type of man everyone loves! I dated a couple of them.
They are so fun to be around life of the party that is part of the reason why you liked him.
This is also why when I look to get married again I love my shy guy never have to worry.
I would tell you this most women who he flirts with probably feels bad for you.
There is nothing you can do you two be married for so long it makes me wonder why is it bothering you now?
Have you recently put on weight or feel like your aging?
Anyway what I would do is get a hair cut put on some fresh make-up maybe loose a little wieght you know look like a hotty, and then when he starts flirting let all the women look at you like "Wow she looks good not wow I feel bad for her"?
Good luck!
2007-12-19 04:39:36 · answer #6 · answered by lisalisa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He honestly may not be intending to flirt. He may just have a very outgoing personality that most people would see as flirting. If you've already talked to him about it, there's not much else you can do.
2007-12-19 04:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Umm, tell him to flirt w/you. Flirting really to me, isn't that bad...now proceeding into the next step is. As long as you know it's his personality, then don't take it personal, and ask him to flirt w/you a lot more
2007-12-19 04:36:39 · answer #8 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Focusing on his good qualities, and trying to accept and overlook what you can't change would be my suggestion. If his eyes were blue when you married him, chances are they'll stay blue for the rest of his life no matter how much you'd want to change them to brown. Some things you just have to learn to live with if you love the person overall.
2007-12-19 04:32:11 · answer #9 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If this has been going on for 18 years wow, good for you for your tolerance. Sounds like he is self centered and really has not put much thought into making you feel special. Sounds like you have to accept it or keep talking to a brick wall. If you have talked with him before about this and he doesn't understand what your talking about after 18 years why keep worring. Count your blessings.
2007-12-19 04:41:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋