She is not his, he ver addopted her, she has my last name and always has, he has raised her since she was born, she is now two, but we got divorced, and he has no stable place to live, he is crazy and he is daiting a 18 year old plus her friend at the same time together. I fear for her life.
2007-12-19 04:11:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER HE WAS THE PERFECT FATHER, EXCEPT HIS ANGER GOT THE BEST OF HIM MOST OF THE TIME, HE SPANKED HER AND LEFT HAND PRINTS ON HER, I KNOW HE LOVES HER BUT HE LIVES WITH TWO DIFFERENT WOMEN, SLEEPING WITH BOTH, PLUS HAS TWO 18 YEAR OLD GF'S IF THEY ARE EVEN 18, HE IS 29, HE WORKS ALL NIGHT AND SLEEPS ALL DAY LONG. PLUS WHEN HE LEFT ME I STAYED AT THE APT, THEN I LEFT AND HE CAME BACK, THEN HE LEFT AND MOVED IN WITH THESE WOMEN, HE MAKES 16 AND HOUR, HE CAN AFFORD A PLACE TO LIVE ON HIS OWN, AND NOT TO MENTION HE HAS HIS GF'S CALL ME AND THREATEN ME, GOT MY NUMBER CHANGED, HE CALLS MY WORK. NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.
2007-12-19 05:26:12 · update #1
I think there was a slight typo, did you mean to say never adopted her? Whether or not he did adopt her, I think he shouldn't see her. And since I am assuming you meant never, I believe he has no legal claim to visitation...but I don't know for sure. Just to be on the safe side, I would recommend you get a restraining order, prohibiting him to come near her. It sounds like he is a pretty messed up guy, and I don;t think you want your daughter spending time with him, maybe when she is older she can choose for herself, but for now, if he spends time with her, that could cause gaps in her moral upbringing of right vs wrong, and we have no idea what he does with his 2 little girlfriends, but likely, they wouldn't be very good stepmothers, so I say keep him away
Good luck. Its great you are looking out for your daughters safety :)
2007-12-19 04:17:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please excuse me for taking what you say with a grain of salt but I've had experience from both sides which is why I want all information before responding. It sounds like your divorce ended not so nicely and everything you said is exactly what a person would need to say to a judge to avoid visitation.
No stable place to live - how long have you been divorced and who got the house?
He is crazy - puts to his mental state
Dating an 18 yr old - well she's of age so really there's nothing illegal here.
You fear for your child's life - did you not fear for her life in the 2 yrs you were married to him? What has he done that puts her in danger?
I'm all for doing things in the best interest of the kids! I do realize there are people out there that have no business being around kids because they aren't in the greatest living conditions or mental health. But I also know of people who are perfectly sane, good parents, that just go through struggles from time to time like any normal human being does...and people can make them out to be bad parents by getting them while they're down.
I think that if everything you stated above is true, there's no reason to be asking a question as you know the answer. If she's not his child, he has no legal rights to her. But if you're saying the things above because you don't WANT him to see her (rather then her being in danger) than you're just making excuses as to why she can't see him.
Obviously you can do as you need to do for your daughter. But I also believe that if you two just divorced and you don't get along because of it, that the child is innocent in all this and even if he's not her biological father, she IS the only father she's ever known. So I suppose I should be saying to be real with yourself and put down pros and cons. If you really feel like he's a danger to your kid, then go ahead with your life and leave him behind. Your child safety comes first always!
** ADD **
Did you ever file any police reports during the time you guys were married? I mean, if my spouse was abusing my child, leaving marks, I'd leave his *** very quickly and get him for child abuse. I'd make damn sure he never touched my child again and I'd do everything to legally protect my child. And also, if he was harassing me at work I'd also be filing a restraining order to keep him away from my home, my job, and my kid's daycare....
If you're serious about protecting your child, then do it the right way....
2007-12-19 04:44:46 · answer #2 · answered by Momto2inFL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice going.
Forget all that crap and find out what is wrong with you that you would even have a relationship with this kind of man.
You need to make sure you are not going to jump back in bed with the next criminal because he will be just as dangerous as the last felon you slept with.
Grow up and take care of your daughter! The world will have plenty of drug addicted strippers in 16 years, we won't need you formerly neglected daughter on stage.
Merry Christmas
2007-12-19 04:17:33 · answer #3 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something for the courts to decide. If you and they decide to keep him away from her you better start thinking NOW about how you're going to explain his absence to a two year old.
Just because she's not "biologically" his does not mean she is not "his daughter". There's alot more to parenting than biology...keep that in mind. Also, he must not be TOO crazy...he did love you and wanted to be with you despite you having a newborn from another guy...lots of guys would run from you in that position.
2007-12-19 04:15:56 · answer #4 · answered by laura1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see a lot of assumptions made here. He has no place to live? Where is he staying? dating an 18 year old? How old is he? How old are you? Fear for her life? Why? Has he done something?
2007-12-19 04:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by Slick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what does dateing a 18 year old have to do with fearing for ones life??
If he adopted her, leave it up to him if he makes a court date to fight for custody. WE only have the right to keep fathers or mothers for that fact away from their children, if it court ordered, or if you have possitive proof that there is danger!
Alot of custodial parents think they have a right to keep the other parents from seeing the kids just because their not getting child support! That is not right!
2007-12-19 04:19:04 · answer #6 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For you it should be ok to keep her from him, but sorry to say these days its up to the courts to decide. Keep track of his unstability and his social habits. Write them down so if a judge questions his actions then you can bring the issues up.
And always bring up the safety factor. You WANT your kid safe and grow up in a stable environment.
2007-12-19 04:16:46 · answer #7 · answered by leoheart30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That's one messed up dude. Lol. Ok, you should be honest to your daughter when she's older. Tell her everything that has happened and why you kept her away from him. But at the age of 2, I would keep her away from him. He is a very awful influence on her.
2007-12-19 04:15:42 · answer #8 · answered by ♥The Girl He Thinks Of♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that he is a negative influence on your daughter and you legitimately fear for her safety then it is your OBLIGATION to keep her away from him. If you are worried that you may be to close to the situation to be objective then get the opinions of people you trust. But if he has no legal claim to her and he is dangerous you should keep her away from him.
2007-12-19 04:45:12 · answer #9 · answered by meestaben 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on she is still young because trust me once he gets a women involve she will tell him that is not your kid and push them apart anyway.
If she was over 10 years old I would say keep the relationship but she is little girl she will not remember
2007-12-19 04:20:52 · answer #10 · answered by lisalisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋