How can I influence a reference which I think unfair?

Question

I am thinking of going to college next year poss to do nursing or childcare etc.I know which one I want to go to.However I have been in trouble abit at school nothing major jus swearing and dissing but the last was a misunderstanding.My teachers have had a go at times but I think I am misunderstood,they mentioned that with my record not to be expecting a good reference,this is unfair as it will hamper my chances

(It wasn't at a teacher but another kid that I dissed )but I really am misunderstood as I am ok ie not a BRAT its just that I am not always clear. I think it unfair that mistakes I made follow you thru life,this means I'll never get a chance and I will be more misunderstood! I want to know if other kids in this situation ,and teachers if u really would screw up ,someones life cos of trivial things that have been done.

Answer 1

Swearing and dissing teachers can catch up with you - as you have just found out... It's particularly true in that it shows a lack of respect and the further up the education chain you go, the more respect becomes an issue. You think swearing and disrespect may be 'minor' issues, but respect is crucial in the nursing profession and swearing as a childcare assistant would be unacceptable. So I think that unless you express a deep and profound regret and stop making excuses for yourself like 'misunderstanding', then i think your teachers should, for the benefit of the college and other applicants provide you with the reference that they see fit.

Answer 2

Did you ever hear of the Vietnam war and the student demonstrations at Kent State and Berkeley.

At Kent State students were shot by Federal Troops for dissing the country.

The funny thing is they all got into college!

College is going to ask you for an interview or essay, this will be your chance to show, logically and persuasively, what you are all about.

College likes students who take bulls by the horns

But just make sure you have good Kung Fu

You take a bull by the horns get a good grip and don't let go no matter what.

You take a professor on be credible or keep quiet.

They don't want to hear YOUR Rheotric or opinions, they want you to cite expert rhetoric and opinions, even if they are in a minority view.

Fiona Apple didn't spout her own Rhetoric at the grammys, she qouted Maya Angelou

Marlon Brando didn't to the Oscars and spout off abut American natives, he sent an American Native.

You can't argue with either approach.

In college YOU aren't ALLOWED to hold a personal opinion until you are a DOCTORIAL candate

Until then, you CITE opinions of EXPERTS in YOUR DEFENSE of YOUR views.

And college loves this.

They LOVE you to have die hard views and they love it even more when you CITE experts without being told to look them up!

The classic case was UCLA teacher Angela Davis, a black communist teaching history at UCLA who was put on public trial to see if she should be dismissed.

I was 15 at the time and couldnt understand WHY this was happening.

I mean that's college and it's history and she has a point of view that is radically different.

One would think that would be an asset.

She won, of course.

Answer 3

when I write references for my students I avoid saying anything bad and your teachers should do the same (it's normal!)
We do use the threat of a bad reference as a control method sometimes. Not honest but it works.
However there is nothing we can do about your attendance , punctuality and exam results. Get these right and any employer will overlook what you might of done when you were younger. Oh, and be honest in an interview. If you had a row with a teacher, admit it if asked and take the blame for your part. It's what adults "should" do.
Mostly employers want someone who turns up on time every day and is dedicated to doing the job (finishing the course etc.)

Answer 4

Don't worry. People won't take much notice of that sort of thing. As long as you are respectful and polite at your interviews. The best thing to do is get a part time job, to show that you can work hard and be responsible, and ask them for a reference for college. In the meantime, keep your nose clean. It's nice to be nice. Treat other people as you'd like to be treated.
I screwed up at your age, but when you leave school and mature, you change. Good luck and be good.

Answer 5

Unfair? Sounds to me like you needed an attitude adjustment.

If you were swearing at a teacher and disrespecting them, you deserve to written up and yes it IS "major".

You see what is happening now? You are finding that you can't get away with bad behavior, it has come to bite you in the butt. A lesson for you. I hope you learned it well or you will be doomed to repeat it.

Answer 6

Even though what you did is wrong, it is illegal for anyone to give you a bad reference.
They can either provide a good reference, or not provide one at all.

As people have already said, someone who is impolite and uses bad language is unsuitable for working as a nurse, and especially working with children, so it is a major issue.

You need to change your ways, and show your teachers that you have stopped the bad language and 'dissing', and convince them that you would be suitable for working in your chosen career.