Although I am uncomfortable to admit this but... ever since I met my husband, I have never been able to "go off" or "orgasm". I'm getting to that point where I feel like us making love is pointless because I don't get an enjoyment out of it. I think we went 2 weeks without having sex and my husband would try to influence me but before I could, I think of what will happen once we're done > nothing. During that time he brought up the idea of cheating, due to my lack of wanting some. He enjoys himself and I can't. Do I think too much or am I just plain out weird? With my ex, I used to enjoy myself. I've only had 2 men in my life, my ex and my husband. I ask because last week, for the 1st time I went off and I thought that feeling would continue so when we did it again, nothing. Is he not touching the right spots or is it my fault?
2007-12-19 03:53:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How can you not know why you're not having orgasms? As a man, I would think the reason would be obvious, so I'm sorry I can't be very empathetic. Perhaps you should try masturbating, touching yourself to discover how you like to be stimulated. Once you figure how what makes you orgasm, it would then be a simple matter of directing your husband. Undoubtedly, he would like for you to climax, so I'm sure he won't mind the direction.
2007-12-19 03:59:54 · answer #1 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you are probably concentrating on the whole 'getting off' part and drawing all of your attention to the end of the sex than actually enjoying the whole thing from begining to end. if you find yourself looking up at the sealing when you two are making love, or that your mind is wondering about what to cook for dinner, what the kids did, work etc etc then most likely you will not enjoy sex because your mind is preoccupied with all these other thoughts. so make sure when you two are ready to get it on, concentrate on that moment. pay attention to your husband and his touch/kiss etc etc. then i am sure you might be able to get off. if this does not work, it could be that you husband doesnt touch you the right places so why not teach/show him. you had previous experience so you know what you ex did to get you off, show him those tricks. peace
2007-12-19 04:03:46 · answer #2 · answered by mama2be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him when he hits the right spot and tell him to lick right here and you can add some sex toys in to the mix they have worked wonders in some relationships.. If i didn't orgasm every time i would feel the same as you what would be the point..
2007-12-19 04:01:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexual intimacy is any physical touching or sexual behavior that may result in sexual arousal, orgasm, sexual gratification, or pleasure. Intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, fondling and other physical manipulations can be seen as sexual intimacy. People may be able to verbally communicate regarding their preferences, needs, desires and feelings in this area.
Emotional intimacy is the sharing of emotional feelings, thoughts, and self-disclosure of ones innermost thoughts to ones mate or significant other via communicative, verbal means. Conversations, listening and communications of a private, personal nature can be seen as emotional intimacy.
For some couples, both sexual and emotional intimacy is present in the relationship. On the other hand, a male and a prostitute can engage in sexual intimacy, but there may not be any emotional intimacy in this. In some marriages, there is much emotional sharing, self-disclosure and quality communication, but for whatever physical or medical reason, there may be no, or little sexual intimacy.
Communication can be verbal or non-verbal attempts to make contact, or communicate with another person in an interpersonal relationship about sexual or emotional needs or feelings. This paper will discuss some of the barriers to emotional and sexual intimacy and cursorily review some of the main concerns and theorists in this realm.
2007-12-19 04:24:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't be ashamed to show him where the "g spot" is. Otherwise, it may take a lifetime before he figures it out. Also, sex - orgasim can be mental. Do you think you may have a mental block that prevents you from reaching that point? If this is your only problem you really don't have a problem just need to open up and step outside the box.
2007-12-19 04:08:01 · answer #5 · answered by QuEEn B 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Part of a great sexual life together is teaching him what feels good to you....Have you done that? If you are just expecting him to get you off without letting him know where you like to be touched ....then you may be waiting a long time....If he brought up the idea of cheating.....then I am willing to bet he will eventually do it...
2007-12-19 03:59:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
no, it isn't your fault. it sounds as if your husband is only interested in getting himself off, a common problem, rather than being concerned with you having the big O. he brought up cheating not because of you, but because of him. we men can be extremely selfish as i am sure you have learned, particularly when it comes to sex. one wonders if when you "went off" last week you were thinking more of your "ex" and the pleasure he gave you, than your current, and the pleasure he isn't. again, it isn't you sweetie.
2007-12-19 04:11:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's more than likely cause your trying to hard to reach the big O.
Why not masterbate when he's not around and figure what turns you on. They make some real nice dildos that hit the right spots. If you can get your hands on one called the "beaver", it's a good one!
It's not your fault the guy doesn't turn you on. Show him what you want. If he loves you, he will listen and try to please you!!
2007-12-19 04:08:15 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Relax.
You are never going to go off while stressing yourself out about it.
Quit being one of these crazy, "all or nothing" kind of woman. Besides, doesn't sex still feel good if you don't go off?
I think you just need to be patient. According to my research, women in there 30's seem to have no problem going off.
Merry Christmas
2007-12-19 04:01:59 · answer #9 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have not communicated the where the "right spots" are, then it is your problem. If you have and he still is not hitting them, then he is not listening. I suggest you show him where the right spots are. You are the teacher, he is the student.
BTW, quit comparing those two men. I would be willing to bet that your husband is picking up on that.
2007-12-19 04:01:46 · answer #10 · answered by bootsontheroad 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋