In January my husband and I decided that after being pushed and pushed we would agree to buying a house with his mother. She had always been super sweet and all my hubby said when he was young they didn't get along but he thought it could of just been his immaturity, he hadn't lived with her since he was 13 and went to live with his dad. Anyway to make a long story short she has transformed into a complete witch! Always nagging and complaining about everything I mean everything! Like she'll come downstairs at 9:00 pm & demand all lights and TV off. She is a total control freak and is rude and is 98% of the time in a bad horrible mood. It has came to a point that as soon as I hear her coming i will lock myself in my room i avoid seeing her or crossing her way as much as possible to avoid any comfrontations, she is impossible to live with and I want to move, my husband says let's do it, but I know she can't afford the place by herself, should we move anyway?
2007-12-19 03:47:06 · 19 answers · asked by Curious One 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would speak to her first and tell her your done being miserable in your own house, if it doesn't change then you and your husband are moving in 30 days...good luck
2007-12-19 03:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Mylilmanm 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, i think you should move on. Most of all mother of the husbands are like that, jealous wife'son, feeling old, still want the power had before over the son, feelings are too old to keep going and frustrated dont have any life at all.
Its terrible what you are living:) i'm so sorry! a lot of people live that!
Have to take a decision for your life! maybe living with your mother or other relative or friend, at least for sometime to rest from hell!
All my compreension and solidarity for you:)
Good luck! dear
2007-12-19 11:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by Kinynha 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
look up "bipolar disease".
Then.. both you and your husband read over ALL the symptoms.. sit down with her AFTER the two of you have discussed what to do about her. Remember your names are co-signed ..and if she cannot afford the place..you will still be financially responsible for the mortgage. So ..study bipolar..if that is what you suspect she has.. it mis time for you to sit her down and have her listen and NOT talk. Make is clear ( IF you think she is ill ) that she must go to the doctor and receive medications. Tell her her symptoms .. do all the ground work for her, she probably will never do it herself. If what she does ..does not seem to match the symptoms of bipolar but closely mirror something else.. you will still need to talk to her about it and get her to a doctor. If she causes her entire life to blow up then obviously she is not paying enough attention to reality..you see?
A person totally avoiding talking to another person as you have described is a strong indicator of bipolar disease to me. It IS ok to look it up and have your husband carefully examine it. I highly recommend the Mayo Clinic website for the information but there are many many many MANY websites devoted to this illness because it is so prevalent these days.
if she feels this does not apply to her ..tell her you are willing to abandon your good credit rating to avoid being near hern the house. Your husband..her son..must stand with you in this or it is useless to try it. Bipolar people are often used to others trying to bluff them out of their stupid reasoning and then not backing it up with action.
2007-12-19 12:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by BelieverinGod 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You call him immature. Here are the facts of life, I hope they help:
1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins all relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth. I don't lie.
2007-12-19 12:17:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
what a hard place you are in. I'm sure if it were your mother, you'd be more understanding, as your husband is being. BUT, since it isn't, sounds like you guys just need to have a "meeting". Just sit down, lay it all out on the table, and don't get up until something is resolved, whether it be everyone bending and giving more, or who the realtor will be for the sale..
2007-12-19 11:54:52 · answer #5 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She needs to know that if she cannot afford her own place, she is officially living in YOUR house. And just like when your husband was young, people living in YOUR house have to live by YOUR rules. She will hate this, she will fight this, but she cannot run around and play the terror when you are trying to make her life better. If her life with you is that bad, she needs to live on her own. Maybe she cannot handle living with anyone anymore and hopes that if you leave, you will feel obligated to keep her in a separate house at your additional expense! Maybe she could afford her own house but does not want to live alone - but cannot stop trying to control the household as if you were children.
She does need to know whose house she is living in - if she wants to be the momma, she can be momma all by herself - but you are adults, so she can be your guest or live on her own, it all depends on her behavior. If she cannot live on her own, she is going to have to behave herself while living with someone!
2007-12-19 11:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by Amy R 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to hammer out the financial agreement of the shared house.
This is the biggest problem that people get into with family and money.
Once that is done, you both state that you're moving out. If she can't buy the house from the two of you, then it must be sold. Leave her to figure out what to do. You have your own lives to worry about.
Good luck... and I mean it.
2007-12-19 11:57:47 · answer #7 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
UMM, YA.
tell her that her behavior is out of control, and you guys feel like you are walking on egg shells since she is a ticking time bomb, and that you both feel it is good to move out since you want to continue to have some sort of relationship with her. because let me tell you what is gonna happen, if you guys dont move and you continue to live together it is going to get so bad that all hell will break lose and you guys may end things in bad terms, so i say it is better to move and visit from afar ya know? let her get her other kids to move in with her (if she has any) or find roomates or sugges that you will help her in finding her own affordable place if she wants to. good luck
2007-12-19 11:53:33 · answer #8 · answered by mama2be 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why in the world would you let his mother "push" you into buying a house with her in the first place? Big mistake! Guess her true colors are showing now huh? I don't know what the legalities are since you bought a house with her....But you better do something now before you kill each other...
2007-12-19 11:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you should move. If she can't afford to live by herself, she needs to look for a roommate. Yes, you need to help family members, but not at the expense of your marriage.
2007-12-19 12:28:23 · answer #10 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to walk a tightrope here but here is what you should do...
Kill her...
....with niceness! No matter how mean she gets, be nice! You could even make a game of it.
But at the same time, you cannot let her control you.
If you can move without getting into serious debt, then do it. Don't let her kill your marriage.
Merry Christmas
2007-12-19 11:57:48 · answer #11 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋