best friend who recently got engaged to my best friend.Before he got engaged i used to send him txt messages only a couple,he did not knw it was me, i did this bcoz it was hard to cope with i needed to let someone know and i thought if i txt him maybe i'll feel better.my husband is a great guy he treats me good and he does everything for me but i feel no passion for him.
A month ago me and him got chatting on facebook and then on msn, it felt so good to talk to him without my husband or my best friend, he confessed that he had feeling's for me and that he wishes that he was married to me etc. my husband went away for haj over 2 weeks ago and me and him have met up 3 times since and we've had sex and it was great i haven't felt this happy for a long time,he tell's me that he love's me and he wishes he could spend his life with me but me and him know that it will never happen because we don't want to hurt the people close 2 us, how can i foget him and make things right with my husband
2007-12-19 03:45:09 · 24 answers · asked by secret83dec 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i know what i have done is wrong i am 24 and got married when i was young at the age of 19 i did love my husband i would of done anything for him back then, i was never going to let his friend know that it was me who sent him the txts but he figured it out by the way i spelt his name. i only now started to meet up with him because my husband is away and i felt so alone. i know i deserve all the bad comments no matter how alone i felt i should of not of gave in to the the way i feel and slept with him it was very wrong of me, i would like to think that there is still hope for my husband i would like to work on fixing things but i need help first i need to forget about the other guy so could anyone give me advice on how i can do that?
2007-12-19 04:11:18 · update #1
I can completely understand. You can't control your feelings. I had something similiar happen to me. If you truly love your husband then I suggest breaking it off with the friend and NEVER say anything to your husband. Just move on. You will never stop thinking of him, but if you have children, stay with your husband. You will at least have the memories of his touch but the life with your husband and the family you have created. The grass always looks greener but usually never is. if you are happy and love your husband, stay with him and never mention it to him. It will only make him hate you are distrust you. It will only make you feel better and hurt him beyond words. Good luck and let me know what happens.
2007-12-19 04:24:53 · answer #1 · answered by Sherry26 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ugh. Could you have dug a bigger hole? So now you have been with Mr. Player and he just likes you as side action, imagine that. How unexpected...not! So any time he wants, he can trash your marriage. So you have ruined your marriage and your BEST FRIEND's engagement?
First - you need to come clean with your man and the two of you need counseling. You must have felt something for him or you would not have married him, right? So what have you done? Allowed yourself to get all critical of him and started getting bored? Feel no passion? That stuff is in your head.
Second - you need to come clean with your best friend. She should not be married to someone as traitorous as he is - he does his fiance's best friend? Mr. Right Now is one big cheating load of crap, honey. Sure he makes you feel all new and happy - except for all the betrayal and ruin this is causing because you could not get a divorce first, if this feeling was that strong, eh? "Don't want to hurt the people close 2 us"? Well, that bird has already flown. There is no way this will not be coming out somewhere down the line, so ask your forgiveness and take it like a woman when they all tell you what a terrible thing you've done just for your own feel-good. You won't forget him, but maybe if your husband leaves you for adultery and your best friend wise's up and dumps this loser, the two of you can see each other the next time he's engaged to someone else...cuz that's how these guys ride!
2007-12-19 04:07:06 · answer #2 · answered by Amy R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you are playing a dangerous game I would get out as so as possible.First you need to turn off the computer and turn off the phone and quit playing games with this guy. you have a commitment to your husband and you need to honor it. Start taking care of your man like making him dinner and washing his clothes, and cleaning his house. don't tell me you already do because you would have time to lay up in the bed with another man. You can make yourself love you husband . Each day roll over and say I love even if you don't mean it. forget all about this man and start focusing on your husband do things for him that you never have before do what a wife is suppose to do and honor him. you may not like what i have to say but it is honest. No here can help you unless you want to be helped. So you need to make a decision: do you want to risk everything you've worked for my cheating on your husband or do you want to do the right thing and turn your life around?
2007-12-19 04:04:52 · answer #3 · answered by Crispo Cremeos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your stuff together and get the hell out! What you have done is unforgivable. You are supposed to be his WIFE! You pledged that for the rest of your life you would be only with him, not with him most of the time, except for when he is out of town! I don't know anything about your husband but I do know he deserves better than you. I also know he needs to find a new best friend! What about the best friend's fiance? I bet you two didn't think about that before you went whoring around! Get your stuff and get out of your husband's house, he deserves better than you!
2007-12-19 04:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by tom_gpp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a tramp.....First and foremost
That is one of the LOWEST things that anyone can do....you should tell your husband, and then help him pack his stuff when he decides to leave you.
Gross
Edited to add....
You obviously have no respect for yourself....atleast have the dignity and the respect for your husband to tell him what you did....and let him make the choice if he wants to fix the relationship or not. You not only screwed up the relationship between you and him....but you screwed up a relationship with his best friend too....not like he is an innocent person in the whole matter.
2007-12-19 03:49:20 · answer #5 · answered by Heather B 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Men do not deal well with getting cheated on at all, it is very hard for a guy to forgive and forget in this scenario. Sexual fidelity is very important to guys because he needs to know that when you get pregnant the kid you are carrying in really his child so that he is not pouring his resources into ensuring the continuation of another mans genes. I am not sure you have a choice on how you feel about this but you need to decide if you will make a conscious choice to forgive her, if you do you need to stick to that.
2016-04-10 07:41:25 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make anything right with your husband because you cheated on him. Sad to say, but your relationship with your husband was ended the moment you even thought about having sex with his friend. Now, your husband can't even trust you and what is a relationship without trust. You're not being fair to him or your friend. You two just need to fess up to what yall did, and you need to realize that before you marry someone you need to MAKE SURE that you can spend the rest of your life with them. This world is filled with MILLIONS of people that get married and then get divorced!! All of yall need to just grow up and realize that just because you may be around 30 doesn't mean that you're mature. You don't need to be married! No offense, but you're a whore... but thank you because you are my role model... not so i can be like you... so that i know HOW NOT TO BE when i get married! :)
2007-12-19 03:52:08 · answer #7 · answered by HaiLeY 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a piece of work lady.You are the reason most good men stay single.You say you love your husband but there is no passion.PLEASE!! You dont deserve the gorund he walks on,and to want HIS best friend is beyond belief....You are going to wreck 3 lives.His,most importantly,then his BEST friends,and hopfully yours last.The friend will not want you long because of how you cheated on his EX best friend.You;ll destroy your husbands life and his friendship.I hope they both catch on to you so they both can leave you in your miserable life behind.
2007-12-19 04:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by VROD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not have kids with your husband, you could divorce him instead of cheating on him. I think divorce should be the last resort, but if there are no kids involved and you have no passion for your husband, let him go and hopefully he'll find someone who has passion for him. If there are kids involved and you do love your husband enough to patch things up, then go to therapy and learn how to get that passion back. It has been done.
2007-12-19 03:49:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know you meant know harm but you've got yourself in a sticky situation because in effect you've cheated your husband and you've cheated your best friend. Give yourself some time and be mentally prepared for some hardship. To forget your lover will be difficult. I suggest you totally stop meeting or texting him. Over time you will learn to live without him. Also test out that man. Ask him if he is willing to marry you. He will probably say no. This means it's lust, not love. So get out of it. How you compensate your husband for this, is another issue. May be you should go out of your way to please him in every possible way.
2007-12-19 04:20:59 · answer #10 · answered by Whisperer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋