Education or ???

Question

I told my husband of my future plans to move another city which is 2 hours from where we live. I'm going there to attend the university. He doesn't agree and he says it wouldn't be good for his boys and our daughter. Our daughter is only 1 and she wouldn't know the difference, his sons are 8 and 13. He can take his sons with me whether they like it or not. I'm trying to make myself clear to him that an education is something that will benefit us greatly and it is our security. I want him to go to school with me, just part time at least because he says IF he does go he will need a job. Where we live, all the jobs are taken and it's not where I want to spend the rest of my life. A small, one-WalMart town. Last night I was filling out my forms for school and my husband was so upset that he wouldn't talk to me or even sleep with me on our bed. I think he needs to realize that I'm doing this for us-family, and that this will be all worth it in the long run. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

you guys need to talk about this. the idea of education to benefit the whole family is great and good luck to you with it. but really you can't just say this is what i 'm doing we are moving and expect he to be supportive and fine with it. talk look at meeting halfway with the moving. his very wrong about it not be a good idea for the children nothing better for them then seeing positive role models and mummy bettering herself for the benefit of the family is a great role model.talk lots plan a visit for the day to the area you want to go to.p.s don't be so tough on the boys they are sensitive ages and moves are a big thing,include them all the way.hope this all turns well out for you.

Answer 2

An education does not guarantee security, financially or otherwise, even moreso if you do not live in a town that values education in jobs. I personally think you're taking a selfish "My way or the highway" approach with little regard to your husband's feelings or concerns.

I fully support your want to get an education but if your husband is expressing the difficulties it may have for your children and your marriage, it is high time you pay attention. You simply cannot put your foot down and demand to attend a university two hours away when your husband is stressing family strain and work needs.

You really need to learn to come to middle ground here. You're an adult, act like one and compromise with your husband. If it's any consolation, I'd love to go to my local university nearby to complete my degree but time and money just does not allow it right now. It's hard for me and it's hard for my husband to see I cannot fulfill a dream right now but he's promised we will find a way eventually.

Think about your family when making this decision. Otherwise, you may very well end up losing your family because of your demands.

Answer 3

One of you are going to need to compromise to make it work.

What is the real reason he does not want you to attend school? Is it because he is controlling?

Where does the mother of his sons live? If it is in that small town you have no right to separate them from their mother.

Additionally, you do have other options as far as your education is concerned. Have you explored all options?

Bottom line is you need to think this through a bit more. I feel there are issues the two of you have not thought of yet.

Merry Christmas.

Answer 4

no I think you are being selfish and just thinking about our needs and what you want to do. You did not think about you husband and his need, nor you kids and their needs. i understand you want to go to school but your are a wife now and it's time to start acting like one. Listen to your husband before you won't have a husband and your kids will be with a new step momma.