I do not know how to handle this situation?

Question

It has been a year and a half since my now ex cheated, left and we divorced. Our families were very close. I have just found out that my ex's parents have arrived for Xmas and tonight is our son's Xmas concert. I have not spoken to my ex about the concert so I do not even know if he is going. My fear is that he will go and bring his parents and his girlfriend along. I do not know how I will handle that if he does. We usually attend these events by ourselves and sit together so that our son will see that we do get along. What do I do? Do I save him a seat? Do I try and sit somewhere alone? I am hoping he will have the decency to warn me if he plans to bring his parents and/or the girlfriend alond. I would if the situation was reversed. Seeing them all together will hurt even though we are divorced. What do I do?

Answer 1

Call him and ask him what his intentions are, so that way you know what you need to do.

Answer 2

You should want your son's grandparents to see his concert. Make every effort to include them. Everything else is trivial in comparison. Save seats for everyone. The burden will be on everyone else to find a different seat if they are uncomfortable. Rise above your ex and his girlfriend. If you think there's a chance for you to be too uncomfortable with the seating arrangements, then have an escape plan. bring a camera and move around so that you can take some pictures of your son and some other children during the concert.

Answer 3

Wow, not a fun way to spend the holidays. I know this isn't going to be easy, but you are going to have to get used to situations where the "other woman" is present. Feeling that you and the ex should be the only ones there is a form of holding on. You and your son will need to continually adjust to the changes in the relationship. First there was a split, but you tried to show you can be united for him. Now, painfully as it may be, it's time to add others to the mix. He obviously moved on and if his relationship with her keeps going she will be part of your son's life - better it be a postive role.

Glam up - wear sometime that makes you feel great - look in the mirror and tell yourself it was his loss! Hold your head up and enjoy your son's performance.

Best to you!

Answer 4

You have to go to the concert no matter who is there it is for your son, I would call your ex to see if you all want to sit together, his parents are still your childs grandparents and always will be and if the girlfriend is going to be there be strong and put on a happy face for the child. new girl friends are more afraid of ex wives than you know!!!
just work that aspect! be happy and strong!

Answer 5

Sounds like your not over it yet. I would try to not be concerned with your ex and what his plans are. Calling him if you have a productive relationship would be the mature thing to do but if you have a bad relationship then it will only cause animosity so it would be best left alone. I would not alter your presence of your plans at all based on his actions. Do whats right for your kid and just be there.

Answer 6

If you are on good speaking terms with your ex then give him a call and ask him. If not then go and do what you always do. If he does bring anyone that will hurt you try then divert all your attention to your son. Kids are a great distraction and they make you stronger then you think. Either way you will make it through all of it just fine.

Answer 7

I suggest you arrive late and sit in the back to avoid these folks you don't want to run in to.

I do think that you need to move past this too, at some point, and don't care that your scum bag ex bring his gf or parents.

I would just walk in, head high, smile on my face and take my seat, anywhere I please and enjoy my kids concert. This guy does not deserve a second thought, he'll get his just dessert someday.

Answer 8

in these situations you must always do what is right for the children. that goes for him too. you should try to sit together, smile, and get along even if it is only for 1 hour. with something like this i would think that the girlfriend has no place being there. she is not his wife, just a girlfriend. with that being said, i think that you have the right (on behalf of your child) to request that she not be there to make things more comfortable for everyone.

Answer 9

It's sounds that you have admirably, and for the sake of your child, separated your parental duties from your marital disagreements. Great job!!!

The last thing you want to do now is be surprised and/or unprepared for you ex and his family and perhaps girlfriend to show up at the concert. Talk to him. Find out his plans. Who does he intend to show up with? Mentally/emotionally prepare yourself beforehand to continue to be strong for your child.

Good luck.

Answer 10

Honey, I know this can be tough, especially if this is the first time you see his girlfriend. You just have to smile and don't let them see you are upset for your son's sake. Be friendly and gracious and you will look like the lady that you are. In time, it won't feel so bad and you will always look good. You are there for your son and he always comes first. Good luck - you will be fine!!

Answer 11

I hate to tell you this but I am in the same situation as you. My X cheated and we divorced. The only thing I can tell you is you need to grow up, suck it and act like the responsible adult that you are. You don't need to save seats unless he calls you and asks.You do have to be nice to him, his new girlfriend and his parents. DO NOT put your kids in the middle. Two good houses are wayyy better than one messed up one. The parents who put their kids in a tug of war should be punished.