I have never felt this horrible ever. I dont know what I am doing in my life... please... I need guiadance.?

Question

HI, I am in my second yr of college and am majoring in business and journalism. I was pushed into a business major because my parents thought it would be best for me. I added a major in journalism on, so i could do something I liked. I am scared, all this writing is going to make me hate something I love to do when I am upset.

This last semester was the worst I have ever experienced, and got my first d ever, and in advanced Calc. I suck with numbers, and have always strived off creativity.

I want to change my major and possibly to education- I love kids i already do a ton of stuff with children every day, I coach a basketball team, I work at church for children's bible.

I love them. But making the change, I am scared my parents will disown me- obviously I suck at business stuff. I somewhat attamepted to talk to my mom about it and she claimed i was selling myself short.

That hurt.

Please

I need guiadnce. I have been so depressed cuz I am so confused anymore.

obviously, I need to learn how to spell, lol guidance. thats what i meant- guidance

Answer 1

I think that going into education is a very brave move for you. I am sorry that your parents can't see the big picture for you. I know where you are coming from. My mom has never believed in my dreams either. If she would just not try so hard to hold me to what she thinks for me, I could accomplish even more than I have. Your parents are going to have to understand that you have to do what you are comfortable doing. I don't understand your mom's remark about selling yourself short. There are extremely intelligent people that do jobs that some consider mediocre at best. They do it because it makes them happy. Your parents have to understand that you are an adult now. I am sure they are helping you financially. That is great that they are doing that. However, do they want to waste their money by forcing you to do something that ultimately you feel will make your life miserable? Ask them do they want you to love life and your career and be great at what you do? Or mediocre and unhappy? I know how hard it is to stand up to controlling parents. Especially when you love them. Take my word for it, if you don't, you will start to resent them, even hate them a little. Then you start to hate yourself for not being stronger and making your own decisions. I am stuck in that place right now with a bitter mother who tries to control every thing I do, from my business to my children to my lovelife. I hate myself because sometimes I think it will be easier when she is gone. Don't let yourself get to this point. Make your stand now. Assert yourself. Someday the tables will be turned and you will be taking care of your parents. Assert yourself as an adult that is strong now or it will be to late when they are childishly refusing to take their heart medicine. If you don't, you will always feel like you should be better at something you just don't care about. Get a masters or Phd. in education if thats what they will see as going all the way. Dig ditches after you get it if thats what makes you happy. You have to live your life. You have to find your own happiness. Sometimes it can't include your parents. If they do disown you, they will eventually come around. I know how bad that would hurt, and how hard it would be, but at least you would be finding your bliss. Good luck. I know what you are going through. I know you will find the strength to fight for your own choices.

Answer 2

Wow, you sound exactly like me. But of course, we're two completely different people. I know what you mean though, my family talks behind my back, people at school are just arrogant, and my friends aren't ever there for me. It's a horrible feeling, knowing and wondering when someone's just going to pick you up off your feet to help you. And with my family, I say something, and I'm yelled at, however if my sister or brother says the same exact thing, they're basically envied for it. Ahh :( My own Mother didn't like me as well, and she passed away. Ah it's so sad, brings tears to my eyes. Sorry now I'm just rambling on and on about my own life. >Try meeting new people, that could be a start. Keep smiling and keep your head up, I'll guarantee one day something good will happen in your life. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Honestly, the best thing to do is just talk to them, spend time with each of them (separately) like have a day out with your mom, before it's too late. >Yeah, "nice". I'm sorry that you're going through this. Aw and I read over the part where your frog died. That's odd because I have a parrot and my parrot seems like the only one who ever wants to be with me and wants MY attention! Ever feel like you were born in the wrong family? Try buying a new pet?

Answer 3

First of all, you need to take a deep breath & stop worrying about what mom & dad will say & do. That's easier said than done, I know. You're an adult & it's your future, not theirs & you need to do what makes YOU happy, not your parents. If you think your parents will disown you for changing your major, then that doesn't say much for the love & support your parents have to offer. I can't imagine any parent who wouldn't want their child to be happy in college, especially. Your future is at stake here so make the change, then tell your parents. I doubt that they'll disown you, but if they get upset, so be it. You have to think about YOU, first & foremost. Stand tall & do what it takes for you to look forward to completing your education. Since you love kids, you'd be better off to pursue a career where you can work with children. I think you'd be really good at it. Please, try not to let this situation depress you any further. Today, you need to realize that you aren't a little child who has to do what mommy & daddy want you to do. To change majors is not the end of the world for your parents. They should be happy that you are mature enough to realize that it's time to make you happy. It's really a shame that what your parent's reaction will be, that is causing you so much mental distress. Do what you have to, to eliminate that stress.

Answer 4

You suck at business stuff? What the hell business uses Adv Calc?? Calculus-r-us? :)

Everyone will tell you to major in what you love, and that's true to a point. But as you said, 'all this writing stuff will make me hate what I love'. Do ANYTHING too much, feel forced to make a living of it, for the next say, 40 years, and you will be sick of it. Yes, teaching too.

Pick something you like, (maybe your third choice major) but not something you love. Save your loves for your off time--write a book, volunteer coach, etc. Don't make it a job.

Your parents want you to be succussful. They know there is money and security in business, and not so much in education and journalism. She meant you were selling yourself short in terms of earning potential. I sincerely hope they would not disown you for not liking a particular field.

Good luck, choose wisely. The older you get, the more life circumstances make it more difficult to go back to school.

Answer 5

Life is too short to have a career you don't enjoy. I left a high paying job to work in a daycare and was never happier. Do what makes you happy, gives you a sense of accomplishment and won't make you miserable.
My job had gotten to the point that it was affecting every aspect of my life. I'd go home fed up with my day at work and was depressed thinking I had to do it all again the next day. I was miserable.
When I changed jobs that all changed and I was much happier and much easier to get along with (ha, ha).
Good luck, hopefully your parents will realize that your happiness is first and foremost not your future paycheque.

Answer 6

You need to explain to them that you want to be a teacher....maybe minor in business? The journalism part you can also incorporate with teaching.

My advice would be to talk to guidance counselor at school and enlist their aid to communicate issue with parents.
Sounds like you know what you want to do. life is easier when you are happy and fulfilled in career.
Explain to parents how you aren't selling self short, just not for you, they may understand better that way. Explain plan for what you want to do and how you will accomplish that goal. College is expensive and you need to be educated in what is best for you.

Good luck

By the way, parent sometimes think they are helping children pick a major with what they think good work career, but it isn't always right for child, but they want best for you.

Answer 7

Calculus is a tough course, lots of people have problems with it. I did. I later got an MBA and went into business, and I can tell you Calculus is not the type of math we use in business everyday.

I would say do what you like to do, and take the courses that will lead to the career you desire. Just because you didn't like or do well in Calculus isn't necessarily a reflection on what a business career is like, but if you don't like business for other reasons, study something that you like, that will lead to a good career.

I would talk to your parents and ask for a little leeway in deciding on your courses.

Answer 8

Whatever you choose for you major is something that you should be doing for the rest of your life, so it should be something that will make you happy as well as earning a living. It's not always all about the money, sometimes you have to compromise to be content with your choices. Mom and Dad probably want more for you, but will love and respect any choices you make. I am sure they are proud of you and want you to be happy. Ultimately YOU have to be happy and right now you don't sound very happy. Talk to your counselor, or clergy. Best wishes to you.

Answer 9

Don't worry about your grades. NO employer will ever care, it's just the knowledge that you get from each class that matters. Did you learn something in your calculus class? Take that little bit with you and move on. No one has ever regretted knowing a little bit about everything...it doesn't matter that you aren't an expert at everything. All of the work you do, and the classes you are taking are making you a well-rounded, better adult. Hang in there, you are doing great! You'll look back on this day when you're 30 and realize how lucky you were to have the opportunity to have this problem.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry to hear you're in such distress. You sound like you're spreading yourself a little thin. Life is short, UNLESS you're living it for someone other than yourself!! Please know that your parents love you and will NOT disown you if you decide to live your own life. (I have 2 grown children so this advice comes with some experience! ) Drop the courses you don't want. You are not going to be able to make anyone happy in your life if YOU'RE not happy. Have you told your mother that you ain't happy? We don't like to see our children unhappy. You are an adult. Take your life in your own hands. Gently TELL your parents how your life is going to go. Don't ask. Your folks WILL get over it, trust me. Best of luck to you.