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if you love your wife but after you two married she said she doesnt to have sex, she isn't a virgin but you are and you are ok with it for some time, but after a while you can help those urges and she doesnt want you to masterbate or look at porn but you love your wife very much and she wont go to therapy or marriage counseling is there a way to kill those desires (no not cutting the penis off) but like pills?

2007-12-19 01:31:15 · 18 answers · asked by Peter P 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

18 answers

In the eyes of even the Catholic Church, this is grounds for an annullment. Part of the vow of marriage includes sexual relations and it's abusive to withhold without good reason. It may sound funny, but what she's doing is abuse. Sexual urges are normal and healthy. She is trying to make you pretend as if you don't have them, and she is forbidding you from releasing them in any way: sex or masturbation. This is unhealthy for you.

You can't and should not force her, of course, and it would be inappropriate for you to bully her as well. You don't sound like the kind of guy who would do that anyway.

Honestly, even when you love someone, sometimes you just can't stay in the marriage. I think this is one of those situations, unfortunately. There is no solution that will please her and that isn't awful for you.

2007-12-19 01:40:36 · answer #1 · answered by MedGeek 3 · 0 0

Well I can kind of see the part about porn & masturbation--please dude-a lady doesn't want to see that.
then I would wonder if there was a reason she didn't want sex...it could be that it is physically uncomfortable due to a medical condition. If her uterus has tilted it would be really uncomfortable to have sex no matter the position; she might just have a low libido. Maybe your technique needs work or maybe she's uncomfortable with the thought of being your "first"...as a couple you may need to seek out sex therapy (not a prostitute, a genuine liscensed therapist, not like you see in porn films)
You just need to decide whether you can live in a monogomis but plutonic relationship. It is interesting that you were a virgin going into this relationship...usually its the other way around.

2007-12-19 09:48:44 · answer #2 · answered by gingergargoyle 2 · 0 0

hello there... im sure my answer will help... look the truth is that you need to look towards the long run..
no body can live without sex... its natural to want to have sex especially with your own wife... and no even if there are any medications to supress your desire its not healthy! the best thing is to try and discuss this with a phsyciatrist and explain whats going on maybe he can give you some insight into your wife's mind... second . if this fails then i would suggest you tell your wife how you feel and that you cant go on in this marraige if this continues.. if she loves you she will co operate if not its a hard decision but one that needs to be taken... if she is suffering from some kind of depression seek help for her if shes just stubborn then i guess you shouldnt put up with her selfishness! good luck!

2007-12-19 09:45:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

How long have you been married? Has she said anything about the reasons for this? It does sound like she has some diffeculties with it, possibly because of religious reasons (some people from strict religeous upbringing feel it's "wrong", even though they no it's not), or - more possible: She has been abused at some point, and has never been able to work through it. If she doesn't want to talk to you about this at all, do you think maybe you could talk to somebody else close to her, family member, friend so that you maybe they can try to help you help her?
I really hope this works out for you guys, she is lucky to have you!

2007-12-19 09:40:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You shouldn't try to cut off your desires. Do you know men that don't have sex have higher risk for prostrate cancer as well as other illnesses, sex is in your best interest. It is time to set some boundaries with your wife concerning you personal wellfare, let her know you love her and need sex. If she is not willing to give it to you, then you will need to find a prostiture or at least masturbate and look at porn, but she is being selfish and inconsiderate to try to control your very human nature. It's a matter of good health that you are sexually satisfied and you need to take care of yourself, do it the most loving way you can - but do something to take care of yourself regardless of your wive's controlling ways.

2007-12-19 09:36:43 · answer #5 · answered by wellbeing 5 · 0 0

I cannot imagine a marriage without sex, even in the bible it is mentioned that do not deprive each other. If she insists on not haveing sex, what the reason for u staying with her. Have u tried a consellor, maybe she needs counselling.

Honestly i do not think this marriage will work out without sex in the house.

2007-12-19 09:39:02 · answer #6 · answered by NELE 2 · 0 0

If she won't consumate the marriage, you can get an annulment. You probably could even if you have had sex with her. She obviously doesn't care for your feelings much. She is the one who needs to go to the doctor, sounds like her hormaones are way out of whack - that is assuming she does like you and just doesn't want sex.

2007-12-19 09:36:18 · answer #7 · answered by David E 3 · 1 0

I believe there are medications that are considered a form of "chemical castration" -- your doctor would be better equipped to answer that question, though. Your marriage is not normal! If I were you, I would put my foot down. Sex is a normal and expected part of marriage, and your wife is beyond being unreasonable.

2007-12-19 09:36:02 · answer #8 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0 0

I've heard that the navy gives sailors a pill to subdue urges while at sea but if she loved you wouldn't she want to consummate the marriage time for annulment maybe.....

2007-12-19 09:38:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Nope,,no pills for that. This is a big issue that sooner or later will have consequences. I can tell you a temporary fix to your immediate situation. You will have to keep occupy and maybe even take a hobby that will keep you distracted. If you need to masturbate, do it. She can't tell you what to do when it comes to your body. Focus on being busy and productive,,,somehow I hope this situation changes for you soon. Good luck!

2007-12-19 09:37:34 · answer #10 · answered by KingDavid 4 · 1 0

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