How should I feel?

Question

I kick out my cheating boyfriend in August. Now I found out that he got that 19 year old preagnant in August. This was not the first time that he had done that. We were together since we where 18 and now I'm 28. When I was 24 he had another girl preagnant too which that baby past away when he was 4months old.

I just got a lawyer to speed up my childsupport this month too.

My problem is that my friend is mad at me since he's family had invited me and our kids for X-mas and told him that he's 19 year old girlfriend can go with her family. My friend said that I'm inconsiderate on he's new girlfriends feelings, but to tell you the truth I don't care. I don't care of him, her or their baby. Since we broke up he has not being there for our children who are 6 and 7. Why should I feel anything for them? Why?

Answer 1

Why should you feel anything for him? Because he IS the father of your children. Nothing is going to change that fact or the fact they are going to need to have a relationship with their father.

You had a part in this whole mess too. Now you need to continue to do your part and do whatever it takes to give your children as normal of a life as possible.

Merry Christmas

Answer 2

Okay.. here goes..

My ex husband cheated on me. He had me and another lady pregnant at the same time. Her baby is just a few months older than mine. He made up all kinds of lies to make she and I hate each other, so he would come out looking better.

When she and I both finally wised up and got him out of our lives, we didn't speak for a while- then, finally, she was the bigger person and called to see how I was doing. We've been friends ever since. Our daughters know each other and love each other as sisters.

It's not their fault their Daddy was a p.o.s. They're sisters. Long after I'm gone and the other lady are gone, they'll have each other- and sisters are important. My sisters are some of the most important people in my life. Why begrudge my child of such an important relationship because the adults in her life couldn't make their own relationships work? That's not fair.

If you're going to be mad, be mad at him. You have no idea what lies he's told the 19 year old, and her baby certainly has done nothing to deserve your resentment. That baby is your children's sibling, though- remember that. They'll be important parts of each others lives someday- why not nurture that relationship now while there's still time before you make an even bigger mess of their childhood?

Answer 3

The only good thing in this story is that you finally had the good sense to get rid of the sorry man you were with!

You owe him and his other girlfriend nothing! He owes child support and I hope you collect it!

For the future I suggest you remember the lessons I hope you learned from all this. One, you knew he was a cheater years ago but you stayed around and had children with this liar and cheat! Never do that again. If someone cheats on you let that be the end of the relationship!

Personally, I make it a practice even in my workplace that if I know of someone who is cheating on their spouse, I don't trust them. I believe if they would lie to the person they claim to love above all others they won't even think twice about lying to me! So I do not even trust their work!

Answer 4

Because your children's grandparents love their grandchildren. And punishing them is unreasonable for the actions of your kid's father. Let your kids go, you do not have to. But please do not punish the grandparents or your children. Because you broke this off, don't you feel better about the whole situation? Life is way too short... Be happy! And remember this, he will always be your kid's dad. You will have to find a compromise with him & his family... These ppl will be in your life for a very very long time...

Answer 5

His family loves him no matter what and do not care if it means you are hurt. You are under no requirement to allow them to hurt you emotionally. Nor may they try to destroy how you bring up your children in a righteous way.

I think you are right. No need to see any of them . It would be good for you to allow the grandparents to come and to visit the kids though. They do not need to go anywhere with the grandparents since the grandparents d not care how they are brought up by their son who cannot keep his pants zipped up.

You are under NO obligation whatsoever to allow others to ruin the right way to bring up your babies. There are lots of other things to do with them that will lift them up into laughter and joy other than to be with a dysfunctional family that does not care enough about them to behave.

Answer 6

What a MESS.

THIS is a wonderful example of why people should be married before having children. You chose to stay with this cheating jerk, make babies with him, and continue to stay when he impregnated other women.

I don't see how you can clean up this mess, other than just try to get along with everyone. You are completely responsible for this headache.

Answer 7

Why don't you grab your shoe and smack your friend over the head with it. Tell her this story again so she doesn't forget what he did to you. Who cares about his and his new GF's feelings. I know it's wierd, but the kids still have to have a relationship with thier Grandparents.

Answer 8

Tell your friend you have better things to do with your time than to get involved with the ex's BS drama and tell your friend that they're lucky that you didn't knock them upside their head for telling you something like that.

Answer 9

Because you are human and fellings are feelings there are no right and wrongs there. Right and wrong is established in actions. Keep those in check.

Answer 10

and why should you care, i dont blame you. the last person id be considerate of is the new girlfriend, you know your business there and so does she. go do your thing gurl.