I need your HELP WITH THIS ONE. (Serious advice please)?

Question

A friends and I went to a “high class” function. (We work together at the same school and we talk all the time.) It was a fund raiser for AIDS research. I was invited by friends of other friends. By the time we got to the dinner, it was six of us seated at the table. The occupations of the people that were seated at the table were a Physical Therapist, Accountant, Chemical Engineer, a 'Tech guy," a high school counselor (me) and a school Cafe. Worker. (The Cafe. Worker came with me.)

(HERE IS THE ISSUE)
The question of occupation and salaries came up. I felt a little uncomfortable because with this bunch anything under six figs seemed to be chump change. So after they ask my friend (The Cafe Worker) what she made, after she told them the looked at each other for a second and then started to laugh. (I will be honest, I was mad as hell). My friend (Café Worker) was noticeably uncomfortable and felt out of place. They then asked what her salary was.

That is when I BLASTED their snooty aizzez. I don't remember everything I said, but it was enough to turn heads at other tables. Many people thought I was rude and mean. After I said what I had to say, no one spoke to me the whole night and the friend that invited me was very embarrassed by my actions.

(TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT)

On the way home my friend (Café Worker) thanked me for taking up for her, but she said that she did not want to go to any other events with me. She felt we really operated in two different worlds. (I was hurt by that b/c we had been friends for five yrs, but that is not the issue at hand.) The person who invited me called my cell phone while I was driving on the way home and cussed me out for embarrassing him and hanging with “low lives.” So I cussed his aizz right back, he wants nothing to do with me after this b/c he said that I ruined is “networks” (????)

(QUESTIONS FOR YOU)

1. Was I wrong for letting them have it at the fundraiser?
2. My friend at school (the café worker) no longer wants anything to do with me b/c she thinks that I have set her up for failure. Even though she is one of my best friends, Was I wrong for inviting her?

P.S. Please provide objective advice. I am a brotha that has lost two good friends by just going to a dinner party.

Answer 1

dayum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally feel you...... no you werent wrong, how rude of people to ask what income someone else brings in.... i wouldnt dream of asking someone what they make for a living.... how ignorant and rude... i would have done the same exact thing.... i am in the service industry by choice and i work downtown during the day and really tired of the attorneys, judges, business owners, bankers etc looking down on waitresses, bartenders, etc....... i would have blasted everyone of them as well...... ESPECIALLY the dude that called you to say you embarrassed him...... he is an EMBARRASSMENT to you!!!!! and you should tell your friend that you are so sorry, and you had no idea that these people were like this and this FRIEND is no longer a friend as HE EMBARASSED YOU!!!!! and you should tell this dude who invited you, he he was the embarrassment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

1. Maybe you were wrong to make a scene at the table, but you were not wrong for being offended by snobbish behavior.
You stuck up for your friend, which was the right thing to do.

2. You weren't wrong for inviting your friend. How were you to know that your table companions were going to be classless boors?

About the "low-life" thing - a person's worth is not measured by their salary. That was a very cruel statement. If one of my friends called another of my friends a "low-life" because of their job, then our friendship would be over.

All I can say is this; try to sit down & talk to the cafe worker and let her know how you're feeling. Your intention was not to embarrass her. Tell her how much you value her friendship & other people's opinions about her don't matter to you.

The other friend; what is really going on with this relationship? If this person was really a good friend, would he/she disrespect another of your friends in public???
A good friend (person) would never embarrass another in public.....it's just bad manners & lacks class.
Do you really want to be friends with someone who judges people by how much $$ they make, instead of their charater?

Answer 3

I think you did the right thing. It's NOBODY'S business what another makes in salary. It's tacky to even ask. If they were so highly educated, then they should have had the decorum not to ask such a personal question. They were also wrong for look down on someone who works hard for a living. A person's income doesn't define who they are. Good luck. 2D

Answer 4

If you can't get them to talk to you face to face, then write them both a letter explaining the reason why you got upset. Yes your intentions were good, but you could have used more tact in trying to stop the conversation. Let them both know that you still consider them your friends and would like for them to be your friend. Then see how it plays out. It might take some time, but letting them know the reasons for your actions will go a long way to getting things back to normal.

Answer 5

1. No, they deserved it but you could have been less harsh.
2. No you weren't. maybe you should tell her how bad you feel about it. The guy friend you lost seems to care more about his networks than about you so you shouldn't worry about losing his friendship.

Answer 6

If you're a high school counselor, you should be able to figure out your own problems.

Answer 7

Why did you post this three times within five minutes?

Answer 8

no
no
there are people who believe that if they make more money than others that they are better than them