A friends and I went to a “high class” function. (We work together at the same school and we talk all the time.) It was a fund raiser for AIDS research. I was invited by friends of other friends. By the time we got to the dinner, it was six of us seated at the table. The occupations of the people that were seated at the table were a Physical Therapist, Accountant, Chemical Engineer, a 'Tech guy," a high school counselor (me) and a school Cafe. Worker. (The Cafe. Worker came with me.)
(HERE IS THE ISSUE)
The question of occupation and salaries came up. I felt a little uncomfortable because with this bunch anything under six figs seemed to be chump change. So after they ask my friend (The Cafe Worker) what she made, after she told them the looked at each other for a second and then started to laugh. (I will be honest, I was mad as hell). My friend (Café Worker) was noticeably uncomfortable and felt out of place. They then asked what her salary was.
That is when I BLASTED their snooty aizzez. I don't remember everything I said, but it was enough to turn heads at other tables. Many people thought I was rude and mean. After I said what I had to say, no one spoke to me the whole night and the friend that invited me was very embarrassed by my actions.
(TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT)
On the way home my friend (Café Worker) thanked me for taking up for her, but she said that she did not want to go to any other events with me. She felt we really operated in two different worlds. (I was hurt by that b/c we had been friends for five yrs, but that is not the issue at hand.) The person who invited me called my cell phone while I was driving on the way home and cussed me out for embarrassing him and hanging with “low lives.” So I cussed his aizz right back, he wants nothing to do with me after this b/c he said that I ruined is “networks” (????)
(QUESTIONS FOR YOU)
1. Was I wrong for letting them have it at the fundraiser?
2. My friend at school (the café worker) no longer wants anything to do with me b/c she thinks that I have set her up for failure. Even though she is one of my best friends, Was I wrong for inviting her?
P.S. Please provide objective advice. I am a brotha that has lost two good friends by just going to a dinner party.
2007-12-19 01:29:30 · 6 answers · asked by Andre L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
1....i dont think you were completely wrong in telling these snot heads about them selves!...but...you could have handled it in a more calm and collected manner...
...first sign you let your temper take control "I don't remember everything I said"...you could have told them in a polite, but kurt manner and excused yourself and your friend from the table intsead...
2. Get your friend a flower or something...bring it to her at work and appologize to her...let her know that you really didnt mean for things to turn out that way...and you are very very sorry...
....as for being wrong for inviting her...i dont think you were...you had no idea that they were gunna be talking about their salaries...
2007-12-19 01:40:24 · answer #1 · answered by me not you 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Andre,
I would have poured coffee on their collective heads. But that's me.
My father was a working man through and through. He didn't have a high school education and yet he was endowed with an intelligence that few can match. He worked seven days a week all year long with little fanfare or accolades. He was just an everyday guy who sent his two sons off to college. He's gone now but he has left me with an indelible image for the rest of my life, a legacy that is impossible to live up to.
I've mowed lawns and painted houses. I've worked on my own cars when I didn't have the money. I know what it's like to work for "chump change" when your back, muscles, and hands hurt so bad you'd like nothing better than to stay in bed and risk being fired. I didn't because I didn't want to let my old man down.
I'm now a CPA and controller of a small company. I will always feel gratitude and a special empathy for those who keep this country of our's rolling. Their's is a position that deserves a special honor and recognition, at least in our hearts.
I hope your school friend will find the wisdom to grant you forgiveness.
Take care, Alan K.
2007-12-19 11:22:50 · answer #2 · answered by Alan K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that it all worked out that way!!
The best thing I think would be first of all don't lose any sleep over losing the friend that invited you, nobody needs that kind of negative energy. Much respect to ANYONE that gets up and goes to work everyday, be it a doctor or a gas station attendant.
As far as the other friend, she was hurt as well as humiliated and it will take some time to get over that. She probably thinks since you invited her to such an event with those kind of people maybe you are just like them and also feel as though she is beneath you.
Give it some time, she'll come around, the two of you have alot of time invested.
2007-12-19 09:40:00 · answer #3 · answered by reneej 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dayum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally feel you...... no you werent wrong, how rude of people to ask what income someone else brings in.... i wouldnt dream of asking someone what they make for a living.... how ignorant and rude... i would have done the same exact thing.... i am in the service industry by choice and i work downtown during the day and really tired of the attorneys, judges, business owners, bankers etc looking down on waitresses, bartenders, etc....... i would have blasted everyone of them as well...... ESPECIALLY the dude that called you to say you embarrassed him...... he is an EMBARRASSMENT to you!!!!! and you should tell your friend that you are so sorry, and you had no idea that these people were like this and this FRIEND is no longer a friend as HE EMBARASSED YOU!!!!! and you should tell this dude who invited you, he he was the embarrassment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you say you lost 2 good friends....... friend that invited you to high class function........ tell him to keep his high class functions...... he is not your friend.... cafe worker is your friend!!!! he put you down when he put her down!!!!!
2007-12-19 10:11:39 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Rhonda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have let them have it to. I hate people that think they're better than everyone just b/c they have money. I wouldnt worry about the friend that invited you to that gathering-if he got mad at you over this than he is one of them and he thinks he's better than you. I would concentrate on the girl you brought with you....she shouldnt feel the way she does and you have to make her realize what a good friend she is to you. Please try to make things right with her.
2007-12-19 10:02:58 · answer #5 · answered by Rockstar ☆ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no
no
there are ******* in the world who think they are better thean other b/c they make more money
2007-12-19 12:00:50 · answer #6 · answered by elle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋