wife has very little sex drive, need help!!!?

Question

I try everything to boost her sex drive up. I feel that I'm the problem. I only try about 1 time a month now, I still get turn down. I"m asking for to much? Dont get me wrong I don't force myself on her. I give her respect. Been married for 18 years now. Any help

Answer 1

Have you tried to seriously talk to her about this? Tell her how you feel, ask her what is wrong, tell her your concerned and ask her what you can do it make it better.

Nobody on here knows your wife or the situation, and if you have been married that long you should be able to talk about these things and come up with a solution.

You have to remember that woman and men have sex for different reasons. After 18 years, her reasons to have sex are not nearly as strong as yours nor are they the same. Reconnecting with her on a romantic, spiritual, adventuresome, spontaneous level will greatly increase your chance of magic in the bedroom.

She is probably bored, tired of the same routine and a quick romp in the hay isn't going to relieve the boredom. You have to make life interesting and fun again. Take her dancing, go on a cruise and spoil her. When you do approach her for sex, make it romantic and do it differently then you would have...Woman HATE things done the same way every time. You have to be creative and on your toes. Read some books, you are sure to learn a few new tricks.

Answer 2

I'm bipolar as good, however I need to opposite drawback, my sex force could be very high. My husband is amazed that the meds I take genuinely minimize intercourse force. Her situation could also be mental or a made of the meds she takes. If it can be the meds they can be changed. If it is in her head you may have to work more difficult at it. Females are very emotional about sex, if they don't think designated and cherished they only are not into it. You ought to create an atmosphere where she feels like she's lovely and attractive. Telling her is not going to cut it both, movements converse louder than phrases on this situation. Taking a few further minutes to warm her up is particularly most important. Plus not stressful intercourse is worthy, if she feels like she has to do it right now she's going to be grew to become off. Perhaps provide her time, say "hey, would you wish to have intercourse later?" or advocate some thing for an additional time. Or just walk as much as her and provides her a good long kiss and then walk away with out pronouncing whatever. She'll consider distinctive, you'll be able to look attractive and romantic and she or he'll even be breathless and wanting more. Excellent luck!

Answer 3

I have no sex drive either. I was married for 8 years, just recently separated. My husband thought it was his fault also, it wasn't, sexually anyway. It was made to be a chore though. For me, I could have used more help with household chores/children. Instead of trying to rush it imminently, he could have helped with those things, now that he's on his own he knows there can be a lot of work. Doing things for me, not expecting a "reward", spending time cuddling, just close, no 'asking' or implying would have been good and make me want to after lots of times like that.
Are there habits you know she doesn't like? Those could stop!! I'm not sayingit's just a one way street, but on the husband's side, those are the complaints I and my female friends regulary had/have.

Answer 4

is it possible she has not been to her gynecologist for too long? After eighteen years it seems like too many women attribute their "bedroom" problems on husbands..but often without realizing it.. child bearing can take more out of a girl than she has learned to replenish.

Make an appointment for her with her gynecologist ..or you can make one just go go talk to him. Make a list of what you consider to be symptoms.. and present your case. I would suggest though..that before you visit the doctor..you make the list..and sit down with her lovingly ..and make it clear to her that there is a problem and there may be a physical cause for it and you want to be sure she is ok. Sometimes a woman can have adhesions in the vagina which cause alot of pain but she may be unwiling to admit to her own husband that sex causes pain, etc. Or there could be a tiny blister on an ovary or on a fallopian tube.. these can cause huge problems with libido ..

In any case.. it is probably time for you to talk to her reasonably and suggest that it is time for a visit to the gynecoilogist .. that you want to go with her because you love her ..and then do it.

Answer 5

Have you tried talking to her about it? Gone out recently? made her feel special? I'm not blaming the man in the relationships, but sometimes there is a fixable problem that they don't want to hear about, don't care about, or just forget to ask about. I would sit with her, explain your needs, ask her what her needs are at this moment, and then LISTEN. You just taking the time to ask her what she needs might be enough for her to open up and tell you exactly what it is that is stopping her from being intimate.

Answer 6

maybe you have gotten to be a little boring and she is probably tired of the same penis. She might have a man on the side that gives it to her good and the way she likes it have you ever thought about that. I been with the same boy for 7 years and its been many of times ive though about being with someone else. I mean he is wonderful in bed but i would like to experience something new for a change!!!

Answer 7

Is she on any types of medication? Sometimes different medications can kill the sex drive in women.
Have you talked to her about it? Talk to her about what makes her want sex and see if you can recreate this. Maybe prompt her to start reading romance novels ... thats what gets me when i feel low sex drive for several months.

Answer 8

As said before, marriage counseling is a good idea......... and suggest she see her OBGYN, as there might be a physical reason why she's has a low sex drive.

But you really need to have a talk with her about your feelings.

Best of luck.

Answer 9

First thing i would do is try talking to her...Second thing is get a book about how to turn on a girl, try to change things up. Third try harder! Good Luck!!

Answer 10

Welcome to marriage hell and reality. The second both of you said "I do" your loving relationship was destroyed. This
happens to everyone. Some people figure this out in weeks and get divorced. Other lie to themselves for years!!! You just figured it out. If you ever fall in love again once this relationship is officially over. Don't change it. Learn your lesson and never get married again!!!!
Happy Holidays!!!