I am an accountant. I've been married for 4 years to a wonderful man whom I love and would hate to hurt, but I've had this client for about 3 years, he is gorgeous, elegant, smart, well spoken, single, I mean it's like he has no flaws. Every time he comes to my office I melt, I mean I keep it together so he doesn't notice but this man drives me crazy. He has always been a gentleman to me very professional but for the past year I have noticed that he has shown interest in me. He has sent me numerous gifts, which I didn't think much of at first cause I do get many gifts from many clients, he has sent me lunch or dinner to my office (he owns a few restaurants ) anyhow this morning he came to my office and when I extended my arm to shake his hand, he pulled me toward him and gave me a kiss, a very soft and short yet passionate kiss. It was so unexpected that for the first 3 seconds I gave in but than freaked out and pulled back and asked him to leave. I don't know what to do . . . .
2007-12-19 01:08:25 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He knows you're married, so this is really disrepectful to you and your husband. He's obviously used to getting his own way. If it was right, you wouldn't have pulled away from the kiss. You need to avoid him at all costs and ask one of your co workers if they can look after his account as you're really busy. If you reread your message, you've spoken about your husband first which tells me you already know what your priorities are. This guy sees you as a challenge. Don't let him win. You have too much to loose.
2007-12-19 03:15:44 · answer #1 · answered by celfone71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that after spending a little time with mr perfect, in a different setting (not work) that the shimmer and shine might fade a bit. So, what wowed you into marrying your husband? Was he completely a mr perfect also? I think its the challenge, the "hunt", to see if you can finally woo this guy into doing what he just did. I hate to say this, and i'll say it kindly. He would not have done what he did this morning if he hadn't been given the vibes that its ok.... The gifts and lunches should have been refused tactfully....otherwise, that was the green light for him to come on in and do what he's just done. I guarantee if any of my coworkers came in and planted one on me, without ANY forwarning or flirting beforehand, it would be totally in-appropriate. I think the question you need to be asking is how do you need to shut this guy completely off or either start separation/divorce proceedings. This is totally unfair to your innocent husband.
Your reaction pretty much said it all, when you pulled back and asked him to leave. Sounds like you met your challenge, got this guy to where you "wanted" him, and then, when he called your bluff, you're backing up... I'd chill out a bit, get your thoughts together and see where you stand. Then, make the appropriate annoucements to all involved.
2007-12-19 01:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him as a client. You need to consider several things. First, about your marriage:
1. have you been feeling any discontent at home? If so, get into counseling pronto.
2. It's perfectly normal to feel some anguish after a few years of marriage, and question your feelings. But remind yourself why you chose him.
Now, this client of yours: Run! Any person who will make a pass like that to someone they know is married, is a creap! Consider this: if you leave your husband for this guy, what makes you think he'll be faithful to you? He wont. Also consider, the parts of this man you see are only a small bit. You have no idea what he's like outside of your office. He may be a complete jerk. Is it really worth putting your marriage on the line, and betraying your husband's trust, to find out? If this guy is making a move for you, knowing you are married, then his only intention is to "get what he can't have". The chase is a game to him and that's what he wants. As soon as he has you, he wont want you anymore.
I know this from experience. Don't do it! And refer him to another accountant. Protect your dignity and your marriage.
2007-12-19 01:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your husband, leave this one alone. If you don't want to loose a client, leave the door open, bring in a third party (secretary or something) when he is there. Remember, just because he looks like he has no flaws, doesn't mean he doesn't and usually the grass is not greener. One apparent flaw is that he doesn't respect the boundaries of a married woman. Generally men that don't respect the boundaries of marriage are not looking for anything but a sexual relationship with no strings. If this is ok with you, then I guess you will go for it. You will lose your husband in the process.
Good luck!
2007-12-19 01:20:58 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like only you can make the decision as to what you need to do. I do think that this client of yours might seem flawless, but how well do you really know him? He could be an abuser for all you know. Being as flawless as you say he is sounds way too good to be true - I've read about this and studied this a lot - these guys are perfect, flawless, shower you with gifts, are mysterious, etc. But in the end, they end up being controlling, physically/mentally/sexually abusing, and the woman ends up very hurt or dead. So make sure you know the whole story if you choose to dump your husband for this guy.
I think, as someone else mentioned, you need to refer him to another CPA, and clearly draw the line. If you are tempted by him, then I think you ought to figure out what is wrong in your marriage to be tempted by another guy. If everything was fine in your marriage, you wouldn't be on here asking us for advise.
Good luck.
2007-12-19 01:22:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go for it because I would bet a million your husband is with someone else too. Here are the facts of life you obviously haven't learned yet, don't believe me go snooping!!!
1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins all relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth. I don't lie.
2007-12-19 01:52:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Angleiize, you are playing with fire. He tested you out by sending those gift and to see if you would cut him off from the very beginning but since he didn't get no friction from you, he thought it was smooth sailing. He pulled you in and kissed you because he thought you wanted him and he could sense it by your responses to him. Don't fall for the 80/20 rule, meaning on the surface the individual has no flaws and as time goes but you lose your marriage and all you work for because of his looks. It is simply not worth it.
2007-12-19 03:54:24 · answer #7 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl alot of things look better then what you have when you are married or just plain taken. But people change and not always for the best. You have a husband who you love and treats you good and you have been married to him for a while and he is still good to you. The grass may look greener on the other side but once you ge there you may regret it. I would do like the others say close the door and find him some one else. And remember there is alot of girls out there that would love to find a guy like your husband but he is yours you may not be so lucky again.
2007-12-19 01:20:18 · answer #8 · answered by genie_sawyer 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love your husband and respect your marriage... at the point you have done everything right...what you need to do is now is get rid of this guy for a client..... its just to temping.... if he is all you say.... if he continues to come in the office.. there is no way you two can forget what has happen.... he will call and say how sorry he is.... and it won't happen again... but it will ... and your marriage will go up in smoke and someone will get hurt.... you and your husband .. this guy has no respect for marriage vows...
2007-12-19 01:19:41 · answer #9 · answered by Sharon C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, then he certainly noticed you crushing on him... No man in his right mind, knowing that your married would do that... UNLESS he can see that you melt for him... I would talk to him and explain that while you think he is an awesome person, you are married and love your husband very much.
Then sit your husband down, TONIGHT, and explain that this man kissed you. You need to make sure he knows because if you hide it, that is the start of an affair and what is worse is he may find out down the road and of then trust is gone. If you love your husband as much as you state you do, tell him whats been going on.
2007-12-19 01:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by Beatngu 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋