and what if the age difference is 13 years.... n he is her student in college
2007-12-19 00:25:45 · 25 answers · asked by Smart G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What's the problem? If you have enough in common to have a relationship and you're both mature enough to handle it, then enjoy your time together.
2007-12-19 00:32:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work at a college, and we have rules that we cannot date students, and we cannot date collegues. However, I think that if this younger guy and this college instructor hit it off, and can keep things on the down low, then go ahead and date.
First issue - age - who cares? If you're both of age, and you're both truly in love/have feelings for each other, then 13 years is no big deal.
Second issue - is he STILL a student in YOUR class? If so, then DO NOT date under any circumstances. If he's just a student at the college and had you as a teacher in the past, then it doesn't matter. If you are grading him NOW, DO NOT date. Wait until he will NEVER, EVER have you as an instructor again. Or perhaps you can wait until he is graduated. If the feelings are genuine, you can wait until he's done with college.
This doesn't make you a perv or make you a bad person. Men 13 years older than women is perfectly fine. There is no difference if the woman is the older one. I know a lady who is 16 years older than her husband, and they've been married since he was 20 - for 15 years now. But the student in college where you work is sticky. You don't want to risk your job - you would take the downfall for this. This is why I suggest you do not let him enroll in your classes if you must date now.
Good luck to you!
2007-12-19 01:15:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it should not happen so long as she is working at that institution. Why is fairly simple. Most and I could even assume all colleges and universities have codes of conduct and rules about relations between employees and students. Any behavior that goes over the guidelines and seen as inappropriate will instantly cause that woman to lose her job as a professor and certainly go on her record for that matter.
With all the time and work that it takes to become a professor, jepordizing your career for someone is not the right step. It will terminate any contracts and probably have them in search of a job post haste.
Secondly: from a psychological standpoint there is a problem of dual roles. So long as the woman is his professor and he her student then they are not in equal positions of power. This is the main reason why this isn't allowed. They are not equals on the playing field as their academic roles do clash with romantic equality as needed to be sustained in any lasting committed relationship. With these dual roles any relations with this male is truly not entirely consented due to the professor and student roles and instead will be seen as using position to gain sexual gratification.
If it's a matter of lust, more will come along her way. If it's a matter of love then she should be able to wait the time before he is no longer a student and they are both on equal playing fields. So long as she has an impact on him in the professional field it will put her job in danger and not be ethical.
2007-12-19 00:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by Apple Gal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, try a 20 yr difference because that is my situation. He is 20 yrs younger than me...I have tried to break it off because I felt so guilty but he won't let me! He keeps insisting that age doesn't matter. After 2 yrs of being together and finding him to be alot more mature than guys my age, I am starting to agree with him! lol He is also a student in college and quite frankly, that doesn't matter either BUT sounds like your saying that she is the teacher and he is the student...if that's the case, I believe there might be a different standard. Very good luck to you!
2007-12-19 00:32:45 · answer #4 · answered by tina 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It happens all the time anymore. If the young man is mature enough to hang with an older woman and they are both happy in the relationship, then it doesn't matter at all. I have designs on a younger man myself and I don't care what anyone else wants to make of it. The ultimate decision is between the woman and her young man. No one else's opinion matters.
2007-12-19 01:01:26 · answer #5 · answered by froggsfriend 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Age really is just a number, it is how your heart feels, I guess it also depends on the age though,, like a 30 year old with 43 isnt so bad, but if you take a 16 year old with a 29 there is problems....So, i mean its not that bad, what is bad is the people that are agaist it, you cant help who you fall in love with.
2007-12-19 00:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think she probably is not as smart as she thinks she is and that she is making up stupid excuses in her head as to why it is "ok" to use a student for sex or to pretend it is "more" than sex. All it is ...is a woman who wants to be some poor little boys mommy in a very very weird way.
If the woman is all that smart..then she would have studied her psychology a great deal more so she would be able to look herself in the mirror and see how manipulative she really is and might not want to recognize it in herself.
2007-12-19 00:39:14 · answer #7 · answered by BelieverinGod 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of strange, but as long as they are in love and they are both over 18 it is legal. People might make fun of them a little because she went out with a college student and he went out with his teacher. Thats a resipee for disaster, but they can get married if they want to.
2007-12-19 00:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by anonymous_563 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very sexy, 'cause it's different, and against the rules. Why is ok for creepy old men to have 19 year old girlfriends but not older women? If you think in terms of having kids, this is the best combo, 'cause the womans ready mentally, and the teenage boy wants to hump all day long.
2007-12-19 00:31:42 · answer #9 · answered by ricnoodle 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No problem UNLESS you are a teacher, supervisor or have a position of some authority with him.
I think you knew that.
Are there not guidlines regarding this relationship in your employee handbook?
If you are a college instructor you should know better.
2007-12-19 00:36:48 · answer #10 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she obviously is lonely and cant get any attention from men her own age.any older woman feel sexy and wanted when a younger man starts giving them attention. this older lady is probably using this younger guy to fill up the emptiness in her life. she probably has issues and feels worthless and unwanted.the younger guy shouldn't get mixed up with this kind of woman.
2007-12-19 00:32:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋