My wife and I have been separated for 3 months and about a couple of weeks ago we started going to marriage counseling. So far the counseling has been useful, but how much longer should we go until we decide to work things with our marriage or to go on with the divorce. We have been together for 8yrs and married for 1 year. No infidelity ,physical abuse, or drug use. Just BAD communication between us.
My wife was the one that wants the divorce because she was "fed up". Even though she thinks that divorce is the best out, she starting to see that going to MC might not be too bad. Again nothing is guaranteed, it seems like she is giving a shot to work on our marriage.
I dont want us to go to counseling for the next 3 -6 months and at the end, we still going to divorce.
2007-12-19 00:19:01 · 19 answers · asked by DMa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no time limit... you'll both know when you are ready to proceed with a life together, or to end the marriage.
2007-12-19 00:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by Racer 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-06 05:27:16 · answer #2 · answered by Maura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're looking at counseling all wrong.
Going to marriage counseling is not only an investment into your marriage, it is also an investment into yourself. Even if your marriage ultimately ends in divorce, the counseling was not a waste. You will have gained some knowledge and some skills that you can take into your next relationship. You should also know that counseling takes time --- a year or two. As long as you guys aren't romantically involved with other people, you have a chance of getting back together and of having a good marriage.
2007-12-19 00:39:56 · answer #3 · answered by mt75689 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling should not be attended with the goal of fixing a marriage. To fix or solve issues I can tell you, 2 weeks will not do it. It takes time, patience's and a lot of effort. Time, even when is hard to wait, could be the factor that will help your cause. Go to counseling for YOU,,to figure those things you need to change,,In the long run, if you end up divorcing, at least you have worked on yourself and will have a better outlook next time....do this for you!
2007-12-19 00:25:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no guarantees. You can skip counseling, break up, and wonder if the counseling could've saved the marriage...or go through counseling and whether or not you stay together at least you'll know y'all gave it your best shot and so your decision to stay together or to divorce is one made after working hard on making sure ya didn't just throw in the towel prematurely.
How long counseling takes will depend on who you are seeing, how often, and how many issues need to be worked out to see if your marriage can get back on track.
2007-12-19 00:23:31 · answer #5 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back to the basics here! You're going to councelling to see if the problems can be ironed out for the marriage to work. Do you know yet? NO. You've started something, now wait til you have an answer, otherwise you've just wasted time and money. You can speed the process up somewhat by ensuring you communicate during and between these sessions, and convince your wife to do the same. Put the councellor's recommendations into practice right away. You'll know the answer soon enough. Walk through it, don't run away.
2007-12-19 00:39:53 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if your problem is communication, it sounds like mc is the best chance for you. the number of sessions varies, but what determines if mc works or not, is if you take back what you've discussed and the issues in your marriage, and apply them to better the situation at home. if you go to counselling and then move back in together without applying what has been discussed, it still leads to divorce.
2007-12-19 00:40:40 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Always Right 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, bad communication is no reason for a divorce... she sounds like a whimp... sorry, but that is what I think, lol!
counseling is for those who want to save the marraige, not for those still in question about it... if she is still saying she does not know if she wants to be married... you are both wasting your time and money...
and if she runs from this relationship she will have the same problems in the next one... I 99 percent guarantee it...
2007-12-19 00:37:37 · answer #8 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Zero. The second both of you said "I do" your loving relationship was over. Some people realize this in weeks and get a divorce. Some people lie to themselves for years. You realized it when you seperated and nothing can fix it. Move on to the next person, learn your lesson and if you are ever in love again DON'T CHANGE IT and DON'T GET MARRIED!!!
2007-12-19 01:10:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How many: One.
How long : Till you work out your differences.
Aim : No divorce bc it is final. That's what you are trying to avoid.
From what you have written it should be easy to fix because you have a) recognized the prob., and b) you are doing something about it. You both are willing. So, you both are pulling in the same direction. Hope it works well for you.
Good Luck.
2007-12-19 00:45:07 · answer #10 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not? You spent 8years with this woman, and you have only gone to counseling for a few weeks. You have to want the counseling to work, and that means owning your part in this and changing your behavior. If she isn't worth your time, then by all means, divorce.
2007-12-19 00:34:20 · answer #11 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋