She continues to walk on him and run his life, where do I fit in? We have crossed the just friends line, we can't just be friends, but I can't compete with a woman that continues to run his life and tell him where to go, when to go and what to do when he gets there. Am I just wasting my time?
2007-12-17 23:42:20 · 22 answers · asked by sweetpea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he's still listening to her then ya, ur wasting ur time. No man should be whooped over an ex!!!
2007-12-17 23:54:27 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It appears this women still has alot of control & influence over him, & this is not a good thing, especially when your the one caught in the middle, but understand, if you decide to marry this man or continue seeing him, this will be how it is for many more years, I,ve seen couples behave in this manner long after they have been divorced, & most of them like it, they like the fact that they still have their ex in the picture & in their lives, its almost like they cant let go, & they dont, but I,ve noticed a patern, most of the men who are at the beck & call of their ex,s, are typically the type of men with whom people can walk all over & have no back-bone, let me break it down a little, they tend to be men who are weak & men who a woman can easily dominate, they are mice not men, so I,m guessing you have one of these types, & if Im right, god help you, because this will be a tough fight, & it will be a fight that is winable but it,s gonna take some drastic behavior changes from your boyfriend, he,s gonna have to go from a boy to a man in a short time, as its clear he,s been acting like a child for a while, because no real man allows a woman to treat him like a puppet, may I also ask if he was raised by his mother? because alot of these whimpy types usually grew up with either a part time father in the home, or no father, or theirs a chance that he did have a father who was their but his father was being controled by his mother, this is what I mean about this being a hard fight to win, because if your boyfriend grew up seeing his mom take charge of his father & controled the family this will be what he knows & feels comfortable with, so in turn he will need to make a complete personality change, & this will take the help & advise from a therapist, it wont be a overnight change but this will be his fight that he must take head on.
2007-12-18 08:05:59 · answer #2 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit him down and let him know this bothers you. If they were together for a long time , he may just be used to her demanding ways. If the divorce was recent give him a little time. Maybe find ways to boost his self confidence a little bit. Not everybody handles a divorce well. I doubt he has feelings for her since he is with you, however you do need to draw the line somewhwere and let him know where that line is. If he truly loves you he will start standing up for himself and tell the ex to piss off. I have to deal with my ex on a daily basis almost seeing as we have a son together. She too is very demanding and manipulative and it did take me a few months to finally tell her to mind her own buisness. Good luck.
2007-12-18 07:53:45 · answer #3 · answered by puglyparker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband still obeys his manipulative ex wife.Then ask the man if he is willing to let you go because if the ex wife will dominate him then it will ruin your relationship.Don't compete surely if your husband loves you he will not let you have a place to fit in.You are just wasting your time if the your husband is DEPENDENT to his ex wife.Why he can't consider you?How can he protect you?You better find out yourself who is more important you or her.Good luck.
2007-12-18 07:51:57 · answer #4 · answered by dreampowergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wasting your life only if you believe you can change things. If you ae happy with the status quo, then be quiet and take it. I don't believe that you are happy though. SO here it is... The ex is a controlling dominant person, your bf is a submissive passive person. Neither will change for you. You then can only change yourself if you wish. You can become more dominant then her and force him to submit to you or you can become more submissive then him and become a pawn in their game of life. I personally would run the heck away from this phsyco mess. You need to find someone who is secure in themselves and has respect for you.
Get out !!!
Yoda out
2007-12-18 08:22:26 · answer #5 · answered by Yoda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gosh does your partner really love you? for if he does then he would not do those things, you can never compete with the ex-wife what should happen is for your husband to take his ex-wife out of his system....about the question are you just wasting your time? i guess you are, how old are you? i suppose you are pretty so why stick it out with a guy who cant tend to stand for you!!!
2007-12-18 07:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by impissedoff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's the ex-wife because she 'walks on him and runs his life?' Rise above her, don't stand in her shadow, stand beside your man and support him. Learn from HER mistakes and be better than her without rubbing it in her face. He's with YOU for a reason. DON'T compete with her- surpass her.
2007-12-18 07:47:56 · answer #7 · answered by Hank S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME!!! He needs to man up and kick her a** out of his personal life. Do you want to deal with her for the rest of your life? No, then run as fast as you can to the next man!!
2007-12-18 08:07:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really hate to say that your wasting your time, but until he's gets a back bone you very well might be. Talk to him about this and let him know that they need to have some borders.
2007-12-18 08:25:36 · answer #9 · answered by Who Knew? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't; she's an ex wife for a reason ;so do you want to become an ex too? if not then stand by your man;let him know that you will deal with his ex; and you do that by telling her to buzz off; he's your man now she had her chance and she blew it; and if she keeps going to the point of no stopping then that's when you file harassment charges to let her know that you mean business
2007-12-18 08:01:56 · answer #10 · answered by Juanita T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋