I have been married for a 2 years to my hubby. for the last two years i have put up with him being very verbally abusive, not holding down employment, being irresponsable, and just downright mean. dont get me wrong, we have had some great times as well. but when we have arguments he says things that i wont ever forget or heal from.
I have told him in the past that if the abuse didnt stop one day i would grow to despise him and that it would make me snap.
Every time he has been this way to me i feel like i love him less. now it is to the point i just want to leave him. but suddenly he is guilting me and telling me he wants to "work on being a better husband". but.... i have heard this before.. many many times. I Just feel like i am at my end and I want to leave him. It just seems hard as we have a 7 month old son. But i know my hubby and i know if i stay, i will be unhappy over the way he treats me for years to come. i need advice. seperate? and if so, what is the best way to.. :(
2007-12-17 20:56:19 · 10 answers · asked by jordy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ow, and i forgot to mention, i have also had problems with him being innapropriate with other women online. (VERY innapropriate).. and every time he is "so sorry" and it will "never happen again". but it has happened 6 times in the last 2 years. I found it each time by accident.
2007-12-17 20:58:50 · update #1
Leave him.This could shcok him into changing his ways.you have to thinkof your children.
2007-12-17 21:21:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sound like he may have a drug problem? Abusive,not holding down employment, being irresponsible, are things people do with substance abuse problems. I may be way off. Try counseling because then someone outside of your family ( that's not bias ) can give you guys an outside opinion and hear both side of the story. You should try as hard as you can for you child sake, and then if you are still unhappy with your life then at least when you do get a divorce you know that you did the most you can do without regrets. I'm sorry for your unhappiness we live one life we deserve to be happy
2007-12-17 21:18:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will always happen again, and im guessing when you hear "it wont happen again" you simply just dont belive it. You are entitled to a happy life where you get repect love and trust but you need to change it. it wont happen overnight and yeah there will be times where you think life is hard but you will look back on this a different person. My relationship with my daughters father got to the same stage and the only way i can explain it was like our relationship was like a cake in my hand and everytime something like this happened a peice was broken away and in the end up i was left with a crumb that i just couldnt make a whole cake from again. I had to make myself happy and ensure my daughters happiness - you do the same. you will come through the otherside
2007-12-17 21:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by Ayrshiregal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There you go.......... with ur additional details, it is so obvious that there is more than 1 reason for u to consider leaving him.
But since it is BIG decision and it also involves future of ur baby, u have to consider lots of things b4 putting ur foot down once and for all.
First obviously u have to EXHAUST all other ways in world to mend this relationship. And if nothing works out then go for counselling, then SEPARATION for atleast 1 year. Coz its still not divorce, it will let both of you see things in different light. You will also be able to see if grass is greener on the other side of the fence, how u cope with single life and all that.
If by end of 1 year u don't see any reason for going back then file divorce. This way you won't regret and u will save face infront of ur kid. He will also understand that u tried.
I knw its long and hard way, but i knw that no house should be broken just like that.
2007-12-17 21:12:13 · answer #4 · answered by abeer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're considering divorce, or you've been served with divorce papers, you're probably confused and concerned about the future. Fortunately, you don't have to sort it out alone. A local divorce lawyer can explain your rights and your options and help you make good decisions right from the beginning. Mistakes you make today could impact the final order in your divorce, and you can't afford to take changes with things like custody of your children, child support, and possession of your home.
I know you are unhappy about your marriage, but if you are considering divorce, here are some things for you to think about.
Divorce seems like the easy way out, but as you can see, there are many consequences, and many, many thing for you to work out to end your unhappy marriage.
2007-12-17 22:04:37 · answer #5 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry but do not do it for the kid!
Last thing you want to do is blame the kid cause you had to stay, try some counseling, your church should have one.
But your happines is the most importat thing in the world just remember you do have a boy and for the rest of his life you will be The Model Mom.
But it doenst matter how much you try, if he's not willing the relashionship will not work, it takes two to tango.
hope the best for you and the family
2007-12-17 21:13:19 · answer #6 · answered by Oscar m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a son and an obligation to work this out. I personally feel you are fighting a losing battle, this man obviously has no respect for you and is too immature to be anyone's husband. But for the sake of your child, you need to attempt to save your marriage. He needs to be in counseling, start with couples counseling. If he sticks with it, you'll know if he means it or not.
2007-12-17 21:04:29 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
marriage counseling. there are many marriage and family therapists (mft's) out there who have encountered similar issues. if you guys truly want to work on things, don't give up just yet, especially now that you have a child. however, verbal abuse is not okay and neither are his inappropriate comments to other women. he has issues he needs to work through. if he is game for counseling i would highly recommend it - this would provide a safe environment for you and your husband to express your feelings in a way that is conducive to healing. it would also force you to look at your root issues regarding this situation, as well as his root issues with abuse. either way, there is no excuse for his verbal abuses and there is validity in your feelings - there is healing that needs to take place for you!
2007-12-17 21:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The online women are not problem. But if you feel that you cannot live with him it is better to separate quickly and explicitly. Give some more time for yourself to be sure about your feelings then if you decided just step distinctly.
2007-12-17 22:40:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your sexy you can marry me...I love moms and I live in MI...I will be nice tho im 20
2007-12-17 21:08:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋