Hypocrisy
Hypocrisy is what you see everyday on your tv.
Why are we content with "democracy",
when all it takes is you and me to start a ripple in the sea?
Democracy's another form of monarchy.
So you tell me; are we headed for anarchy,
or just another hierarchy that leads to more bureaucracy?
My friend this on his space and wanted me to comment on it but I don't know what to say. I think it's kinda dorky but I like the way it sounds. What do you think of it?
If you think it's dorky too, what should I say?
2007-12-17 20:55:13 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
it's cute for starters, but the descriptions are wrong. I'd say it's kinda dorky.
2007-12-17 22:26:38 · answer #1 · answered by Dondi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The content is very relevant; the form needs some work. Tell your friend not to be discouraged, to keep writing and if he/she wants to write poetry, to read some of the older and newer poets to learn about poetic form. Otherwise, your friend can write this way in "poetic prose." We are all concerned about the meaning of democracy; it will never be perfect. As Mary Tyler Moore once said, "You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you." Democracy takes courage and bravery and a lot of work to keep it going.
2007-12-18 06:35:11 · answer #2 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that it's dorky. It's quite deep actually , if the rhyming doesn't turn you off first . Ask him/her to clarify why does he think 'Democracy's another form of monarchy'. when democracy is a way to end bureaucracy?
2007-12-18 05:44:25 · answer #3 · answered by nur'ain 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think it sounds okay.. but what is the title? and the truth significance to the poem? just that there is hypcracy? or that we are leading towards total bureacracy
the rhyming is there for sure
but sometimes the rhymes aren't going to be the things to get you one step ahead of someone else's thoughts
tell him to make it more personal.. or apply an event for explification to strenghten his thoughts and just to remain focused!
2007-12-18 05:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey just cheer him up.. with his stuffs, afterall he is ur friend who wrote.. might be the lines he wrote might not sound much efffective, but ur ecouragment would inspire him a lot to improve.
Good Luck!!
2007-12-18 05:00:15 · answer #5 · answered by bunchrockers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋