i dated a girl for four months. we were together every day. the first two weeks were amazing for both of us. but i got scared after two weeks when i found out her ex (one month away from divorce being official) was bad mouthing her infront of the kids. i completely did a 180 and ran away emotionally. we still hung out, but she was on an emotional island and ended up sleeping with another guy and me for two months. i found out when i called the guy. the moment i found out, i freaked out on her and started threatening her custody - that i would go to her ex and that she would lose all her custody. i never meant any of it. she told me she never wants to speak to me ever again. it's been 3 months. the other guy she ran to, they didn't work out. i'm sure b/c he was just using her for sex from what i've been told. i know she has feelings for me. but her ex found out about my threatening her custody, and is now involded. they're in the middle of a custody battle. how do i win her trust back?
2007-12-17 20:41:02 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't. That bridge is burnt.
2007-12-17 20:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both acted irresponsible and immature in the short relationship. Trust was broken on both sides, but you threatened her relationship with her children so if she truly cares for her kids, you are probably not going to be able to regain her trust, despite the fact that she may have feelings for you. If you even want a chance with her, (which I don't understand since she slept with someone else and cheated on you first) then start out by offering your friendship, no strings attached. If she's in the middle of a custody battle she needs a friend, not a lovesick ex. If you can establish a friendship and prove yourself trustworthy then it may grow into something more, but don't count on it, because she doesn't sound too trustworthy herself. Good luck to you.
2007-12-18 04:50:46 · answer #2 · answered by NinjenWV 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will be super hard to fix! You have done and said some unacceptable things!
I ope you realise that she had some probles: divorce, custody, ... She need support, emotional support and you made it even worse for her. I don't think you will ever see her again! BUT you can always try... Explain the whole situation to her, explain her how you felt, ...
But what I'm asking myself is this: she was divorcing and it seems like it wasn't an easy one, do you think she was even ready to start a whole new relationship? Maybe she was only with you for some emotional support, affection and sex. Maybe she did wanted to start all over again with you... I don't have the answer to that! But you have to give her a break. The felt safe with you and broke it...
Good luck!
2007-12-18 04:51:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you ned to give up on this one.
You only were together for 2 weeks and as far as she's concerned you showed your true colours.
Your supposed to be on your best behaviour so early on in a relationship.
I think you gave her an early warning of what was to come.
You messed up twice by A) not supporting her and B) threatening her.
Why should she believe any different after you behaved in this way.
I understand we all do silly things when we are pushed in a corner.
It sounds like she had enough going on in her life and you just added to the complications.
Just leave her alone now and give her time to heal and move on.
Learn from your mistake.
2007-12-18 04:56:02 · answer #4 · answered by Victoria P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I think that you completely screwed that one up......and for the woman that said never ever threaten to mess with a woman's children quit being so stereotypical I have met some pretty bad mothers in all my travels and there are great moms and bad moms and the same for dads......
joy to you lol
2007-12-18 04:53:14 · answer #5 · answered by Duane J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be in a relationship that already has this much baggage in it??? There are too many great women out there to waste your time with all this kind of drama. Find a woman who is NOT sleeping around for heaven sakes... Find a girl who loves you and will only be WITH YOU!
2007-12-18 04:58:50 · answer #6 · answered by think about that~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stay out of it until she has resolved her own problems. She needs to do this on her own otherwise everyone is going to get hurt. For your own sanity take a back seat for a while. A friend of mine was going through something similar and found that one minute she wanted him the next she need some space he went to hell and back with it and in hindsight wished he stayed out of it and just let her know that he was there if she needed him.
2007-12-18 04:48:25 · answer #7 · answered by Ayrshiregal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that now you understand her behavior when she became unsure of everything and f*cked around with her ex and you and the other guy. And you want her back, and will not turn away always when she get in emotional disorientation, but you will try to help her.
2007-12-18 06:47:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave her alone or she could lose her children.
You messed it up anyway by getting scared, ran away, then threatening her custody.
Never, ever threaten a woman's children!!!
Joy to you..
2007-12-18 04:47:28 · answer #9 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't deserve it. Leave this woman alone. Didn't those kids have enough problems with their parents divorcing and now you maliciously harmed them with your selfishness? Seek professional help.
2007-12-18 05:01:39 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother - I think you both would be better without each other..
2007-12-18 04:55:40 · answer #11 · answered by ForeverAnAngel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋